5 Tips for More Effective Conflict Resolution

Conflicts are bound to happen, whether at home, at work, or in between. Unfortunately, what can start as something trivial can quickly escalate to something much more serious in a matter of minutes.

 

That’s why it pays to know how to effectively resolve any conflict you find yourself in. This way, you can create some healthy boundaries and balance your emotions without creating unnecessary stress and anxiety.

 

Here are five tips for more effective conflict resolution that will help you out of any jam. Take a look.

 

Tip #1: Find the Source of the Conflict

 

The first step in conflict resolution is to identify the source of the problem. Once you identify the issue, you can start taking the right measures toward fixing it.

 

On the other hand, if you carry on without knowing exactly why you’re feeling the way you do, you’ll be angry and all worked up without really knowing why.

 

So, while it may seem like a waste of time at first, if you think about it, you can’t solve any problem unless you first find the source of the problem.

 

Here’s another way of looking at it:

 

When you identify the root cause of the issue, everyone involved can help strive towards not repeating the same thing in the future.

 

Tip #2: Find a Quiet and Safe Place to Talk

 

Once you understand the underlying causes of the conflict, it’s time to bring in the other person if you haven’t already. The thing about conflict is that you have to nip it in the bud and address it in a timely manner, so it doesn’t manifest into something bigger over time.

 

Remember that there’s nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion every now and then. Yet, it’s how you communicate that makes all the difference in the world!

 

However, we’ve all been in similar situations and it can be daunting to try and engage in this type of discourse. Yet, you have to muster up the courage and just start because the sooner you deal with it, the better the outcome will be.

 

Tip #3: Actively Listen

 

Active listening plays a big role in determining the way your conflict resolution proceeds. So, you have to be patient when it’s the other person’s turn to speak.

 

Write down any rebuttals that pop into your head to avoid interrupting them.

 

Show that you respect the other person’s emotions and point of view. This way, they’ll make it a point to try and do the same when it’s your turn to speak.

 

Tip #4: Point Out Ways to Solve the Problem

 

After each person has had their chance to talk and listen, the next step is to try and find some sort of middle ground that both parties can agree on.

 

You’ll probably need a pen and paper or a board to write down your ideas. Then start brainstorming.

 

Write out all the ideas that come, even the crazy ones. Those are usually the ones that lead to an effective end to the problem.

 

Although, there’s one critical thing to always remember when working to resolve any conflict, and that’s to only focus on the issue at hand and not the person.

 

This will help make the other person feel safe enough to start finding ways to solve the issue, rather than always be on the defensive or feel like they’re constantly being judged.

 

Tip #5: Agree on the Best Solution

 

Finding common ground can be easier said than done. It requires each party to own up to their part of the conflict.

 

Not only that, but it also means they have to put in the effort of looking for a suitable compromise. Plus, they have to take the necessary steps to resolve it and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

 

That can only take place once all parties have set clear expectations while respecting the other person’s differences. Also, it’s helpful to think of conflict as an opportunity to grow. When it’s managed properly, it can bring great insight and help you become more attuned to your needs and the needs of those around you.

 

The good news is that after opening up communication lines, taking the time to listen, and collaborating on solutions, it’s all downhill from there. It becomes easier to establish neutral ground where everyone feels comfortable speaking and sharing ideas.

 

Bringing Out The Best In Others

When you take the time to bring out the best in others, you may find that it is enough to change the world. Everyone has something that makes them unique and special, something that makes them stand out from the crowd. But not everyone knows what that is or how to find their unique talents. They may assume that they are not as good as others and their self-esteem is going to falter as well. 

 

You could be the change that will help them to see the best in themselves, the champion behind them that will never let them fall behind. Some of the ways that you can bring out the best in others include:

 

Be Generous

 

To start, you need to be generous. Give others your time and energy. Even more importantly, give them the benefit of the doubt. Believe in them, even when they fail or stumble and struggle to believe in themselves. It takes no talent to believe in someone who is already reaching their goals and knocking down all the walls. The hard thing is to see some of the talents that are buried deep inside someone, especially when that person doesn’t even know that talent is there. 

 

Be Open-Minded

 

Talent can take a lot of different forms and it can bring someone into unusual situations. Many of the most talented people you may meet throughout your life will be completely different than you. For example, maybe you like to have things quiet and this person likes to be loud and outgoing. The greatest talent in seeing the best in others is to get past some of your own biases. Kick that to the curb and see what a difference it makes. 

