Picking Yourself Up After Failure

There is nothing worse than the creeping dread of failure. It doesn’t matter whether you failed in a relationship, missed out on a promotion, bombed an interview or simply missed a major deadline. Sometimes, it feels as though it’s the end of the world. It’s not, no matter how much you feel as though it is. And its easy to fall victim to the failure and fall into a dark hole of depressions. The most important step you can take after experiencing failure is to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. 

 

How? 

 

How can you possibly begin to pick yourself up after failure? 

 

Take Time For Healing

 

You won’t get over failure in a day, it’s quite literally a heartbreak. It’s okay if you don’t feel cheerful for a minute. You should allow yourself time to heal from your failure. You will reach a point where you realize the sting has worn off. 

 

Remember This

 

Without failure, there can be no success. If you desire success, then you have to come to terms with the fact that you will fail. Multiple times. It will take numerous attempts to achieve success. This is something you will need to remind yourself of regularly. When you run into a brick wall and feel as though you can’t overcome an obstacle, remember that without failure there can be no success. If that scares you, then remember this – it’s that or you live your life littered with what ifs. 

 

Failure is a lesson; it isn’t digging your grave. The only way to avoid it is to do nothing at all. It doesn’t bear thinking about. 

 

Learn the Lesson

 

The wisest thing that you can do after a failure is learn. You shouldn’t view failure as an excuse to quit. It should serve as your motivation to go again and avoid making the same mistakes. If you’ve ever played a video game, then you will know how you regenerate at a checkpoint and start the task again. That’s how you should view failure. You didn’t die, you’re simply back to square one. It’s frustrating, but you’re down, not out. Now, you can repeat your attempt, but now you have more knowledge and insight into how best to approach it. 

 

Accept Your Mistakes

 

You can’t afford to dwell on your mistakes. What you have to do is accept them. You’re going to want to beat yourself up about it, but that is essentially dwelling on it. Instead, you must accept that mistakes happen, failure will occur, and it’s part of what will shape your success. 

 

Opportunity for Growth

 

This is a chance for growth so, put a positive spin on that failure. It’s your opportunity to re-evaluate your situation and look for new opportunities. 

 

From Mistakes to Mastery

 

When you learn to accept your mistakes, you are unlocking the door to mastery. You are moving from mistakes to mastery. You’re learning more about your craft. 

 

Your Next Steps

 

Once you experience failure, you must determine your next steps. You can steer yourself to success when you are proactive. Make decisions and put them into action.

 

You aren’t the first person in the world to fail. You’re not the only person in your inner circle to fail. As much as it may feel as though the world is against you, it’s not. It’s easier to motivate yourself to move forward when you recognize that you’re not alone. It’s normal and even the most successful people in history (and in the present) have experienced failure. They didn’t let it hold them back, why would you? 

 

Stop Denying Yourself What You Are Capable Of Achieving

Have you achieved what you’d like to from your life thus far?

 

Probably not. 

 

Why?

 

Fear. Concern. Stress. Worry. 

 

We worry about the path we will have to walk in order to achieve what we want. We imagine all of the worst-case scenarios and how it can all go wrong. You can’t stop making decisions, though. So, you either make your choices from a place of love or you do so out of fear. The latter leaves you walking a path of denial. You are denying yourself what you are capable of achieving. When what you want seems so far away, it seems ridiculous to expect it so with it out of reach you dismiss it. You choose what is safe. You choose what is comfortable. 

 

We are all capable of undermining ourselves. It’s something that many of us do unconsciously, subconscious self-sabotage. There are two incredibly important questions that you need to ask yourself. How? Why? How will you get what you really want to achieve? Why do you want it?

 

There are four common reasons why we place limitations on ourselves, and it’s typically one of these four things that is causing you to deny yourself. 

 

1. Self-Hatred

 

There is a part of you that is actively against you. This is literally your greatest enemy. It’s the critical voice in your head, the one that denies you, that sends you negative messages. The other half of you is struggling with the critical side, it’s trying to push forward, but your anti-self is trying to drag you back down and put you back in your place. Our early experiences in life help shape this voice and that may help you explain why yours is the way it is. Your environment also plays a role. If you were lonely, unhappy, and felt uncomfortable, then this will play a part in shaping how you talk to yourself now. 

