What You Think Your Feelings May Not be Accurate

I know that you may be feeling sad, depressed, angry, upset or any rage of strong emotion. You’re entitled to your feelings. But there’s a problem. Just because you feel something, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is accurate. Now you’re probably scratching you head. You might even be offended and thinking that I am contradicting myself. How can I with one sentence, say that people are entitled to their emotions and take it all away by saying that they’re not exactly feeling what they’re feeling? What’s going on? 

 

Well, here's the problem. You can’t just go with your emotional states. You have to measure them by some standard. Unfortunately, if all your standards are subjective, with totally no regard to how other people perceive your emotions, you’re making things harder on yourself. 

 

You set yourself up for a really sad disconnect between how you feel and how other people perceive what you’re felling. You put yourself in a position where you have these strong emotions but you really cannot communicate them in clear enough terms so as to resolve them. 

 

Do you see how this works? Your feelings, while being completely owned by you, actually has two dimensions. There is the subjective dimension, which is what you are perceiving deep down inside. But there’s also an objective dimension to it. 

 

You’re going to have to express your feelings. Do these expressions line up with what you’re feeling inside? If there is a disconnect, then don’t be surprised if people respond to you in a less optimal way. 

 

Here’s the kicker, it’s not their fault. Whatever negative experiences you have maybe due to the fact that you’re just expressing yourself the wrong way. The good news is emotional expression is a skill. You may not be doing a good job of it now but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to stay emotionally incompetent forever. 

 

You can work with people who care about you to fine tune your emotional expressions, so you can get rid of that disconnect between the strong feelings you have deep down inside and how other people perceive you. This is very important because a lot of people base their decisions on their feelings. 

 

The problem with this is if you’re basing it on something that may not line up with objective reality, you’re going to have a problem in your hands. It’s not unusual for people with this issue to think that they always bring out the worst in people. It’s also not unusual for people who struggle with this problem to automatically assume that people are out to get them so they develop some low-level forms of paranoia. You don’t have to put yourself through that self-abuse. Focus instead on honesty. 

 

Do you think your feelings can you line that up with objective parameters? Can you get somebody who cares about you to work with you so you can clearly see whether you are expressing your emotions the right way? Get help with emotional intelligence issues you need the blueprint for emotional intelligence excellence.

 

Lack of Emotional Clarity Might be Holding You Back for More Fulfilling Relationships

You’ve probably have heard this old saying: if you don’t love yourself, why should you expect others to do what you can’t do for yourself. There’s a lot of truth to that. Let’s put it this way, if you are conflicted or confused about your emotions, there's a high chance you are not sending the right signals to people around you. They want to help, and they care and love you, but they can’t quite seem to reach you. I know it hurts but the truth is, it’s all your fault. 

 

You have to understand that life is not a movie. When you’re watching movies there is a script, there is a footage, and there are actors. But at the end of the day, you’re watching something that is complete. There’s nothing you can do to influence whatever goes on in the movie. All you can do is sit down, watch the movie and let the directors, screenwriters, and actors perform for you. That’s how it works. 

 

I don’t know the exact nature of your relationships but that should not be a one way street. There is give and take. It’s very easy for people to feel frustrated in their relationship because they can’t get what they wanted from it in the first place. They don’t bother to stop and think about their role in the relationship. What are you putting in? How do you influence the flow of the emotional signals that you have with the other person? Is it fair to that other person when you put all the weight on their shoulders? Of course not. You don’t want that done to you, right? This is where lack of emotional clarity comes in.

 

Most people always focus on how they’re being cheated, how they’re being hurt, and how they’re not getting what they feel they have coming to them. Rarely do they look at the other side. People are very shallow about it. This is a serious problem because if you want more fulfilling relationships, you need to develop the emotional intelligence skill of emotional clarity. 

 

A lot of people define this ability in strictly self-serving facts. In their words they say, “I just need to know how I’m feeling and what kind of emotions are going through my mind and heart at any given point of time.” That’s just part of the picture. If you stop there, then it’s no surprise that your relationships are not living up to their fullest potential. What’s the problem here? It’s not just about you that’s a big part of your relationship, but there’s the other side of the equation. You have to also pay attention to the consequences of your emotional signals and most importantly the clarity with which you communicate.

 

People with low emotional intelligence suffer from a disconnect between what they feel and how the other people perceive them. They always think that it’s the other person responsibility to perceive them clearly. Maybe you’re just not communicating emotionally clearly enough. Solve this problem now.

 

5 Tips on How to Manage Your Energy Levels

The varying degrees of your energy level can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Sometimes you have to have the energy to complete a task or activity and other times you seem to have the most energy when you’re trying to relax. If you can learn how to manage your energy levels effectively, you can move ahead rather than lag behind.

