How Does People Pleasing Hurt Us?

Maybe you've recently discovered that you are a people pleaser. What is so wrong with that? You like to make others happy! 

 

The truth is, people-pleasing is a damaging behavior for several reasons. Keep reading to learn more about the dangers of people-pleasing and how it may be hurting you. 

 

People Pleasing Can Damage Your Physical Health

 

When you take on risks and activities you aren't comfortable with just to make someone else happy, you are being a people-pleaser. These risks and activities can lead to physical damage.

 

Here is a question, have you ever gotten hurt doing something stupid to impress somebody? Yeah, don't worry - we all have.  

 

You Can Damage Your Mental Health

 

Besides your physical health, your mental health is in jeopardy when you constantly people-please. As a people pleaser, you often don't make enough time to care for yourself, and self-care is essential for maintaining mental health. When you disregard your mental health for too long, this can cause serious conditions like burnout and depression. 

 

You May Get Into a Toxic Relationship

 

People pleasers don't know how to say no, and sadly, there are people out there that will take advantage of this fact. Namely - toxic people who like to control others. Toxic relationships are unhealthy, as they frequently contain mental - or even physical - abuse.

 

It is extremely difficult to leave toxic relationships, so difficult in fact that many people don't get out soon enough. If you are a constant people-pleaser, you will find it harder to spot (and listen to) the signs indicating someone is toxic. 

 

You Won't Be As Successful

 

In addition to all the physical and mental damage, people-pleasing can cause, it also keeps you from achieving your dreams. You are so focused on saying yes to others and making them happy that you put what you need to do on the backburner. This means that someday you could come to realize you are working a job that you hate in a city you hate—all because you couldn't say no and tell others that you needed to focus on yourself. 

 

As you can see, being a people pleaser is quite dangerous all around. It hurts your physical and mental health and keeps you from success. So if you want to live a happy and healthy life filled with success, it's time to stop being a people pleaser right away. 

Bubble Wrap

Have you ever had what you thought was a really great idea turn out to be not so great after all? Now imagine someone else picking up your discarded idea and proving it actually was quite brilliant after all. 

 

This is what happened to Al Fielding and Marc Chavannes back in 1957.

 

These two gentlemen were working on an aesthetic problem. They wanted to create a textured wallpaper to create an interesting effect in a room. Their solution? Take two shower curtains and put them together, so that pockets of air would be trapped between them. This sheet of plastic could be put up on the walls to make for unique and charming décor.

 

The world didn’t exactly come flocking to their door. 

 

Undaunted they tried again. Same product: different marketing approaches. Maybe this unique bubbled plastic could be used to insulate greenhouses.

 

Not really. It sort of worked but was not something every greenhouse owner couldn’t live without. 

 

It took two years for someone to figure out what to do with the product. Frederick W. Bowers, who worked for the company which made the sheets of plastic with air pockets, realized they would be perfect for the transport of computer equipment for a company which had a sudden need for this kind of product – IBM. The material, now called ‘Bubble Wrap,’ was absolutely perfect for the job. The rest, shall we say, is history.

 

Bubble Wrap is one of those products that seemed to come along by accident. As a wallpaper, it wasn’t a great idea. (Just imagine your kids going around the house and poking the bubbles to pop them?). On the other hand, someone who was willing to think outside the box, or more accurately, think creatively about what to put IN a box, was able to come up with a use for the product no one else would have ever considered.

 

Thankfully, the creators of Bubble Wrap hadn’t given up on the product. They knew they had something interesting, they just didn’t know what to use it for. Sometimes you must experiment with your ideas to discover what you really have. Sometimes you have to think more creatively about what you have at hand.

 

The point is not to give up. Failure should never be anything more than a marker to tell you it’s time to attack the problem from a different angle. Learn from the mistake, then move on. Imagine what you’ll come up with when you do!

 

Milton Hershey

Chocolate. So good. So tasty. Who knew a candy bar could lead to a success story?

