Experience Your Emotions; Don’t Be Led by Them

Jackie M Johnston once asked her audience. “Have you learned to tell the difference between “experiencing your feelings and being led by them”? The answer to this question is very individual and one each of us must ask ourselves. We cannot become holistically whole people if we don’t answer this question with an instant “yes”!

 

We cannot begin to act and think positively until we have learned to experience and deal with our feelings, without being pulled down by them. Most people are led by their “gut instincts” when making decisions. How people feel about something often dictates whether they do it or not, or enjoy doing it or not. They may even choose not to do something because of how they feel about it. 

 

The issue with this type of reaction is that it is deeply rooted in the emotions and not in logic, although logic and our feelings may lead us to the same conclusion. This is what is meant by “experiencing your feelings” Have you learned to tell the difference between “experiencing your feelings and being led by them? .Experiencing your feelings, enables you to rise above consider your feelings about something, but then logically decide what action to take. 

 

This is particularly important if have an argument with a spouse or teenage child. It is very easy to be led by feelings as the argument becomes more heated. A wise spouse or parent, on recognizing and understanding the increased feelings of frustration and anger welling up inside them, will suggest time out to give each person time and space to think and respond logically rather than emotionally.

 

Learning to differentiate between our acting on our feelings and understanding how they can help or hinder our actions and our reactions is essential to achieving positive thinking. Negative feelings can hold us hostage to ourselves and to never achieving anything in our life. We don’t feel happy or contented with what we have, so we strive for more. We feel depressed so we isolate ourselves from others or we over eat. We feel angry so we take it out on in our attitudes with our children or our spouse. 

 

As we learn to channel our negative thoughts and feelings into more positive decision-making, we are able to use them to help us choose behaviours but we don’t let them dictate our actions without first challenging them by thinking through alternative options that can affect positively on our lives and the choice we make. 

A Man's Secrets to Successful Online Dating

People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water...because it works...or, at least, it can work. Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online. All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen...and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme. That’s not only wise but vital. So what’s a nice guy to do? You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo. You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you. 

 

You must be patient. Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online. Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face. She will think you are desperate or a pervert. Patience. Patience. Patience. 

 

Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one. 

 

A picture really is worth a thousand words. Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots. If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head. 

 

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her. After all, you have nothing to hide. You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you. The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.

 

Ask the Right Questions First

OK. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. What now? How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all? You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is. It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”... but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that. 

 

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?” Listen carefully to her answers. She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general. 

 

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?” Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong. 

 

Now for the all-important one.....”What caused the break up in your last relationship?” If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution. 

 

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

 

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Most people cannot differentiate between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one. To them, as long as the two of them are together, then the relationship is still strong. As a matter of fact, many cannot tell when their relationships are on the rocks. They only get to know that the relationship was heading in the wrong direction when it is too late. All in all, there are still signs that can tell you whether or not the relationship is heading in the right direction. 

 

“Look at the bright side of life”; this is a common phrase that is used in all sectors of life. Well, in this case, it is one of the ways through which one can tell whether the relationship is healthy or not. Basically, it simply involves concentrating on the good things and ignoring all the negativity that surrounds the positivity. All the good couples tend to look at the bright side of their relationships even when nothing is going right. Take for example when one of them losses his or her job, the other will console him by telling them that the good thing is that they still got each other. This just shows how positive minded they are. Actually, this is the main characteristic of a healthy relationship. As a result, their bond will be so strong that nothing can separate them, nothing!

 

The other sign of a healthy relationship is the amount of commitment each one of them shows when it comes to matters pertaining to their relationship. Commitment is mainly defined by the amount of time and effort one puts into achieving something. The same applies in this case. Effort, money, time and even creativity; these are the main items that both of them should fully utilize to bring that spark into their relationship. Do everything within your power to make each other happy, this is the kind of spirit that will strengthen the bond between you two.

 

Finally, the character of the two individuals can tell you a lot about their relationship. A wise man once said that a relationship is like a tower, it can only be supported by two strong pillars. The main word here is ‘strong’. It two of them are independent and strong hearted, then they have got what it takes to hold the relationship. On the contrary, if one of them or all of them are not strong at heart, then be sure that what they have will not last.