 

Are you denying yourself because you don’t believe that you deserve more than what you have now?

 

2. Fear

 

This is one of the most common reasons we deny ourselves. We hold ourselves back because we are afraid of change, we are afraid of failure, afraid that our anti-self will succeed in rising against us. Rejection doesn’t feel good. Failure sucks. However, you are far more resilient than you believe you are. The same voice whispering in your ear telling you that aren’t capable is the voice that is feeding your fear. The reality of life is that it is painful and it is joyful. The more you live and love, the more likely you are to experience the pain. When you deny yourself from pursuing what you’re capable of achieving, you’re robbing yourself of joy.

 

3. Rigidity

 

Holding a negative self-image of yourself is destructive. Sadly, we rarely challenge that negative view of ourselves because we’re used to it. Since it’s familiar, it’s “comfortable”. You make the rules based on those lies and you start to believe that you’re protecting yourself. Did you get shouted at a lot as a child if you got too loud? Keeping quiet prevented that shouting. Yet, if you act timidly as an adult, you are denying yourself opportunities. Did you lose your temper in a bid to get attention from your parents? It worked then, but doing that in an adult relationship will push people away. We form defenses as a way to protect ourselves, but they don’t translate from childhood to adulthood. We have to adapt and move forward. 

 

4. Comfort

 

Your anti-self wants to trap you in a box, simply because it’s comfortable. It’s easier. At least, it feels easier, but is it really? Is it easier if you are forcing yourself to live in a world where you don’t achieve what you’re truly capable of achieving? You have to shut out your anti-self and nurture your true inner voice, the one that whispers sweet nothings in your ear and encourages you to stop denying yourself what you are capable of achieving.

 

Stop Following And Become A Leader

The world needs both followers and leaders. Being a leader, however, is often more lucrative and more rewarding.

 

But, how can one become a leader? Depending on your situation, getting into a leadership position might not be that difficult. Becoming a good leader, however, takes time and experience. This article can’t replicate that time and experience, but it can help to get you started.

 

Know The Requirements For The Next Promotion

 

The first step to getting a leadership position is finding a job with good upward mobility and keeping an eye out for opportunities. Some jobs only let you move so high without different experience or higher education.

 

Once you take a job, knowing the next step up and what the requirements are can help you to work toward that next step up by showing that you have the required skills or learning the required skills. Becoming a part time or online student to get any required or preferred degrees can help too.

 

Let The Boss Know You’re Interested

 

Initiative is a huge part of leadership. Letting your supervisor know that you are interested in taking on a leadership position – even before one becomes available – will let your supervisor know that you have initiative. 

 

Of course, being a leader also requires patience and hard work, so don’t quit the job if a leadership position doesn’t immediately become available. In addition to undoing all of the time and effort that you have put in at your current job, it may suggest to your next employer that you don’t have patience and tenacity.

 

Take On More Responsibility

 

Leadership also means responsibility. Taking on more responsibility before taking on a leadership position can help you in a number of ways. For one thing, it will show your supervisor that you are willing and able to take on more responsibility. It will also help you to get used to a greater level of responsibility so that when you end up in a leadership position you will know the ropes and know what it takes to work them.

 

It’s important, however, not to take on too many responsibilities too quickly. Taking on more responsibility will only impress the boss if you are able to handle it. Besides, being a leader also takes restraint and passing up an opportunity because you can admit that you aren’t ready for it is a wise and respectable move.

 

Find A Mentor

 

Taking on responsibility, showing initiative, all of these things are ways to both demonstrate that are interested in and prepared for a leadership position, as well as to get on the boss’s good side.

 

If you and the boss are on good terms, and the boss knows that you are looking to – let's be honest—take his or her job, you may be able to arrange a mentorship. Mentorships are great ways to learn the ropes from someone who’s handled them.

Mentorships are also helpful for your supervisor. Look at it this way: your boss is probably looking for their next promotion too. Once they get it, they’re going to need someone to fill their shoes. If that person isn’t ready for the job, it’ll be your boss who has to deal with it. 

 

As a result, it’s in your boss’s best interest to have someone ready to take their job when they go on to bigger and better things.

