5 Tips for Helping You to Unwind when Worried

Some days we’d rather not go through. Let's face it, we all go through times of intense stress and worry. The idea of unwinding at all in these circumstances can feel impossible. At the same time, it's these bad days where we need to unwind more than ever.

 

With this in mind, let’s take a look at several tips designed to help you unwind even when you’re worried.

 

Start By Getting Back into the Moment

 

A lot of what we're doing when we're worrying is living in the future. We're caught in a world of 'what if' and speculation. This is why it's crucial to get back into the here and now. Mindfulness or meditation can help you focus on where you are right now. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Don't allow thoughts to intrude. Instead, allow yourself to drift, thinking about what you hear or smell. It doesn't have to take long. Even a few minutes of mindfulness will help you to unwind significantly.

 

Are You Being Reasonable?

 

What are you worried about most often? Is this a reasonable worry? Sometimes all we need to unwind is a quick reality check. You might be overthinking things. If you're not sure if you see the situation clearly, this might be a good time to talk to someone else about what's going on. Do they see things the same way? 

 

Let Go

 

There are some things you’re not going to be able to change about what’s going on right now. Remind yourself whatever is happening is just another piece of this particular segment of your life. You will get through it. You'll find it easier to relax if you can release what is out of your control.

 

Forget the Fortune-Teller

 

Sometimes when we’re worried, we’re falling into the trap of thinking things are very black and white. Generally speaking, things are seldom as bad as we imagine them to be. Take a deep breath and let the situation unfold as it will without trying to predict the future. 

 

What Are You Telling Yourself?

 

Sometimes we get in the habit of seeking out the negative, especially when it comes to ourselves. Could it be you're worried about something which isn't even true? Consider the words you use when talking to yourself. If you’re using more negative than positive phrasing, start changing the dialogue to more positive statements. It’s a lot easier to unwind when you’re not beating yourself up all the time.

 

While these tips might not necessarily solve the crisis in your life, they'll help you to put even difficult times into a better perspective, allowing you to at least take some time to breathe and figure out the next steps. Truly, you've got this!

Fear-Based Motivation

Fear can be an effective catalyst for motivation. For example, if your boss tells you to get your project done on time or you will lose your job, you can be sure you’re going to do everything in your power to get that project done. You may resent your boss for doing this, but you are probably going to do as he or she wishes unless you are looking to get fired.

 

Another situation where fear will motivate you is when something crucial breaks in your home. It could be the furnace giving out in the middle of winter. You are at a point where you have no choice but to call for expensive repairs. If you don’t, you’ll risk the pipes freezing and being uncomfortable.

 

We all have a certain amount of fear-based motivation. But, is it the best way to get people to do things? In the case of the furnace, you’ll have no choice and have to chalk it up to being a part of life. But, in the case of your boss harping on to you, is there a better way for him or her to handle the situation? Can you continually work in an environment based on that kind of fear?

 

It’s questionable whether motivation based on fear is sustainable. If you are an employee and there aren’t many jobs available as alternatives, you may feel like you have no choice but to comply. But, sometimes, this kind of negative working environment gets people more motivated to get out of the situation. In other words, the motivation tactics may work in the short-term, but eventually, employers may experience a high turnover when those employees recognize there are other choices. The internet is a great equalizer in this regard as more people can choose to freelance on their terms.

 

There’s an old saying about how you catch more flies with honey. If managers would recognize they would get more loyalty out of people by offering incentives rather than scare tactics to get their employees to do the work, maybe turnover wouldn’t be so high. Unfortunately, these managers don’t learn this until it’s too late. And even then, will they make any changes? Often, they make the justification that it’s the employee’s fault and they decided to leave.

 

Think about the impact you have if you are a manager trying to motivate your employees. If you have used fear as a motivator, is it something that has worked for you in the long-term? Or, did you simply set an environment where people couldn’t wait to get away?

5 Ways to Remain Self-Motivated After a Setback

You did it! You figured out how to be self-motivated. It was no small feat, but now you’re done…right? 

 

Not so fast. Just because you learned how to be motivated from within doesn’t mean the chase is over, and you’ve won the game. 

 

Just as life has its ebbs and flows, people have their own ups and downs. You may have a setback (or two or three), and in that case, you have no idea how your mindset could change. 

 

That may sound daunting, but it’s important to be realistic. If you’ve gotten this far as a self-motivated individual, you’ve likely had to be realistic with yourself in the past. It’s not game over – you’ve just started a new level, a new phase of life that you’ll have to conquer. Check out these 5 ways to keep up the self-motivation after facing a setback. 