 

Tips for Long Distance Relationships

There are several types of relationships especially in this recent time. They range from the normal kind of relationship to even online relationships. We have even heard of cases where people get married through the internet. It might sound absurd but it is true. However, there are certain relationships that happen not out of will but they are forced to be like they are. These are distant relationships. Such kinds of relationships have gained a lot of popularity over the years as more and more people practice them. All in all, there are particular tips that one should follow in order for them to work. 

 

To start with, it is vital that the two of you plan just how you expect things to run in your relationship. Some of you might claim that this is next to impossible due to the distance. On the contrary, it is more than possible. All it needs is for both of you to sacrifice some time and money and sit down and discuss.

 

This does not necessarily mean that you meet in person; technology has made the world a smaller place. There are several modes of communication that the two of you can use the most convenient ones being Skype or a telephone. Discuss on matters such as the insecurities you face, your sexual desires and ways through which the two of you can help the relationship thrive. Do this as often as possible and you will be amazed at how tasty your relationship will be despite the distance. 

 

On the other hand, the two of you should generally keep in touch. It should not be necessarily that you are discussing something, just check on each other. Use emails, text messages, phones, mail, web cameras or even social sites. You can also decide to chat every three days a week via Skype and catch up on what has been going on in each one’s life. You can even go to an extent of sending each other videos of the last basketball game you went to alone or something of the sort. Just make sure that the two of you remain in touch. This will ensure that you do not feel separated. The two of you will always feel like the other is right beside them and the bond will be stronger than ever. Finally, think of ways to do romantic stuff despite the distance. Creativity might come in handy.

Tips on Creating Blissful New Relationships

Everyone in the face of this world needs love. We have heard of many who have done a lot of extreme deeds all in an effort to feel loved. This just shows how much all of us need to be loved. This is why many make a sigh of relief once they find someone to build a relationship with. As a matter of fact, many relationships are always full of promise with each partner wondering if that is the one special person that they were waiting for all along. But many hardly believe so, mostly due to the horrible past love experience that they have been through. Others might have just started their relationships phase of life and are full of fear and without experience. Whichever the case, it is still possible to create pleasurable new relationships. All you have to do is follow a couple of tips.

 

First and foremost, show commitment. The fate of a relationship depends on the choices and actions both partners take in the relationship. It does not matter whether it is in its initial stages or it has lasted for long, all that matters is the manner in which both of you treat the relationship. Therefore, it is vital that each partner shows his or her intentions of totally committing to the relationship as early as at the onset of the relationship. This way, the relationship grows stronger and stronger day by day and within no time, you will find that the two of you are inseparable.

 

Secondly, intimacy is a must for a relationship to blossom. It is important for the two of you get intimate in the initial stages of the relationship. This way, the two of you will form a strong bond as early as at the onset of the relationship. I know most of you have particular beliefs or principles that are not in line with such behaviour. All in all, the fact still remains; intimacy is a musty. Relax and enjoy the real deal on life. However, do not let this take over your relationship. Too much of anything is poisonous. 

 

Finally, come into the new relationship with a mentality that this is the partner that you will spend the rest of your life with. Think of the relationship as something that will last forever and give it the seriousness that it deserves. Respect your partner and see him or her as one who plays a major role in your life. Take them for who they are and respect them.

 

How Important Personality Check Is When Hiring a Personal Assistant

If you are the owner of a company or business, you get to a point where you need a personal assistant for your business, because you cannot handle the growth alone. This personal assistant may not be your business partner per say, but the influence he or she may have on the business is more or less like that of a partner in the business. This means that a personal assistant can either take your business to new heights or ruin it all together. 

 

The duties of a personal assistant should act as a guideline that should tell you what kind of a person you should expect. The work of a personal assistant demands a high degree of flexibility because it is at times hard to predict the hours in which there is going to be work. It may at times take the personal assistant to work on a weekend or a holiday. The personality of the personal assistant should therefore be that of being easy going as opposed to the one who is too serious and rigid. 

 

The personal assistant should also be able to do more than one thing at the same time, because his or her job is more than that of your secretary and accountant. The personal assistant should have a personality that is out going. A reserved person is not the best for this job. The personal assistant should be able to freely interact with new people and should easily break the ice in tense situations. The business world is not static, and new things and strategies come up every day. 