 

Don’t try to rush into a mentorship too soon, however. Mentorships are all about trust. After all, a crooked mentor could take advantage of all of your time end energy to lighten their load without actually intending to help you. Similarly, you could take advantage of all of their time and energy to put those skills to work at a different job.

 

Most of us want to stop following and become a leader. The best way to become a good leader, however, is to take advantage of all of the opportunities to learn and grow that following represents. Keep an eye open for the next opportunity at a leadership position, but don’t take your time as a follower for granted.

 

Stop Limiting Yourself

Do you feel like something is holding you back? 

 

Does it feel like something is limiting you, keeping you from your ideal life and best self? 

 

Could that something be you?

 

We all can have a tendency to hold ourselves back and limit ourselves from our full potential and ideal life. There are a couple of reasons why this could happen: fear, comfort, the list goes on and on. In this article, we’re going to help you stop limiting yourself, push past it, and succeed!

 

What do you want?

 

The first step in finally stopping limiting yourself is to list out what you want. You can’t ever expect to stop limiting yourself or to get what you want out of life if you don’t make it clear to yourself what it is you want.

 

In order to manifest what you want into reality, you have to know what you want and think about your goals regularly. When making your “want” list, focus and think long and hard. The goals on this list should be clear and concise, achievable, and things you actually want out of life.

 

Don’t psych yourself out

 

The mind is a powerful, powerful thing. If you’ve already been having trouble limiting yourself, you’re familiar with your mind’s ability to psych you out. Don’t let it talk you out of what you truly want in life. 

 

Push past your fears and your holdbacks. You’re capable of accomplishing anything you put your mind to and achieving anything you want in life. If you find this part a struggle, try telling yourself just how capable you are. Repeat to yourself that nothing can keep you from achieving your goals.

 

Step outside your comfort zone

 

A big part of stopping limiting yourself is stepping outside of your comfort zone. This is how you push past the fear that’s been holding you back. You have to keep yourself taking risks and pushing outside what makes you comfortable.

 

Staying in your comfort zone is a big part of what causes you to stagnate and limit yourself. There is never a limit you set yourself that you can’t push past. The only thing holding you back from your ideal life is you.

 

Track your progress

 

One of the best ways to ensure you keep trying to reach your goals and refusing to be limited is by tracking your progress. A little positive reinforcement will help you stay positive about your goal and seeing your progress will help to keep you motivated.

 

You’ve worked hard to stop the habit of limiting yourself, you deserve to reward yourself. Monitoring yourself and your progress will help to keep you on track to reach your goals, drive your motivation, and encourage you to keep at it.

 

Take what you want

 

The last step in stopping limiting yourself is to start taking what you want. You’ve worked hard to overcome your struggle with limiting yourself, now it’s time to actually take what you want. Be confident and assert yourself in the workplace. Seize new opportunities and take risks to further yourself and get the life you desire.

 

 

If you’ve found yourself to be limited or held back, it may be time for some self-reflection. Are you holding yourself back? Are you limiting yourself from achieving what you want in life? We hope this article has helped guide you in ending this habit once and for all and get what you want out of life.

 

Can’t get enough? Here are some other things you can research to help better yourself:

 

• Manifestation

• Improving self-esteem and confidence

• Staying focused and reaching your goals

• How to be the best version of yourself

 

The Limitless Possibilities When You Believe In Yourself

Every one of us is a wealth of limitless potential. 

 

Do you believe that to be true?

 

Somewhere between 50,000 and 2 million years ago (experts aren’t exact on this because the spoken work didn’t leave a paper trail), humans started to use language. Those beings on the front line couldn’t have imagined how language would evolve over the years. It’s potential was limitless. We use language to make music, to express our emotions through poetry and prose. To communicate with the people in the world around us. Then, there’s the comedy – from fun rhymes to puns to standard jokes. It’s beautiful and it’s an integral aspect of life as we know it. 

 

Some 5,000 years ago, humans started a written language system. It’s not something that everyone could do or was doing, but it began. For some, the idea of learning how to write would have sounded ludicrous. That’s something for highly intelligent people, not for just anyone. 

 

The Cycle of Success

 

That cycle has continued throughout the history of humanity. Someone unlocks something incredible and others don’t believe they have the potential to share in it. Yet, look at us now. The same thought process followed science, math, and even business. The truth is, everyone is capable. Right now, there are people out there living a normal life, completely unaware that they are a wealth of untapped potential. You could be a math genius; your child might be a music prodigy. All you need is the belief that it’s possible. 

