Never Look at a Failure As Final

Do you know anyone who seems to be bulletproof? You know, that friend of yours that takes failures in stride and is always smiling and moving forward in life. How do they do it? You know they're not immune to setbacks or hardship. They just seem to be able to bounce back quickly. Life's inevitable difficulties don't keep them from living the life they desire.

 

By the way, that person can be you. Mental resilience is something that can be developed. It's not a character trait you have to be born with. Every time you suffer some type of loss or failure, you have an opportunity to respond with resilience and emotional control.

 

If that seems impossible for you sometimes, here's what you need to start doing. Never look at a failure as the final result. Don't let some hardship or difficulty be the final chapter in your story. Or, as famous author F. Scott Fitzgerald said ...

 

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."

 

That is such a powerful reminder that your outlook is everything. The person with resilience chooses a positive outlook. They understand that negative things are going to happen in their life. Yet they don't allow that to be the end of their journey.

 

They don't embrace any single failure or loss as the final declaration of who they are.

 

Just Take One More Step

 

Resilience means persisting. You keep going. You push forward and see life's difficulties as nothing more than challenges. You can either become stronger and more capable or allow a defeat or failure to be a statement of who you are.

 

This can seem like simple advice, but the truth is, sometimes, the hardship we encounter in life can be truly debilitating. We simply don't see a way out. The worst of possible things has happened, and there's simply no way that we see any good coming from this.

 

When this happens, as it inevitably will in life, just take one step forward.

 

Don't worry about some big end result. You may be in a terrible situation. If you are, just make one positive movement. 

 

Have one positive thought. Move in the direction of a positive outcome. Even if it's miles away, don't worry about that end result. Just take the first step that moves you a little bit away from the difficulty you encountered.

 

Never let any single defeat be your final defeat. The instant you decide to relentlessly push forward, you show the world and yourself that you are a resilient human being. You won't be kept down for long because your unbreakable mental resolve won't allow you to be defined by defeat.

 

5 Types of Negative Self-Talk and How to Stop Them

We like to think we’re optimistic, positive people. After all, no one wants to be considered a grump. Besides, isn’t that what we’re taught from the time we’re children, to smile and think the best of those around us?

 

In truth, we don’t always quite hit the mark. We might mean to be positive, but those negative thoughts have a way of creeping in, especially if we’re tired or anxious. Strong emotion has a way of derailing us, as do the negative influences around us. In short, we’re constantly being broadsided by negativity, and we can’t help but respond in kind. 

 

How do we learn to recognize when our self-talk is turning negative and stop it before it gains a foothold in our lives? We start by learning how to identify the most common culprits.

 

Black and White Thinking

 

The minute you start using ‘all’ or ‘nothing’ statements you’re already falling into a negativity mindset. When this comes up, the best thing to do is to remind yourself the world doesn’t really work that way. In fact, there are more shades of grey than you might think.

 

Tunnel Vision

 

When you can only see the bad in everything, it’s no wonder you can feel lost in a sea of despair and negative self-talk. Here you see the world as only negative and seek out proof by pointing out every flaw or failure. This is defeated by rewording the statements as they come up. Look for the positive spin you can put on things. 

 

The Disaster Plan

 

When you can only see the negative outcome in everything. For this, accept that sometimes, failure happens. You can even use dire predictions to work out a ‘plan B’ in case you need one, but also remember to remind yourself there’s also a chance of success in what you try. There’s no reason to assume the worst.

 

Anticipation

 

In this, you assume you know what someone else is thinking, and it’s never good. To combat it? Try having an honest conversation with the person instead. Let them speak for themselves. They might even surprise you. Again, quit assuming the worst.

 

The Guilty Conscience

 

You messed up. Once. A long time ago. It’s time to let it go. For some people, their brains are expert at bringing up the past, regardless of how much time has passed or what you’ve done to correct the mistake. Here you need to remind yourself of the lessons you’ve learned. Remember, the past is in the past. Look forward, seeing the possibilities. Let go of the rest.

 

The world really is a more wonderful place than you might have realized. When you let go of negative self-talk, you’re giving yourself the ability to try out a new frame of mind and see just how good things can be. Embrace positivity. Discover what the world has to offer!

 

4 Steps to Creating Affirmations that Work for You

You've probably heard about the Law of Attraction, and how powerful affirmations can be to help you get what you want out of life. When you focus on positive thoughts, you can turn around negative beliefs, feelings, and attitudes that have been stopping you from living your best life.  

 

Affirmations are so powerful that it's essential that you get them right. But shaping the right affirmations for you and your situation is not always easy. Here are four steps you can follow to make sure that your affirmations fit you like a glove. 

 

1. Take That Negativity Bull By the Horns

 

Now is the time to identify and confront those negative beliefs that are holding you back. What are the messages that have stuck with you since childhood? Some of the most common ones are that you're not smart enough, or you've never been good at math/writing/public speaking/standing up for yourself. Or the sucker-punch of 'I always mess things up.' These beliefs make you feel bad, and it's time to look them in the eye and tell them to take a hike. 

 

2. Write Down Your Set of Negativity Beliefs

 

Once you have worked out your negative mindset script, be brave, and write them all down, even the ones that make you squirm. Writing them down gets them out of your head and into the cold light of day. 

 

This may not feel good, but it will feel so much better when those words are out of your head. Keep going even if it hurts! Now you're ready for the fun part.

 

3. Make Your List of Opposites

 

This step will feel a whole lot better. Take each negative belief and write down the opposite belief in the second column of your paper. And make sure that you make it a positive statement. Do not write "I am not good at math'; instead, frame it as a positive "I can do math,' or whatever positive statement works for you. If this feels too hard, you can start with something softer like 'I am open to being good at math." 

 

Make your positive statement as strong as possible. 

 

4. Rinse and Repeat

 

The power of affirmations is becoming embedded deep in your mind. And the best way to do that is to repeat them over every day until your affirmations become part of your mindset. 

 

Say them out loud in front of a mirror every day. Make it part of your routine, like brushing your teeth. Soon those affirmations will be beliefs that build you up.