Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem

As parents, we’re always looking for ways to make our kids happier, healthier, and more successful. Yet, few of us know exactly how to do that.

 

Beyond showering them with compliments and positive affirmations all day long, we’re pretty lost.

 

According to experts, what we should be doing instead is teaching them how to be more resilient, feel confident about themselves, and build up their self-esteem.

 

Because we know how much you want the best for your kids, we rounded up five of the most effective ways to build your child’s self-esteem.

 

Let’s get started.

 

Give Your Child Responsibilities

 

Studies show that children who take on age-appropriate responsibilities from an early age grow into highly successful adults.

 

Another thing you can do is give them choices. When children feel like they have options, it makes them feel validated, like their opinion matters.

 

For young children, you can give them a few simple chores around the house. Then, give them the chance to choose between pancakes or waffles.

 

As they grow, their range of responsibilities and choices should grow with them. This will help prepare them for the more challenging choices they’ll face later on in life.

 

So, they may whine and complain at first. But they’ll definitely thank you later.

 

Create Opportunities for Growth

 

We all want our kids to be successful at everything they try out. One way to do that is to pay attention to what your child enjoys doing. Then, help them set achievable goals in their scope of interest.

 

This opens up opportunities for your kids to try new activities and get that bubbly sense of pride when they learn something new. They may even make new friends and engage in social interactions outside of their class environment.

 

Remember that no matter what activities your child seeks out, they need to feel like they’re accepted by their parents. This means that if you want them to be a star athlete and they love painting instead, you still have to show your support and avoid focusing on weaknesses or shortcomings.

 

Get Your Child to See the Bright Side of Failures

 

You probably feel your heart burst with joy whenever your child accomplishes something or masters a new skill. Yet, you have to face the fact that they’re bound to mess up and make mistakes.

 

Your child has to get the message that you’re not seeking perfection. But you put more value on effort and progress, even if it means failing because while failing is never pleasant, it’s still a crucial part of growing up.

 

Plus, if managed properly, failure can be an opportunity to learn something new and stay humble. It also helps them maintain the courage needed to try again, which is always difficult to do even as adults.

 

However, our role as parents is to show our children that we love and accept them no matter what. It also teaches them to have a good attitude even during difficult times, and that it’s important to stay persistent and persevere.

 

Praise from Your Heart

 

You may be praising your child 24/7, but is it really heartfelt? Kids are intuitive when it comes to this sort of thing. They’ll know right away if you mean it or if you’re just going through the motions.

 

So, the next time you praise your child, make sure it’s heartfelt. For example, try saying something specific.

 

Look them in the eye and describe exactly why you feel this way or what particular part of their drawing caught your attention.

 

It may be a very small part of your day that you probably won’t remember a couple of hours later but to your child, it’s an affirmation that they’re loved unconditionally.

 

Avoid Sarcasm

 

It’s easy to let the stress of our jobs and responsibilities get the best of us. Then, we get frustrated and say things we don’t mean.

 

Though, we have to rein in our frustrations and remember that kids take everything to heart. So, even if you’re saying something sarcastic as a joke, all they’re going to pick up on is your tone and your choice of language.

 

Always keep in mind that your child is always seeking your approval, even if they pretend not to care. They want you to notice them and be proud of them.

 

At the same time, we can be too critical of our kids: they’re lazy, they misbehave, and they talk back. But saying these harsh, sarcastic things to your kid won’t motivate them and will only make things worse. So, the next time you get frustrated with your child, take a few minutes to cool off before blurting out something hurtful.

 

Not only will you end up regretting it, but over time, your kid will start to develop a negative view of themselves. This has a direct impact on their emotional and psychological health, which undermines their self-esteem.

5 Signs You Are Way Too Guarded

All of us have run into times when we were hurt or felt like someone took advantage of us. And everyone has a bit of a guard up as they get older, forcing them to be more selective about the people they talk with and the information they share. This can give us some protection, but at some point, we can become too guarded and refuse to let anyone into our lives again. 

 

When you are way too guarded and have put too many walls up around you, it can be almost impossible for you to let someone in again. You may be open to love and want to find someone to spend your life with, but every time someone gets close, you shut them down and push them away. How can you tell that you are too guarded and that this problem is causing a big issue in your life?