 

Belief. More importantly, self-belief. Highly successful people have it and when you do, you recognize that the possibilities in life are limitless. With just a bit of coaching, a push for more knowledge or better training, think of what you could do. Typically, successful people believe in brilliance, not just their own, but that of others as well. This belief empowers them to develop brilliance in others and tap into their own hidden potential. They have successfully dismissed the limiting belief that they are limited in their abilities. Instead, they believe and recognize that they can do great things. When you explore the limits, you will surely see that they do not exist. 

 

The Genesis of Limiting Beliefs

 

It all begins during your childhood. You accept the words of others as fact. A teacher suggested you’d never amount to anything. Your friend is so full of confidence about their abilities that you believed them when they said they’re better than you. You struggled with math homework and your dad said you were terrible at math. None of those things were necessarily factual, yet you believed them. Worse, they’re ingrained in you and as an adult, you might not realize that you still hold them. They’re limiting you nonetheless. 

 

You will only be able to move forward when you accept that you are capable of anything. Let go of the beliefs that are limiting you, and embrace your potential. Imagine what life would be like for you if you were born into a world where you had access to the greatest education, nutrition, and opportunities in history. You couldn’t fail, right? Well, neither can you fail now if you put yourself to the test. The person you would be in that world is still the person you are now, it’s inside you. While the environment is different, you’re not, your potential isn’t. 

 

You are capable of developing your talents. You are capable and your potential is limitless. When you believe in yourself then possibilities are limitless. So, what will you use your power to achieve?

 

Understand Your Need To Overcome Limiting Beliefs

Your life experience influences the beliefs that you hold. The stronger they are, the easier it will be for you to find evidence that it’s true. The problem, though, is that the majority of the beliefs that you hold about yourself simply aren’t true. They are simply reflective of how you feel. You’ve just felt that way for so long, that it was easy to convince yourself it was true. 

 

There are all different kinds of limiting beliefs. We fall into traps such as, it’s not practical to dream, no one likes their job, marriage is for boring people, time is money, life isn’t fun for adults. None of those things are true, but you have these unconscious thoughts that have turned into beliefs. It’s not that you want to hold these limiting beliefs. You didn’t wake up one day and decide that this was how you were going to think. You have formed these beliefs based on the cues and opinions in your environment, starting in your childhood. You just think this is how it is, it’s the way things are. When you fall into these beliefs you think it’s too late to change because it’s a part of your identity.

 

The reality is that the things you view as the way it is… is just an assumption. A collective one, however, it’s an assumption, whether it’s conscious or not. It has become ingrained in you, it’s a habit now. You’re so used to holding these limiting beliefs that you identify with them at your very core. They hold more weight with you. 

 

So, what are limiting beliefs? Some of the most common ones include

 

• You don’t feel as though you’re enough 

• You don’t feel as though you have enough

• You don’t deserve success

• What’s yours?

 

Changing these beliefs seems daunting. You can, though, and here is how. 

 

Identification

 

The majority of limiting beliefs are difficult to budge because you identify with them. They have become a part of who you are and because of that, you allow them to define you. If you believe that you’re not particularly creative, then you will convince yourself you weren’t born with the ability to be creative. If you believe that you aren’t technologically minded, then you’re going to convince yourself you weren’t born with the ability to work with technology. So, the first step to overcoming your limiting beliefs is to stop identifying with them. Don’t let them define you. 

 

Conclusions

 

The beliefs you have and are convinced to be true are more flexible than you realize. What you think is necessary is likely more negotiable. Don’t be afraid to question your existing conclusions as to what you believe is possible, true or fixed. Kill those conclusions. 

 

Testing Assumptions

 

You can’t squelch your limiting beliefs if you aren’t willing to test your assumptions and push the boundaries. You have to break up the pattern of that limiting belief. The first step is questioning, which means you have to test your assumptions. Questioning is a great place to start, but you have to put it into action. Put your judgment aside, test your assumptions, and ask questions. 