 

Be Clear

 

When you want to bring out the best in others, your role is to be clear and interact with other people. If you want to do this, you need to collaborate, foster talent, and be there for the other person. You don’t have to be the most capable or the smartest or the best person in the room. You just need to be clear and ready to listen and learn along the way. Let the other person know that you value them and would like to be there for them as they learn more about their talents as well. 

 

Be Persistent

 

It is never easy when it is time to foster talent. The other person can get discouraged and often distracted. They can come to rely on you to do most of the work, rather than taking on the initiative and using some of their talents and skills. This is natural because finding talent can be difficult and some people may get discouraged. Your goal is to be persistent with them and not let them give up at all. You can be there to help others, but your job is not to do the work for them. With some good persistence, you will be able to help them reach their goals and they will be proud that they put in the work themselves. 

 

Be Present

 

You need to pay attention and be present to spot the talent in other people. You need to be able to find some of the smallest clues because most people don’t know their talents and so will not show them off to you in the process. You have to be curious to learn more about that person and then be present enough to show that you care and want to be there for them as well. The greater your ability to pay attention, the more talent you can find for other people. 

 

Developing Willpower And Self-Control To Change Behavior

Willpower and self-control are crucial ingredients for success, transformation, and mastery. So, how can you develop each one to change your behavior and thought process for the better? Keep reading to find out.

 

Willpower

 

The spiritual leader and activist, Mahatma Gandhi, said, “Strength doesn’t come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will [power].” Yet, what exactly is willpower?

 

Basically, willpower is your ability to turn down and curb inner conflicts, such as short-term temptations, to meet long-term goals.

 

Say you want to supersize your takeout order or smoke a cigarette. But, deep down, you know you shouldn’t.

 

Or it could just as easily be the reverse. Maybe there’s something you know you should do, but keep procrastinating to avoid doing it, like going to the gym or filing your taxes.

 

When you reach this crossroads, that’s when your willpower kicks in. This instantaneous reaction stems from the prefrontal cortex (PFC), which is the front section of the brain responsible for regulating our behavior and decision-making abilities.

 

So, the first thing you need to do to develop your willpower is to keep your prefrontal cortex in good shape by:

 

• Getting quality sleep each night

• Eating a nutritious, well-balanced diet

• Exercising 3–5 times a week

• Managing stress

 

Can We Run Out of Willpower?

 

Interestingly enough, experts say that we have a finite stockpile of willpower. You start your day with only so much and the more you use it, the faster you run out.

 

Take, for example, trying to control your temper on your way to work, at work, then on your way back home from work. You also use up your willpower when you try to ignore distractions, help your kids with their homework, and negotiate a compromise with your partner.

 

Just like our actual muscles, our willpower gets worn out from all that repetitive use.

 

How to Develop Your Willpower

 

Check out these tips to increase your reserve of willpower.

 

• Learn breathing techniques

• Practice daily affirmations

• Meditate each day

• Focus on what’s important now by postponing what you shouldn’t do for later

• Limit your intake of addictive substances, like alcohol and nicotine

 

Self-Control

 

Self-control is defined as the “restraint exercised over one’s impulses, emotions, or desires” and works side-by-side with willpower. When you practice self-control, you direct your willpower toward the outcome you want.

 

This means that at times, you’ll have to not do something, like when you want to eat healthy and pass on the supersize meal. It also means that there will be times when you have to put in a conscious effort to dosomething, like building good habits or getting started on those taxes.

 

Ego Depletion

 

And, as with willpower, it’s also finite. In other words, each time you use self-control, your power to make sound decisions gradually diminishes until you start again the following morning. This is what experts refer to as ‘ego depletion’ and it happens because you spend most of your waking hours trying your best to focus on making decisions and exerting your willpower.

 

So, it’s no surprise that by the end of the day, you feel depleted and exhausted, and probably find it difficult to think coherently, let alone be able to make choices you won’t regret in the morning.

 

How to Develop Self-Control

 

Luckily, there are ways to improve your levels of self-control and reduce the impact of ego depletion. Many of them rely on the same techniques used to boost your willpower, like getting good sleep and managing stress, while others are slightly different.

 

Take a look.

 

• Learn how to regulate your emotions.

• Practice self-compassion.

• Become aware of your wants and needs to direct energy toward self-improvement.

• Manage your time and energy more efficiently.

• Create short and long-term goals to stay motivated.