 

1. Redefine Your Approach

 

If you did the same things for your entire life and never made changes to your approaches, you probably wouldn’t make much progress. When you feel like you hit a roadblock, view it as a chance to figure out a new way around it. 

 

2. Spend Time with People Who Make You Feel Good

 

Not everyone makes you feel great. Whether it’s a personality conflict or someone who brings you down, if you feel like you’re leaving a social situation with more negative feelings than positive ones, it might be a good idea to check out of it altogether. Those people definitely won’t lift you up and help you get back on your feet. 

 

3. Give Yourself Some TLC

 

The first thing you may do when you experience a setback is to get angry with yourself. You may turn from self-motivated mode to self-deprecation mode in a matter of moments. Don’t do that! Instead, remind yourself of all the great things you’ve done – all of your accomplishments and wonderful qualities. Give yourself a designated period of self-care, because as soon as you beat yourself up about something, it’ll be much harder to get those inspiration levels back up later. 

 

4. Reward Yourself at Least Once Daily

 

While you’re indulging in self-care, be sure to do at least one positive, uplifting thing daily. That doesn’t mean finishing a pint of ice cream or staying in bed all day. It means you should do something productive that makes you happy. Try taking a walk outside or cooking a healthy, delicious meal. Maybe you’d like to try out a new hobby or start going to the gym. 

 

5. Let the Past be the Past

 

It’s called the past for a reason. You could spend hours thinking about what happened before your setback and how you could have changed it. Hindsight is 20/20, so the only thing that will happen here is it will make you feel worse. Be confident in your decisions, and don’t look back. 

 

How A Gratitude Mindset Can Help You Reach your Goals

When we have a long-term goal we are working towards, it’s easy to be so focused on it that we start to believe we won’t be happy until we reach it. It’s important to have long-term goals, but not at the expense of your daily life. Staying in a place of gratitude for what you already have and what you’ve already achieved in your life can be a huge benefit in reaching your goals. 

 

Gratitude Makes You Happier

 

Neurologists have learned that feelings of gratitude actually change the way your brain works. When you are consciously aware of all the wonderful things in your life, you are happier and more content. When you are happy and feeling good about your life, it’s easier to believe that more good things await you down the road.

 

Gratitude Lowers Stress

 

A life filled with the struggle to always be better will lead to a life of stress. Yes, you want to reach your goals. You want to unlock all the potential that’s inside you. But finding a way to balance this desire with gratitude for what you’ve already accomplished and what you have in your life today is also important. When constantly pushing yourself forward, it’s easy to believe you aren’t good enough today. Focusing on what you have to be grateful for today lowers your stress level and helps you enjoy the journey to your ultimate goal.

 

Gratitude Makes You More Optimistic

 

Believing the grass is always greener on the other side is a sure way to ensure your dissatisfaction with life. It makes you feel like you may never get the life you want. This pessimism just makes everything in life harder. You may even just give up on your dreams because you don’t believe you can attain them. Keeping a grateful mindset offers you a way to enjoy life now and look forward to the future, once your goals have been realized.

 

Obtaining a grateful spirit doesn’t take a lot of time and effort, but it makes a huge difference in your life. Start by keeping a small notebook with you or using an app on your phone to note the little things that happen throughout your day that you are grateful for. Some people prefer to keep a gratitude journal by their bed and add a short list of things that they are grateful for that day. Give it a try if you feel you’ve been too focused on a goal and it’s making you unappreciative for what you already have.

 

5 Places to Find Friends as an Adult

When did everything get so hard? 

 

Somewhere along the way, we grew up. Life started getting bogged down with responsibilities and plans for the future. While much of this is exciting, what happens all too often as we start laying aside our childhood, is we unintentionally put aside our innate ability to make friends easily.

 

Don’t believe me? Think back to when a trip to the playground ended in a ‘new best friend’ after about 20 minutes of sharing the swings with a stranger. Now ask yourself, when is the last time you connected that quickly with someone new?

 

The problem is, adult friendships are crucial, not just to our mental well-being, but to our physical health as well. It’s been proven that having friends leads to less stress, less chance of heart disease, and longer life.

 

But where do we find these new friends? 

 

Try an App

 

Hey!VINA works much like a dating app, but with one very significant difference. Here the goal is to find someone with like interests you may want to befriend. A quick swipe of your finger starts a conversation, leading to a connection and eventually, friendship.