 

It sounds simple, but these are the most basic steps to move beyond your limiting beliefs. It’s only the start. You have to also cultivate new beliefs that will empower you. It’s time that you understand just how important it is to overcome these limiting beliefs. They’re holding you back. What do you really want out of your life? If you don’t already have it, why is that? You can place the blame directly on your limiting beliefs. If you want to move on, you have to overcome. 

 

What Do Great Leaders Do?

There are a lot of resources out there on great leaders in history and how you can be more like them. But, what do great leaders actually do, and what does it mean to be a great leader?

 

A leader performs many tasks. Not all of these are dramatic and rewarding to the ego but all of them are important for moving your team towards its goal.

 

Leaders Organize

 

To be a great leader, you first have to be a leader and leaders... lead. At its bear basics, “leader” is an administrative position. It involves overseeing a task or a team and making sure that they are working towards their goal.

 

This is again, however, the very basic requirement. There are software programs and tools that technically fit this definition. Keeping people organized is what it means to be a leader, but not what it means to be a great leader.

 

Great Leaders Orchestrate And Inspire

 

Where leaders begin to become great is when they stop merely organizing and begin orchestrating. Much of a leader’s value is intrinsic, coming from their own talents and abilities. Much of it also comes from knowing how to take their resources and their teams and fitting them to the circumstance.

 

Great leaders don’t just make sure that their team members are sticking to task, they help to make sure that their team members are in the places where they can be of the most use.

 

Similarly, keeping team members on task becomes easier and more rewarding when you are able to inspire them. This can be done by stressing the importance of the task, but it can also be done by building camaraderie with the team. 

 

Too many people think that there is the team and then above the team there is the leader. As has been said before and will be said again, the leader is merely an administrative position on the team. Leaders have different responsibilities from the team, but they also share the same goals and often the same fate.

 

Leaders Mediate

 

Another one of the basic leadership jobs is mediating. This is another basic administrative task of the leader. Leaders hear their teams to help their teams deal with problems.

 

Sometimes this means solving disputes within the team, and sometimes it means helping the team deal with more systemic problems by helping to move their problem up the ladder.

 

Being a “middle man” is a role that few people passionately desire to fill. It is important, however. And like organizing, mediating is a role that leaders must perform but it is not the only thing that great leaders occupy their time with.

 

Great Leaders Create Lasting Change

 

Of course, great leaders don’t just mediate, they create systemic change. Most of the problems that people run into at their work are problems with the ways that things are done. It is often easier and faster to address these issues on a case-by-case basis. 

 

However, finding out why these problems arise and changing the system will mean that problems of that kind don’t appear as often.

 

Great leaders will also often make their roles as mediator less important by supplying education and resources that make it easier for other people to solve problems themselves. This frees up leaders to do more important things, even though creating or changing these systems takes time.

 

Too many people try to become great leaders before they become leaders. Being a great leader isn’t about delegating away all of the boring stuff so that you can give speeches and throw parties or whatever it is people think great leaders do. The best way to be a great leader is to know your job and do it well.

 

What Is Your Leadership Style?

There are a number of different leadership styles that you can use to keep your team working towards you goal. Most of the time, individuals have their own best leadership styles, though sometimes different styles are required to work with different teams or in different circumstances. This article will discuss some popular leadership styles as well as what kinds of people, teams, and situations they fit best.

 

Are You An Autocrat?

 

Autocratic leadership means that you’re the boss and you let everyone know about it. Autocratic leaders call all of the shots and aren’t usually receptive to recommendations or complaints from other people, specifically their team members. 

 

Autocratic leadership, of course, only knows when you know what you’re doing. It can also work if your team doesn’t know what they’re doing. Say for example, you’re running a new department in your company, or working with interns. Chances are your leadership is more valuable in these instances than listening to your team.

 

Of course, as your team begins to develop their skills, backing away from an autocratic style can help you to gain insights on how best to help your team, rather than just bossing them around.

 

Are You A Democratic Leader?

 

Democratic leadership is more or less the opposite of autocratic leadership. Democratic leadership involves working closely with your team to determine what they think is best rather than making all major decisions yourself.

 

Democratic leadership works best if you are taking over a leadership position in a new company, or if you are comfortable with leading but may not be familiar with the exact nature of your goal. Democratic leadership can also be the way to go if you are a “leader” because it is easier for one person to pass on all of the deliverables and give all of the updates, but you don’t really have any more experience or authority than other team members.