 

Here are some tips about how to manage your energy levels so that you’re ready for anything – any time.

 

1.  Determine the times you’re most energetic. Some people are more energetic in the mornings and others are night owls. You should be able to determine from past experience which time of day you get more done. Those are the times you should schedule the most harrowing or mind bending of tasks.

2.  Identify what drains you of your energy. Be honest about this assessment. When you know which obstacles and situations keep you from being the best you can be, you can do what it takes to minimize them or eradicate them from your life.

3.  When you do have energy is it negative or positive? If you have lots of energy, but your output is all about negativity, you are likely in a constant reactive mode rather than a positive, active mode. Negative, but energetic people never seem to have enough time to get things done.

4.  Use your energy to make headway, not merely survive. We all have increasing demands on our time. The way that we meet it determines whether we go through life just barely getting by or having the energy to advance. Quit rushing through in survival mode simply to get things done. Choose performance over immediate solutions.

5.  Be consistent in the way you handle situations. When you experience energy highs and lows, you may find yourself reacting to situations according to your energy level. If you’re energetic, you can be positive, but if you’re lethargic you could react in a totally negative manner. Try to be consistent in your reactions and it will help your energy levels to be consistent.

 

Thomas Leonard, a highly successful financial planner and business entrepreneur says that time is an illusion – “There’s no such thing as time management. There’s only activity management in the time we’re given.” How much activity you get done in that allotted time is directly responsible for how energetic you are.

 

Make your activities into priorities according to your energy level. Performing low-energy tasks at times when you’re least energetic and high-energy tasks at times when your energy level is highest can help you meet all the demands and expectations and still have time to relax and enjoy life.

 

Energy Management vs. Time Management

You’ve likely heard the old adage, “Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” If you’re trying to manage your time effectively without paying attention to your energy management, you may end up with sprints rather than finishing the marathon of life.

 

Experts are now saying that productivity and success have more to do with how you manage your energy than it does with time management. As business entrepreneurs, we often try to do everything that gives us more time.

 

Eating healthy, staying fit, spending time with our children and connecting with others all take time and we do have to schedule some of our pursuits. Whether we have the energy for those pursuits is a problem that’s often overlooked.

 

Trying to adhere to certain times to manage everything can leave us all exhausted so that we’re not even able to relax and enjoy ourselves when we’ve “scheduled the time” for it.

 

The alternative to managing your time is to manage your energy effectively. It works by taking time for recovering from those lengthy sprints you take so you can finish the marathon with ease rather than anguish.

 

Here are some tips for managing your energy effectively:

 

·    List how you like to rejuvenate yourself. Make a list of what makes you feel refreshed, more creative and lifts your mood. Writing them down will help to remind you about the benefits of these uplifting activities. For example, watching a great series or show you’re following on television, sipping a cup of tea and listening to music can be very rejuvenating to your energy levels.

·    Double the time you usually take for breaks. Don’t stick to a time table when it comes to reviving your energy level. Take an hour rather than half an hour and have fun with whatever you’re doing.

·    Reward yourself for every goal reached. Do you have lots of projects and it seems you’ll never finish them to be able to relax and enjoy yourself. Break those projects down into parts and reward yourself after you complete each one – rather than waiting until the entire project is finished.

·    Make frequent recovery stops. While you’re on that mile-long sprint, you may feel the need to stop and renew your spirits and your energy. Do it! You’ll feel so much more like completing the marathon and you’ll be happier at the finish line.

 

Managing your energy is a much more effective way to get through life rather than putting time limits and making schedules for everything. Your inner energy thermostat doesn’t pay any attention to the time table you’ve created. Instead, make your energy the most important factor in the long marathon you’re up against. 

 

Enjoy Good Health by Managing Your Energy

When you’re not managing your energy properly, you’re likely to experience emotions such as anger, frustration, exhaustion and other emotions that can compromise your health.

 

When you know how to manage your energy and enjoy an abundance of it your emotions will be connected, passionate, peaceful and positive. The outlook you get when you have energy to be productive and enjoy life can make a world of difference in your present and future health.

 

There never seems to be enough time to get things done, so we exist by multi-tasking on the run. For example, you may be eating a sandwich, driving a car and talking on the telephone all at once at any given time of the day. You may have gotten done what you had on your ‘list’, but you’re probably exhausted at the end of the day.

 

Personal energy management techniques can help produce a more natural energy and one that’s healthier for you. When you focus on the physical ways to produce energy, it serves you better than trying to get things done using ways that leave you mentally and physically depleted. 

 

Here are some simple ways to enjoy better health by managing your personal energy:

 

1.  Get rid of energy drainers. An energy drainer might be in the form of a person or a task. Assess the people around you and distance yourself from those who leave you exhausted when you leave their presence.