 

Therefore, the personal assistant should be someone who has an open mind and who learns new things quite easily. Also, the personal assistant should be self-motivated. This will enable him or her to work under minimum supervision, and he or she will also be innovative even in your absence. 

 

Since the personal assistant is a mimic of a business partner, leadership qualities are a must have. The personal assistant should be someone who can delegate duties and who can take charge of situations when you are not there. Leadership qualities go hand in hand with organization. 

 

Also, it is paramount that the personal assistant be very confident. In as much as he or she should identify with the needs of others, there are times when he or she will have to put the foot down and make a final decision regardless of what others think.

 

How to Know the Real You

To a very large extent knowing yourself requires you to understand aspirations both physical, the spiritual values, the emotional values and even understanding of the spiritual and knowing how you can attain all these life requirements. If you come to an understanding of all these aspects of life, then you are on the path to self-discovery. This is what brings lifelong peace in our lives, making it a joyful life and you will be contented in all aspects. 

 

We all at one point in our lives get knowledge, develop our talent and skills that in one way or another make our lives comfortable. In spite of all these we stand ignorant about what we need spiritually. We tend to ignore the spiritual bit of life which is always hidden though it is of great essence. This can largely be attributed to the reason of our unhappy and disturbed life.

 

The first step to self-discovery is by having a look at the needs of the soul and try feeling its need. We need to come to terms with the fact that self is not the physical body that we are seeing each and every day. It is but the inner us comprising of our soul. Since time immemorial we have always been told of our soul being immortal and it tends to pass from body to body.

 

Always remain in connection with yourself by trying to draw attention to what lies on the external. Avoid distractions from the outside. On a number of occasions we tend to focus our attention to meeting of external desires which to a large extent are insatiable. Satisfaction of one leads to the coming of another. Our lives are deeply engrossed to our lives, we are always busy with the hustles and bustles of life and at the end of the dour we remain malnourished from the inside. Our soul is starved. 

 

Consider taking time to meditate. This practice can make us come to terms with our true essence. It can bring light to our real self. Ensure that you are always connected the soul by simply drawing away from external and material desires.

 

Another way to self-realization is having contentment in life. When we are contented we tend to get some time to or have an ample time to have a deep insight in to our lives. We drift our attention and start focusing on such aspects like love, honesty and life sacrifices. We become contented by having love with others. When we start sacrificing ourselves for others, sharing other people’s worries and anxieties and having them as our own.

 

How to Use Your Personality to Choose the Best Career

There are many ways in which personality types are classified, and one interesting classification is that of colors. The color classifications include yellow, blue, green and red types. It is very important to know what color type you are so that you will make the best choice in career. 

 

If you are a yellow, you are that kind of a person that puts others before you and you care about the feelings of other people first. You are a person who is very caring, understanding and patient. You are a home maker, and you are great with kids. Therefore, the best careers include nursing, community resource and teaching. Do not go into technical careers such as engineering or aggressive ones like sales and marketing, because you will waste your personality. 

 

If you are a green type, you love working with figures and actuality, and not with fiction. You do not make rush decisions and you love analyzing a situation before making a final decision or conclusion. You also do not give up easily, and you can push for something until it succeeds. 

 

When you get results, you do not stop at it; you confirm and reconfirm and you take no chances. You love gathering information that will give you enough confidence and surety in the decisions you make. If this is you, consider being an accountant or an engineer. Also, computer programming and other factual sciences will do for you. 

 

You love fun, you love life and you cannot withstand a life that does not seem to have any motion in it. You have nothing to do with the facts that the greens use, and you love adventure. You love making new friends and you love going for trips. You do more than multitasking, and you can hardly concentrate on one thing to the end. Creativity is your second name. this puts you into the blue group. The best career choices for you are those that involve people and not machines – sales, network marketing, public speaking and media (radio and entertainment). 

 

If your main motivation is money and you love getting solutions, you are a red. If you are this kind of a person, then you are much focused and you rarely lose control. You love handling one thing at a time with perfection. You cannot be contained in an activity that does not bring in big money. You fly with eagles, not with chicken. You can be the best CEO ever, and you should go for it. Also, you can make a good pilot, doctor, lawyer and judge.