5 Essential Tips for Managing Frustration

Not everyone knows how to manage frustration well. It’s not taught in schools (though it should be) and our parents weren’t always the best examples. Even if you’re among the fortunate few who grew up around people who never seemed frustrated, chances are we never learned how to channel our frustration into something positive or good. 

 

Managing frustration isn’t impossible. These five essential tips will help you keep your cool, even in the most frustrating of circumstances.

 

Take a Step Back

 

The smartest thing you should do when feeling frustrated is to take a step back. Breathe. Don’t react. Take a minute to distance yourself from the situation so you can ask what just happened and try to figure out an answer. By stepping outside of the situation, you can see things more objectively. Ask if there are pros or cons to this situation. Remind yourself if you’ve been here before, and you’ve gotten out of it unscathed. Even if this is new territory for you, chances are it wasn’t for someone else. Remind yourself you will survive this challenge.

 

Embrace the Emotion – Then Let Go

 

When you’re frustrated, you’re pulling a lot of emotion into a situation. Your first reaction might be to suppress these feelings. Rather than pushing down and trying to ignore them, identify what you’re feeling, then allow yourself to feel it before letting it go. That keeps emotions from controlling the situation.

 

Act When Calm

 

When you think you’re outside the emotions and able to act rationally, do just that. You should make all decisions from your logical self, not the emotional one. The goal is to respond to a frustrating situation, not react.

 

Identify What You Wanted in the First Place

 

Frustration tends to happen when you’re not getting something you want. What triggered this frustration? Was this a want or a need? If it’s a want, is it practical or reasonable? Or is this something you need to let go?

 

Make a Choice

 

In the end, frustration only leaves you with two choices: accept the status quo, even If it’s painful, or change the situation to ease the frustration. Decide which it’s going to be. If you’re going with the status quo, you have to accept the frustration as being part of this decision and learn to live with it or let it go. 

 

Managing frustration isn’t hard so long as you can stay out of the emotions of the moment. Keep a handle on yourself and take the time to think things through. Then act as needed. 

 

Fight Your Inner Critic

There is a voice inside your head that tells you when you do something wrong. It acts as a filter of sorts and is needed to help you survive. It alerts you when you are running late, and tells you to get to work and stop slacking off. But, sometimes it can be too harsh for your wellbeing.

 

When this happens, it’s time to fight your inner critic. You need to take it down a notch or two. You don’t want to silence that critic completely, but you do want to teach it some balance. After all, you can’t be wrong 100% of the time.

 

Why do you have this inner voice that can be overly critical? It is a protection mechanism to help guide you through your journey in life. Sometimes it shouts at you to let you know you are in danger. Other times, it can let you know what you should say or not say in social situations.

 

This inner critic has also lived a lifetime of negativity. It sees you watching the news or listens in on conversations you have with others. This constant barrage of negativity has helped it build into the cynic that it currently is.

 

Your inner critic also has your parents and childhood teachers on its side. After all, you spent your entire childhood listening to these authorities telling you what you are not allowed to do. The inner critic scooped up that information. And it was reinforced for years.

 

It’s time to temper that inner critic. It has gone on for too long with unchecked power. It won’t be easy since it has had control of you all your life. But, you can take some steps to curb its impact.

 

You need to start using positive affirmations. Do this consistently, preferably on a daily basis. But, you can get away with weekly if that's all the time you have. Be prepared for resistance from your inner critic. Your inner critic may not have been talked back to for years. It usually has the run of things so be aware of that.

 

You need to start paying attention to the messages the inner critic is giving you. It may be worth it to jot them down on a piece of paper. Evaluate those messages frequently and decide if it is giving you the right advice. You will find that often it isn’t. When you make this discovery, it’s time for you to make some changes.

 

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

You are different from everyone else. Celebrate that. You offer a unique perspective in this game called life. We should all be thanking you. If you are constantly comparing yourself, it means you aren’t happy with who you are. Why is that?