 

Try a Meetup

 

Looking for some fun group activities in your area? Meetup.com is easy to use on your computer, tablet, or phone. Here you search for events of interest to you. You’re then presented with a variety of groups who like to engage in those activities, giving yourself a chance to meet several interesting people at once.

 

Learn Something

 

Signing up for a class allows you to indulge in a new interest at the same time as meeting someone new. Always wanted to cook gourmet dinners? Been thinking about taking flying lessons? Whatever interests you, this is a surefire way to meet new people.

 

Grab a Book

 

Your local library or independent bookstore is a great place to indulge a love of reading while at the same time, getting to know someone new. Book clubs stimulate you intellectually and introduce you to people in the community who share a love for the written word.

 

Take a Walk with a Furry Friend

 

If you have a dog, why not explore more than your own backyard? By taking Fido to your local dog park, you’ll have an opportunity to meet other dog lovers, while at the same time, giving your faithful friend a chance for a little puppy socialization. This is a win all around!

 

Meeting people doesn’t have to be complicated. Opportunities truly are everywhere. So be bold and try something new. You’ll be glad you did!

 

5 Reasons Why Adult Friendships are so Important

Why is it we never put enough emphasis on the important things in life? Are we really that busy?

 

Sadly, we tell ourselves precisely that. In fact, studies have shown we’re not taking the time for friends like we used to. According to a survey taken in the 1980s, the average adult had a minimum of three friends they were close to. Thirty years later, the same study came out with some chilling news. As many as one in four people claim to have no friends at all.

 

Why is it we don’t enjoy adult friendships? Could it be we’ve somehow gotten the idea they’re really not necessary? This is absolutely not the case. In fact, below, you will find five reasons why adult friends are crucial to your life and your good health. 

 

Friends Give Necessary Support

 

We’re not meant to go it alone. We need friends to act as everything from cheerleaders to a shoulder to cry on. 

 

Friends Teach Us How to Act

 

How do we conduct ourselves? If you’re socially awkward, it might be because no one taught you specific social skills critical to success. Friends are where we learn those skills. It’s with friends that we practice, finding out both what’s acceptable and what’s not. What’s more, friends help us get out of the ruts we fall into and challenge us to try social situations we might not otherwise consider.

 

Friends Give Us a Reality Check

 

Who else but a friend is going to tell you when you’re lying to yourself or wandering down the wrong path entirely? This kind of tough love is what keeps us from disaster and guides us away from the pitfalls of life.

 

Couple Friendships Guide Our Own Relationships

 

Not everyone was blessed with parents who modeled good relationship skills. Having “couple friends” is where we form our impressions of how couples in romantic relationships interact. It’s from these relationships we learn how to balance things like work and romance and how to handle the parenting component. Being able to talk to other couples about challenges unique to this kind of relationship also gives a much-needed place to learn.

 

Friendships are Good for Your Health

 

Studies have shown people who sustain healthy friendships live longer and enjoy a better quality of life. People who regularly spend time with friends are shown to adopt healthier lifestyles, experience fewer physical ailments such as heart disease, and have fewer issues with dementia as they age.

 

In short, adult friendships are an important part of your life and worth exploring. Now is not the time to hold back. Get out there, meet people, and discover all that life has to offer. Making time for friendships should be a priority for all adults.

 

6 Tips for Making Friends as an Adult

Who are your friends?

 

A recent survey has determined you might not have a lot of close relationships in your life. In fact, the number of people who claim to have more than three solid friendships in their lives is only 37% or one-third of the population. Even more discouraging is the idea that fully 27% of adults say they have no close relationships at all.

 

Making friends as an adult is a daunting idea. For one thing, we’re swamped. We get caught up on our personal responsibilities and business goals that frequently we don’t make time for a social life outside of loose connections with our children’s friends’ parents and professional networking. Who has the time?

 

Thankfully, you do. It actually takes less time than you think to discover the joy of adult friendships. You can start with these simple tips:

 

Start with the Old

 

Why reinvent the wheel? Instead, ask yourself who your friends used to be. Is it possible you can rekindle some old friendships? In this era of social media, tracking down your best friend from high school is easier than ever. Why not shoot someone a quick message or text to open up the conversation all over again?

 

Become a Listener

 

When in groups of new people, rather than working hard to be the life of the party, why not take a step back? Making a point to actively listen to people makes you more attractive to those around you (everyone loves a listener) and puts you in the position of discovering the things which intrigue you most about the others. It’s a simple way to learn about shared interests, so you can strike up a friendship.