 

Democratic leadership can slow things down, however, so sometimes it can be important to make “executive decisions” to move things along.

 

Is Laissez-faire Right For You?

 

Laissez-faire leadership means that, as the leader, you basically do nothing. You delegate tasks to others and then let them call the shots.

 

Laissez-faire leadership can be particularly effective if your team is very large or if your leadership position is pretty high up the chain.

 

Of course, in order to engage in laissez-faire leadership, your team needs to be able to get on without you. If your team needs to be led by the hand everywhere, you’re probably better off using a more authoritative leadership style.

 

Is There A Place For Bureaucratic Leadership?

 

Bureaucratic leadership is similar to laissez-faire leadership in that it involves delegation of tasks to smaller committees within the larger team. This system of government is often derided for the time that it can take to perform certain tasks, but as a leadership style it can be surprisingly effective.

 

As a result, the limits of bureaucratic leadership are similar to the limits on laissez-faire leadership – you need to have a large team and you need to have quite a bit of authority within your organization. 

 

Your team needs to have fewer experts on your team, however, as the experts can be made the leaders of their own smaller teams. This method is most effective if the activities carried on by your team are very similar from day to day. Changing circumstances have a way of throwing off bureaucratic systems.

 

This article has only scratched the surface on the number of leadership styles that you can read about. Some might say that there is one leadership style for each leader. Still, finding out which leadership you like best can help you discover which leadership method you can use the most effectively. Of course, you should also consider your team and your situation when settling on a leadership style.

 

What Makes Great Leaders

Whether you’re trying to get a leadership position, or you’ve just entered one and aren’t sure what to do, there’s nothing wrong with wondering what makes great leaders. 

 

It’s a question that many have asked for strictly practical and strictly academic purposes. Books have been written on the subject, so feel free to do more research, but this article will try to point out just the big ones.

 

Focus

 

Good leaders are focused. That doesn’t mean that they are focused on a single thing so much as that they are focused on networks. To be a good leader, you have to understand yourself, you have to understand the people that you are leading, and you have to understand how the strengths of yourself and your team members can be best used to complete the task at hand.

 

While you may try to focus solely on the problem at hand, this may lead you to miss ques happening all around you. If you are a problem-oriented person, make time to dwell on the problem but also make time to think introspectively about yourself and how you are approaching the problem as well as time to spend talking and working with your team members to make sure that everyone’s strengths are being utilized.

 

Self-Awareness

 

Focusing on yourself is also important because in order to be a great leader you need to know yourself. As mentioned above, knowing your team is important too but as a leader you will serve as a uniting force that directs their strengths towards the goal. This will only work if you know yourself, have confidence in yourself, and move with a consistent direction and purpose.

 

Finding your leadership style can take a lifetime, but hopefully you already have your own personal style figured out. It’s okay if it matures with you – in fact it probably should – but it should be consistent enough that your team can follow your lead without getting dizzy.

 

Communication Skills

 

Being a good leader also requires communication skills. We often think of leaders as being charismatic or effective speakers, and while this is an important part of communication, it is only half of it.

 

Sometimes communication means rallying the troops and encouraging your team to work harder or to think more creatively.

 

Sometimes, however, communication means listening to your team. As a leader, you and the members of your team have one common goal, but you are likely to approach it in very different ways. Staying in touch with your team is an important way to learn about the progress that they are making as well as the obstacles that they face and possible ways to remove them.

 

Consistency

 

Of course, being a leader often means needing to make tough decisions. A recent study, however, suggests that good leaders all make tough decisions very consistently.

 

More specifically, good leaders make decisions that impact others the same way that they make decisions that impact themselves. This suggests skills like empathy – being able to relate to another person’s emotional state – as well as the ability to make decisions based on the good of the project rather than the good of individuals.

 

It also means seeing yourself as a part of the team. As mentioned above, the roles of leaders and other team members can be different. Both, however, should be seen as instruments of achieving the goal. A leadership position isn’t more important than a team position; a leadership position is a team position.

 

Different leaders have drastically different styles. To become a great leader, you shouldn’t have one great leader in mind because you will never be able to be that person. Rather than focusing on role models, focus on yourself and on developing your own strengths.