2.  Dance. Take a lesion from children -- move your body to some funky rhythms and reenergize your body and mind. Just a few minutes of dancing around the room will give you some much needed positive energy.

3.  Learn and practice a ‘healing’ art. Energy healing sessions such as Tai Chi and Reiki are especially great for renewing the energy levels of your mind, body and spirit so that you feel better and enjoy a healthier lifestyle.

4.  Discover what makes you happy. You may not be able to do what makes you happy 24/7, but you can rejuvenate your body and mind by engaging in those activities on a regular basis. You may enjoy crafts, cooking, reading, watching or playing sports. Do what makes you happy and enjoy better health.

5.  Nourish your spiritual side. Take some time out of every day to nourish your spirit by a number of ways. You can commune with nature by gardening or walking or even just sitting in a garden listening to the sounds of nature. Take time to meditate and search through your soul until you feel rejuvenated.

 

Many times, we forget that keeping healthy isn’t just about diet and exercise. A positive outlook and surrounding ourselves with positive energy by managing our energy wisely can do wonders for our health.

 

7 Natural Ways to Boost Your Memory Starting Today

The day is half over, and you can’t get over the feeling that you’ve forgotten something important. You check your calendar, but whatever it is, it was never written down. Now you’re stuck, and you can’t remember what it was.

 

There’s nothing more frustrating than forgetting. The fact is, we get so busy that it’s very hard to keep track of everything you need to get through a day. 

 

Or is it?

 

Thankfully there are natural things we can do to improve our memory. And we don’t have to wait to get started. Below you’ll find several suggestions to help you boost your memory right now!

 

1. Mediate. All day long you’re trying to absorb information. Is it any wonder your brain gets to the point where it can’t hold in another fact? Meditation gives you time to process, and recharge. What’s more, meditation improves your focus, so when it’s time to go back to work, you’re ready for it.

 

2. Eat better. Some things we eat are called brain foods. Anything with antioxidants will improve brain function, which in turns makes for a better memory!

 

3. Get up and move. Exercise increases blood flow. Better blood flow carries more of what your brain needs to function (such as oxygen and nutrients). So movement = better memory!

 

4. Try a brain teaser. Regularly challenging your brain is good for it! By doing things such as crossword puzzles or Sudoku, you start building better networks for the neural pathways. There are tons of apps out there filled with all kinds of mental challenges designed to enhance your memory. So, why not play a game that gives a real positive boost to your brainpower?

 

5. Take a break. Brains need rest periods too. If you’re finding that you’re losing focus while working, it’s probably time to take a short break. That gives your brain a chance to process and re-energize. 

 

6. Learn something new. By learning new things, you train your brain to process information better, and so you will start remembering more. Picking up a new skill will result in you helping your memory as well!

 

7. Sleep. It’s a fact of life that a tired brain isn’t going to be working at its very best. Getting enough sleep is probably the simplest thing you can do to improve your memory. By getting 7 – 9 hours of sleep every night,you’ll find your memory will improve dramatically.

 

Improving your memory doesn’t have to take a lot of time or even forced attention. By using this list, you’ll find that your memory will improve dramatically in just a short time, all without having to resort to great big crazy changes in your life. How easy is that?

 

5 Ways to Give Your Creativity a Shot in the Arm

All day long you’ve been wrestling with the same problem. You’ve been through all the obvious solutions, and none of them worked. You’ve come to realize that you need to think outside the box on this one – to be creative. But you’ve got nothing, and you’re fast running out of time to present the answer. Stress rises, andyou find yourself well and truly blocked.

 

In the world of being creative, there’s nothing worse than coming up short just when you need creativity the most. Artists are well-familiar with the phenomena. There isn’t a writer that hasn’t suffered writer’s block or an artist that hasn’t eyed that empty canvas with a certain feeling of dread. 

 

Thankfully there are ways to give creativity a shot in the arm when you need it the most. Read on for some great ideas that will get you going and able to create again!

 

1. Take some time to de-stress. The more stressed you are, the less you’re able to think, much less think creatively. Our brains aren't great at working out problems when we're stressed. So it's best to take some time off, relax and do something else. Exercise, listen to music, read a book. The solution will be there waiting when you’re relaxed enough to see it.

 

2. Quit putting yourself down. Hating on yourself when you have a block is only going to make things worse. It’s true that we come to believe what we say about ourselves. Solve this issue by trying more positive statements like: “I am creative.” and “I can do this!”

 

3. Quit expecting so much of yourself. Looking for perfection is the surest way to fail. Start with looking for a solution – any solution. It could be that your crazy or even silly idea is the jumping off point you need.