 

People are brought up to conform to society. If you don’t fit within society’s norms, you are looked upon disapprovingly. However, most people aren’t normal in the truest sense of the word. Everyone has quirks and idiosyncrasies. It’s these differences that allow us to find solutions to problems. It also keeps us from getting bored. Imagine if everyone were truly the same. There would be nothing new to discover about one another.

 

There are some reasons to conform. For instance, you need to follow the rules and laws of your country and community. Otherwise, you will suffer consequences for not doing so. Also, you want to treat others with respect so that they will hopefully return that respect. However, if you try to act in ways in which others believe you should, you aren’t going to live your life to the fullest.

 

That’s why you should get out of the habit of comparing yourself to others. When you do this, you are likely setting unrealistic expectations and will lead you to be disappointed. Comparing yourself to others will result in you resenting those people. They have their reasons for being the way they are, and it has nothing to do with you.

 

There are qualities you admire in others. There is nothing wrong with trying to adopt some of those admirable qualities for yourself. However, it shouldn’t get to the point where you are trying to redefine who you are to be like those people you admire. You aren’t them, and you never will be.

 

You have but a short time on this planet. If you spend most of that time trying to be like someone else, you are in for a rough ride. If you stick to who you are and find others willing to accept you for that, you are going to be more satisfied for most of that time you live. Others will be happier with the real you as well. You won’t be a pretender. People see right through that kind of behavior. Just think about others who are not true to themselves. How long does it take you to see through that disguise?

Tips for Living Your Best Year

Although most of the world see a new year as a time to make massive changes in their lives, it’s the daily choices that lead to lasting change. That’s why New Year’s Resolutions are so ineffectual. This year, you can start and finish strong by making better choices each day. Here are some tips for making sure this is your best year ever.

 

Break It Down — whether you want to save for a dream home, start a business or get healthier, you need to recognize it’s going to take time. Our desire for instant gratification can lead us to give up before we even really get started pursuing our goals. Chose the one big thing you want to have by the end of the year and then break down the steps you’ll need to take to make it happen. Then break them down even further. Come up with small tasks that you can complete daily in only 10-30 minutes. That will not only help you see the goal as a journey (so you don’t give up too soon), but it also makes the goal easier to tackle.

 

Track Your Time — we’re all busy. But many people use busyness as an excuse for keeping the status quo, even when they say they want to change. One simple way to find “wasted time” in your schedule is to track it. For at least three days, keep track of what you do all day long. You can use an app, spreadsheet, or a simple notepad to keep track. You’ll soon start to notice you spend more time watching TV, playing games, and checking social media than you would have thought. Once you are aware of this wasted time, chose you instead. Use that time to research career programs, enjoy a hobby, or spend more time with family. Whatever your goal is this year, choosing to spend your time working on it each day will make sure you end the year where you want to be.

 

Redesign Your Life — Most of us sleepwalk through life more often than we care to admit. If you want to live a happier, more fulfilling life, take stock of what makes you happy. What brings you joy and makes you feel alive? Now, redesign your life to make sure those things are a part of it. Look back at your time-tracking list (from above). What obligations and expectations can you modify or delete entirely, so you live a life full of joy and purpose. Make a conscious decision to choose living life to the fullest every day.

Take Stock to Start Your Year on The Right Foot

Too often we charge in when it would be better to assess where we are first. It can be painful to look back to see our mistakes and shortcomings. And yet, it’s the best way to determine what we need to do to make significant changes in our lives. Before you prepare to start the new year with loads of new resolutions and goals, take some time to reassess your life in these different areas.

 

Obligations — Ever wish you had more time for what was genuinely important to you? Now’s the time to make that change. And the first step is by looking at all the things you’ve taken on that no longer feel important. Consider each committee, sponsorship, extended family and friend obligations that no longer feel fun. If they feel like a burden, it’s time to unload them. That may feel challenging. After all, no one wants to let others down. But this is your life, and it’s time to choose you instead of others’ wants.