 

Take it to the Next Level

 

Have acquaintances but aren’t quite ready to call them friends yet? Try opening up a little. Being vulnerable forges intimacy with others and deepens the friendship, taking it to the next level. 

 

Stay in Touch

 

Worried about how to hang onto the friends you have? If you want to keep people from falling off the radar and becoming distant, make a point to check in with them once in a while. Send a text, make a call, set up a chance to get together. By checking in, you’re telling the other person they’re important to you and worth your time. A general rule of thumb? Connect about every two weeks.

 

Make a Group

 

Even better? Start putting your friends together in one place by creating a group of friends. There’s nothing more fun than hanging out in a gathering of people who enjoy each other’s company. Start simple, with a lunch date or drinks after work.

4 Positive Benefits to Trying New Things

What does it mean to try something new? For some, it may mean learning a new sport. For others, it could be trying a new food. Whatever it means to you, the principle is the same for everyone: Trying new things opens your world, eyes, and heart to new possibilities, and that’s a great thing. That’s the overarching benefit of trying new things, but here are four other specific benefits. 

 

1. Growth Comes from New 

 

When you step out of your comfort zone and into the wilderness of the unknown, a crazy thing happens. You learn and grow as an individual. It may not always be easy or comfortable, but it certainly will expand your mind and make you aware of the possibilities life has to offer – whether that be something thematic like your personality or something smaller like picking up a pair of rollerblades. 

 

2. Courage Boost

 

Courage is defined as the ability to do something that frightens you. Chances are, you may be a little frightened by the idea of trying something new – and that’s perfectly okay! It will boost your courage and gear you up with the confidence you need to tackle new things in the future. 

 

3. Rid Your Life of Boredom 

 

Most people don’t like to be bored. You may enjoy quiet time or relaxation breaks but being bored is a totally different story. The good news is it’s pretty hard to be bored when you’re always mixing up your life with new adventures and happenings. The next time you feel a twinge of tedium tugging at you, try something new. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll get rid of the dull feeling! 

 

4. Not Only Try but Enjoy 

 

Trying something new doesn’t mean a quick experiment and washing your hands of the adventure right afterward. Trying something new is a whole adventure, and it should be enjoyed. Some things are hit or miss. You may not love everything you try, but you’ll undoubtedly find some activities, people, or interests that you never knew you could enjoy. 

 

The next time someone invites you to do something a little different, you may want to consider saying yes. After all, the worst-case scenario is that you learn you don’t like it – and that’s not so bad, is it? Go for the gold! Try it out and see what you can learn about yourself. 

 

7 New Things to Try That Will Add Excitement to Your Life

Every year on January 1, millions of people around the globe are using a special word that is big in meaning, small in size, and severely underappreciated. That word is new. We say “Happy New Year,” and we declare our “new” goals for the year, but somewhere along the lines, “new” gets lost in translation. When you’re ready to embark on a quest to find the new, here are some things to try. 

1. Blogging

 

Writing may not be your X factor, but everyone has a story to tell. In your spare time, try out a blog to document what’s going on in your life. You can make it specific to your interests or your career, or you could keep it wide open for whatever thoughts dance through your mind. 

 

2. Cooking 

 

Cooking gets a bad rap for being time-consuming, messy, and demanding. We may not all be a whiz in the kitchen, but every once and a while, it’s fun to create a big meal for yourself (or your friends and family). 

 

3. Dance Lessons 

 

It’s always a good idea to get your body moving when you can, and it’s an even better idea to move your body to music! When you’re itching to do something new, try out a new form of dance. It’s creative and active at the same time – win-win! 

 

4. Gardening 

 

The best part about having your own garden is eating the food. Pair that with your cooking endeavor, and you’re set! The only caveat with gardening is that you have to have enough space for one. But if you do, it’s well worth it to start growing your own fruits, veggies, and herbs. 

 

5. Hiking 

 

Depending on where you live, mountains may be fully accessible to you. If that’s the case, you should take advantage of it by going on hikes regularly. It gets your blood pumping and gives you all kinds of beautiful sights to see. 

 

6. Learn a New Language 

 

Spare time should never become wasted time. You know that language you were always dying to learn? Seize this extra time as the perfect opportunity to start practicing. You’ll be a linguist before you know it! 

 

7. Meditation 

 

At first glance, meditation may seem like the opposite of exciting. It’s calm, soothing, and super quiet. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be exciting, too! Meditation is an art and a historically backed practice. Try it out for five minutes a day and see how you like it.