 

4. Try something new. By experimenting with new art, involving yourself in a new sport, or going somewhere you’ve never been before, you engage your brain along different neural pathways and see the world in ways you haven’t before. Now is the time to try that thing you’ve always wanted to do!

 

5. Keep an idea journal. By making lists of things you find interesting or writing down ideas the second you think of them, you train yourself to spot creative ideas. That should be a physical journal, so you can doodle in the margins and scribble whatever comes to mind. Keep it handy, so you always have it when creativity strikes.

 

If you use this list as a starting point, you’re sure to find your creative juices flowing once again. Remember that creativity is about experimentation, so adjust these ideas to what works for you. The point is not to giveup. Keep trying, and you’ll find that creative spark in no time!

 

Effective Brainstorming

The pressure to come up with ideas can be overwhelming. Constant content creation seems to be a requisite of the workplace these days. There's a demand from your boss to find new ways to improve the workplace, your college lecturer wants to see a different approach than anyone else has shown, or you're an entrepreneur and you recognize that without flagging yourself as someone who stands out different to the rest, you're going to sink among all the other "me too" product creators. 

 

Can you create a mental spark of new ideas as simply as you see a spark when you touch two wires together? The answer is - you can. 

 

The first thing you need to do is quit thinking of ideas as things that just happen. You've heard of brainstorming, right? That's a situation where people decide to cognitively generate ideas. They make the decision that they will create ideas within a timeframe - not that they will sit around the office for days, weeks or months waiting on some mysterious Muse to appear and give them a sign. 

 

How do we brainstorm effectively? 

 

First, write down all known facts and assumptions about the subject at hand. Then for each fact or assumption, ask "what if...?" Take the opposing view in your question. 

 

"What if something else could create the same result?" 

"What if we didn't have a specific resource, then how would we create this?" 

"What if everyone called in sick one day, then how would we minimize the damage?" 

"What if I had only 10 minutes to do this - is there a template I could use over and over again to speed things up?" 

 

Always challenge assumptions. 

 

Strip things away 

 

Often, we get caught up in finding new ideas to add to the existing processes we have in place. But it's as valid to think about cutting away ideas as it is creating new ones. You might have two different products in mind to create, and two different websites to market them through. But by focusing on cutting out ideas you may discover that there is a core group who require both products - and then build just one website aimed at that core group. 

 

Ideas that take away work are sometimes more beneficial than those that do. 

 

Use different discovery tools 

 

Many people swear by mind maps. Some prefer a word processor document - and others prefer spreadsheets. Get away from your comfort level by using a different medium to dump your ideas out into. The process will feel different and make your brain respond differently - and often more creatively. 

 

The 5 Habits You Need to Change to Boost Your Brain Power

Habits can be wonderful things. While most people think of habits initially as bad things you need to conquer, good habits are the ones keeping you on track, like reminding yourself to brush your teeth every morning or to drink water throughout the day. 

 

Did you know there are habits you can add easily to your daily routine that will boost your brain power? Let’s look at five changes you can start making today and get you on track to creating the best version of yourself.

 

1. Sleep

 

This one should almost go without saying. Sleep is how you recharge and prepare yourself to face the new day. What you might not realize is sleep is what helps you to process your day. Without deep sleep and the dream state, you would never be able to deal with whatever trauma you went through during your waking hours. By getting enough sleep, you’re hitting the reset button on your brain, allowing it to work through the rough stuff so you can start the next day with a clean slate. 

 

2. Get Up When the Sun Does

 

Pay attention to Circadian rhythms. By starting the day at dawn, you’re putting your body in sync with the world around you. People who are out of sync are those who experience all manner of problems, from obesity to depression. To keep your mood stabilized, start the day early, and go to bed when it gets dark.

 

3. Use Fish Oil

 

 

If you’re not into eating a lot of fatty fish in your diet, a fish oil supplement will give you the Omega-3s so crucial to your good health. That is what’s needed to repair your brain cells, with the added benefit of guarding you against memory disorders such as Alzheimer’s.

 

4. Practice Mindfulness

 

You might already know meditation will help you reduce stress, and give your brain a break. Were you aware meditation is also responsible for stopping loss of brain cells and even reversing the effects of aging? Meditate for at least 5 – 10 minutes every day to see a positive benefit.

 

5. Do Weird Stuff

 

To grow new connections in your brain and keep your neurons firing, you need to challenge it regularly. Take up a hobby, learn a language, or try something new for a definite jumpstart to get your brain going. Even doing the same old routine in an alternative way can have a positive benefit. So, brush your teeth with the opposite hand or try going a different way to work to jump-start the process.

 

As with any habit, the key is to do these things every day for the best benefit. Boosting your brain power is very simple. Commit to building new habits starting today. After all, there’s no time like the present!