 

Hershey chocolate has become a staple in just about everyone’s diet. Whether you are a person who loves the straight-up Hershey bar or are more of a Kit Kat or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup sort of person, there’s something for every chocolate lover. We can’t imagine life without chocolate, although only 150 years ago, only the rich could enjoy the delicious confection.

 

Chocolate had been around for centuries, but candy was something made by hand, taking a lot of time and effort to create. Thankfully some people saw it didn’t have to be that way. 

 

Meet Milton Hershey.

 

Hershey was the sort of guy who loved dessert. He also had a knack for sniffing out business opportunities. Unfortunately, most of his ideas didn’t work out very well. In fact, if it hadn’t been for relatives loaning him the money and a good bit of luck, his caramel business would have died out in the 1880s. Hershey, though, was one to keep an eye out for opportunity. He found it in 1893. 

 

Hershey noticed few were paying attention to a contraption at World’s Columbian Exposition in Chicago. A German chocolatier had a machine which could produce chocolate much more simply, with a lot less work. Although his field wasn’t chocolate, but caramel, he knew a good idea when he saw one. He purchased the machine to adapt to his own work, thinking chocolate-covered caramels might be a good idea.

 

This didn’t exactly work out as planned. What did, though, was making chocolate bars. These candy bars took the world by storm. So much so, Hershey was approached in 1937 to come up with a bar that wouldn’t melt easily but could have added nutrition to send with soldiers overseas as a supplement to their diet. During WWII, he was making 24 million bars a week for the military!

 

After the war, Hershey’s success was secured. He branched out into other kinds of chocolate bars, continually trying new things and expanding production until it became the successful company we know today.

 

Hershey might have been a failure initially, but he had a lot of drive and determination. What didn’t work, he left behind, pursuing quickly what did. When he was approached to try something new, he immediately rose to the challenge, asking, ‘how can I do this’ instead of focusing on ‘I’ve never done this before.’

 

To succeed in today’s world, show yourself to be persistent like Hershey. Never turn your back on a lucky break. Most of all, don’t forget to embrace the sweet things in life. You’ll be amazed where they can take you!

 

This Former Coffee-Hawker Says You're Not Thinking Big Enough

When Michelle Gass ran Starbucks, she helped the company move into 33 countries. When she first joined the coffee-based firm, she was asked to get behind a new drink. Starbucks had just launched the Frappucino, and Gass was ordered to develop a growth strategy to make the drink popular.

 

What began as a side item now earns Starbucks more than $2 billion annually. That's the income from just one drink. To say that Gass' efforts worked out is obvious.

 

She had long ago come up with a belief about how to approach achievement. It can help with personal and career goals. Men and women of all ages and levels of education and success can use the same idea. It’s powerful in its simplicity.

 

What was the approach she took that created such a winner for Starbucks? It's one she's used successfully in her career working with many Fortune 500 companies. She says her mantra is ...

 

"Let's think of how big this can be."

 

She's a firm believer in thinking big. A lot of leaders will tell you this. If you're going to dream, why not dream big? It doesn't make any sense to think small when thinking big doesn't take any more effort.

 

It’s up to you, really. If you have a task or responsibility, shoot for the moon. You get to choose what you strive for in life. Aiming for big results can make your world better for you and everyone you care for. Accomplishing great things feels so rewarding. You might even surprise yourself with what you’re able to accomplish.

 

To start seeing the world as incredibly abundant. Don't think of lack or just enough to get by. Think much bigger and envision big change rather than small, insignificant change. Imagine big things in your life. What you consciously tell your subconscious ends up as action. Your subconscious drives your actions, and your actions are what create the reality in your life.

 

Gass knows this. When Starbucks purchased Seattle's Best Coffee, she employed her "think bigger" mantra. In just a single year, she took Seattle's Best from 3,000 distribution points to over 50,000. That's what happens when you think big.