 

Finances — If you wish you had more money but can’t or don’t want to work more to get it, take a careful look at your finances. Quite often, little wants turn into needs. Scan through last year’s bank statements and make a note of any recurring payments. You may wince when you see how much you’ve spent on unnecessary things throughout the year. Having occasional treats for you and your family is okay. But if “shopping therapy” has become a burden, now’s the time to fix it. Make a list of all the ways you could cut back without feeling deprived. For example, could you eat out two nights a week instead of four? Is it essential that you shop for clothes every month? How much could you save if you took your lunch to work three days a week instead of getting take-out? Do you find it fun to have four bazillion TV channels? These are just a few ways you can trim expenses, so you can save for things that matter to you instead.

 

Dreams and Goals — Many people site not enough time or not enough money as the reason why they stay in dead-end jobs, don’t pursue their passions, or make real changes in their lives. If that was you and you’ve taken our advice and re-evaluated your obligations and finances, those excuses should no longer be holding you back. So, what do you want really? To go back to school and start a new career? Turn your side-hustle or hobby into a business? Purchase and cook homemade, whole foods that support your health and wellness? By choosing to make those two changes in your life, you’ve now opened up a whole new world for yourself. Grab it, and don’t look back!

 

4 Changes That Can Transform Your Year (and Your Life)

Sometimes, making changes that you want to see in your life feel nearly impossible. It takes a willingness to step outside your comfort zone to make significant changes that will transform your world. If you want to start your year out right, these subtle changes can be the beginning of a happier, healthier life.

 

Listen to Your Intuition — We like to think life is linear and rational. But more often than not, we make blind decisions based on what we know at the time. But what if you started following your intuition more often than your brain? Often, the right choice is the one we don’t fully understand at the time. Your intuition can lead you down a path you least expect, but that can change your life in exciting ways. Worry less about connecting the dots and spend more time riding the wave.

 

Understand Your Why — You want to make changes but find year after year, you have yet to make it happen. One reason for this is because you don’t understand why you want to make the change. Or you understand it, but you focus on how hard it will be to make the change. Look at the big goal you have and ask yourself why you want it. Will it free up time, make you healthier, or make retirement more comfortable? If the answer is yes, you should keep your thoughts on how much better your life will be when you’ve made the change, and then take action. Always start with your “why.”

 

Take Action — Often we humans wait until the time is right to do something meaningful. And for this reason, many of us have regrets later in life. What do you genuinely want? If you can answer that question automatically, it’s time to take action. Any action. It doesn’t have to be the “right” action. But making that first step will lead you to discover the right next steps to take that will lead you to where you want to go.

 

Stay Short-Sighted — Have you ever thought you’d like to make a significant change in your life but then thought yourself out of it? When we look too far into the future, we can get overwhelmed and end up doing nothing. Ask yourself what the first step would be to make that change. Then the next step. And the next one. Most successful people didn’t know where exactly they’d end up. They just knew they wanted to change their lives, and so they did, step by step. Don’t let the fear of the unknown future steal your happiness today by keeping you paralyzed.

 

3 Key Things to Remember as You Embrace the Journey

Every day is full of new challenges. How do you face these? 

 

If you're goal-oriented, you look for eventual success. You create a destination that solves the challenge, lays out the steps, and work to get there. This might seem successful at first glance, but it doesn't take into account what we learn along the way or how the right mindset as you go impacts the outcome in the end. 

 

Consider this: when you switch your mindset to think more about how you embrace the journey, we see the most genuine success. Let's examine why through looking at three very key truths: 

 

Life Changes Without Warning 

 

You already know this. If you're like most people, you've already had your fair share of last-minute disasters. Remember the vacation which was spoiled entirely by sickness? Or the sudden out-of-town guest who just showed up at the worst possible time? The problem with being goal-oriented is you're very rarely prepared when the unexpected happens. 

 

But if you're someone who embraces the journey, your experience is going to be very different. By living in the moment, you're more able to go with the flow. You know how to adapt and to adjust to interruption. You're also more prepared to let go of the original goal and to set a new one. This sounds a lot calmer, doesn't it?

 

It’s Easy to Miss Out 

 

There is nothing sadder than lost opportunities and failed relationships. If you're fixated on the future (which happens when goal-oriented), you aren't present in the moment. This means you might be hesitating when you discover a new opportunity, thinking you should finish the old challenge before starting anew. The problem? The new might not stick around long enough to come back to it. 