 

When we are guarded, we will take normal situations and overthink them or assume that there is something wrong with having them in our relationship. There are several signs that you are acting way too guarded and it is starting to harm your relationships. These signs include:

 

• You swallow all your emotions: You decide to push all of your emotions down and never bring them up because you are desperate for things to be different from the last time. While this may sound like a great idea, pushing the emotions down will just make them explode worse than before.

• You have trouble with intimacy: When someone tries to be intimate with you, you decide to play it off as a joke. You may do this to try and protect yourself, but it ends up hurting the other person, which is not a good thing either. You may notice that feelings overall are going to make you uncomfortable. This can include all types of emotions, from having them, talking about them, and seeing others on screen displaying them.

• You are very critical: You are critical and try to play things off as cool to not talk about your emotions. You may feel that this keeps people at a distance, and it does. They will sense your attitude and run for the hills, especially if they would like a commitment.

• Your personality is intense: Those who have their guard up quite a bit are going to play a part, trying to show off how amazing they are, even when they feel down in the dumps. This can often be overdone, and most people can see right through it. You need to be your true self, not someone else.

• You see commitment as an ultimatum: If the other person wants you to commit, it can feel like a bad thing, even though most would see it as a good thing. People who are guarded see this as a big ultimatum, rather than a great milestone that should be next in a relationship. You may feel like your partner is trying to ruin a good thing by pushing it forward, rather than just letting things be. Your emotions can get the best of you, and it can lead to a fight that will end the relationship. 

 

When you exhibit several of these signs or more, it is a red flag that you are pushing people away and need to look at a new approach. If you have been hurt in the past, it is normal to put these walls up to provide yourself with some protection, but it is time to recognize the signs and bring them down if you want to experience true love again. 

5 Tips To Become A Better Listener

Most of us are good at talking and telling our stories, but when we want to make a lasting connection with other people, we need to take the time to become good listeners. We can learn so much about other people and how they interact with us if we can stop and listen to what they are saying and pay attention to some of their nonverbal cues as well. 

 

According to Harvard Business Review, listening well is a skill that can help you through many areas of your life. By learning how to become a better listener, you will be able to interact with anyone and make lasting connections that will help you succeed. Some of the tips that you can use to become a better listener include:

 

Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues

 

Active listening means that you need to pay attention not just to the verbal cues that the person is saying out loud, but also to the nonverbal cues. This will tell you so much more than the words from the other person. There are a ton of nonverbal cues that you can consider listening for including body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. You will be amazed at what this can tell you. 

 

Repeat Back

 

This one can feel a bit unnatural at first, but you will find that it helps you to process what the other person is saying and shows them that you are paying attention. You don’t need to repeat everything but repeat the last few words back when they are done talking. It can keep you on track, helps the other person feel important, and gives you a few seconds to gather your thoughts. There is no reason to put it into your own words; repeat the words exactly as they were said. 

 

Ask Questions

 

You should ask more questions than you think is necessary. This will help the other person feel like you are listening to them and trying to understand what they tell you. And it is a great way to make sure that you are not overlooking the details. It is unlikely that you will ask too many questions at any time, so keep asking them to show that you are paying attention. 

 

Minimize the Distractions

 

It is really hard to pay attention to the other person if there are a ton of distractions going on around you. if you can’t focus in the room, maybe consider asking the other person to go to a new location so you can give them your full attention. Avoid interruptions, noise, and even your phone to make sure that you can give the other person as much attention as possible. 

 

Don’t Rehearse What You Will Say

 

One of the biggest mistakes that people will make when it comes to listening is that they spend more time rehearsing what they will say, rather than just listening. They want to sound witty or get their important information out there and they end up missing out on key details that would help them get along with the other person better. This is something that you need to avoid. 

 

Instead of rehearsing your responses, you should simply take a brief pause when the other person is done to compose your thoughts. You can think four times faster than the other person talks, so you will need to slow things down and learn to pay attention. Use that brainpower to stay focused so that you can take in as much information as possible, rather than focusing on something other than the person in the conversation.