But the worse aspect of goal-oriented behavior is it becomes too easy to make sacrifices to get ahead. This usually translates to time lost with your significant other or your children. Can you live with this? 

 

You Need to Know What’s Worthwhile 

 

Here’s a hint, it’s not about your bank account. Of course, when you’re looking at the goal, you're going to fixate on outcomes, keeping score in the only way which makes sense: in power or dollars and cents. When you embrace the journey, you understand mindfulness, the joy in every moment. You know the best things are what you savor about every day. You enjoy the people around you and the new adventures. Life isn't measured in your bank account but by your happiness. 

 

Looking at these key truths, it's no wonder it's important not to lose yourself in the goal, especially when the journey gives you so much more. 

 

Confidence Leads to Influence

Becoming confident is a big step in being more influential. When you exude confidence, that will show through to others. They will have no choice but to see you as someone that has a handle on situations.

 

The good news is confidence is not something you are born with. Sure, some people naturally are confident and it is easier for them to be that way. Confidence is something that can be learned. It may take rethinking some of your beliefs but it is possible.

 

The first step towards being confident is to learn as much as you can about the situations you are in. Knowledge is power. If you have the necessary knowledge, you will be in a position to answer questions that arise. This makes you authoritative in the minds of those that are not as well versed. Few can argue with you when you have that authority.

 

Next up is to define what you want to accomplish. Know what the desired end result should be and work back from that. Many people try to wing it and go with the flow, thinking that the results will come to them naturally. While that can work once in a while, usually, it’s more effective when you know what you want right from the start.

 

After you determine what you want to accomplish, you can map out a plan in the form of goals and milestones. By breaking down the process into smaller tasks, it becomes more manageable. This will easily add to your confidence levels because those smaller tasks will be easier to complete. It’s also a great feeling each time one of those milestones are met.

 

Nothing is set in stone and there is room for change when you make up your plan. Part of confidence is knowing when something isn’t working and to have the courage to adjust. By doing this quickly, you will not lose face. In fact, when you make the decision to change you will show that you maintain the confidence needed. No one can be right 100% of the time. The key is to try not to be wishy-washy when altering your path. Be firm on why you are changing and make the decision quickly.

 

Taking the steps to becoming more confident is entirely plausible. Confidence will naturally lead to becoming more influential. It takes commitment and time. But the rewards are simply too great to ignore.

 

How to Win Friends and Influence People

You may recognize the title of this article. It is that of a book written by the late Dale Carnegie. The advice in the book remains timeless.

 

In no way is this meant to steal from the original book. This was written as a kind of review of the book and as a reminder that this book can truly serve as a life guide on how to be influential. The book spells out some common-sense techniques, yet many people fail to implement them, even after they have read the book. This is why Dale Carnegie himself, suggested using the book as a reference after the first read. It’s important to reinforce the techniques described from time-to-time.

 

If you haven’t read the book (and you should), Carnegie describes techniques that make people want to be with you. One is the simple technique of using somebody’s name. This requires that you remember the name when a person is first introduced to you. But once you know the name, be sure to use it whenever you come in contact with that person. People value their names more than you could possibly imagine. The next time someone says your name when speaking to you, pay attention to how that makes you feel. It is likely to make you feel a connection with that person on a level that you probably took for granted in the past.

 

Another technique that Carnegie describes is to pay attention to other peoples’ likes and wants. If you know somebody that is into elephants, for example, when you come across items related to elephants, make that person aware of it. Carnegie goes into much greater depth about this, but you get the general idea. Take a genuine interest in others and you will find them drawing towards you more and more.

 

The techniques described in the book really are common sense, but they work. There are several other techniques that are described which can really give you those influencing abilities you want to acquire. What’s great about his techniques is they are not difficult to incorporate into your life and yet they have a tremendous impact in how you are looked upon by others. It is almost magical at how well it works.

 

It should be noted that Carnegie wrote the book to help salespeople sell better. The book was actually a by-product of a course he developed with the same motivation. You do not need to be a salesperson to take advantage of the techniques contained in this book.