 

If you want big things in your life, you've got to think big. Dare to think bigger than you could possibly imagine. Even if you come up short, you will have achieved so much.

 

Breaking Bad Habits: 5 Effective Steps to Overcome Negative Patterns

If you are fully aware that something is bad for you, why is it so difficult to stop? 70% of smokers report that they want to quit. People who abuse alcohol or drugs struggle to break free of their control over their lives. Many people carry unhealthy weight that could be lost if they exercised more and ate right. Why do so many people have trouble overcoming these negative patterns? 

 

Scientists funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are searching for the answer to that question. They study what happens in our brains while habits are forming. They have discovered clues to why our bad habits are hard to overcome. They are working on strategies that will help us make changes we need to make in our lives. 

 

Here are 5 effective steps for overcoming negative patterns and breaking bad habits:

1. Understand that Success Won’t be a Straight Line

 

As you begin trying to change, you will find setbacks and bumps in the road. They are parts of the important process of developing lasting change. You are your own worst critic, and you may view anything less than complete success as a failure. 

 

It may help to take the perspective of a third person and react as you would to a friend trying to change, instead of yourself. You would be reassuring and kind, rather than critical. Allow yourself the same treatment. 

2. Make an Achievable Game Plan

 

Start your journey with a game plan you can achieve. Just thinking about change isn’t normally enough to overcome negative patterns. Instead, use a journal – or your phone, or paper – and start with a plan. 

 

Gain some introspection into the changes you want to make. Consider:

• What is your main goal?

• Why is that goal one you want to achieve?

• Can you set smaller goals to help you reach the main goal?

• What things trigger your bad habit?

• What setbacks do you foresee?

• What types of coping strategies can help you deal with your triggers and your setbacks?

• What type of support system is available for you?

• How will you be tracking challenges and progress?

3. Keep Changes Simple

 

The reason it’s difficult to break your bad habits is that they are already automatic and easy. New behaviors are harder to adopt. Your brain has not yet taken them on. When you make your new goal behaviors simple, it helps in integrating them into your brain’s autopilot routines.

4. Practice Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness will assist you to develop an awareness of your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions. Simply observe the impulses related to your bad habits without reacting to them or judging them. 

 

As you develop awareness of your routine behaviors and those triggers that cause them, you can consider other available options, like not acting on your urges or avoiding cues that cause you to remember bad habits. 

 

Practicing consistent mindfulness will also help you in noticing ways in which your habits affect your life on a daily basis. As you begin recognizing those effects, it helps you to feel driven to change the bad habits. 

5. Cut Out Your Triggers

 

Cut as many triggers as you can from your life. If you usually smoke when drinking, don’t drink alcohol. If you eat whatever cookies you have in your house, throw them away. Make it easier to break your bad habits by avoiding whatever causes them. 

Conclusion

 

Once you have broken a bad habit, what’s the next step? You need to plan to prevent any relapse. Bad habits are difficult to break, and it will usually take multiple attempts to change. Remember to be compassionate with yourself, so you won’t give up when you encounter a setback or roadblock. That makes success much more probable.

References

 

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-break-a-habit#be-mindful

 

https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-lifestyle/mental-health-and-wellbeing/how-to-break-bad-habits-and-change-behaviors

 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-break-a-bad-habit-202205022736

 

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-break-bad-habits

 

5 Powerful Signs You’re on The Right Path in Life

Do you sometimes wonder if you’re on the right path in life? It’s commonly asked by many people, and that’s understandable. Life is a journey, after all, and sometimes you need to check to be sure you’re heading in the right direction. 

 

There are some signs that will indicate that you are, in fact, heading where you wish to go. In this article, we will explore 5 powerful signs that you are on the right path in life. 

 

1. You’re Pursuing What You Love

 

Is your time spent doing things that really matter to you? Perhaps it’s your hobby, your job, or just something pursued in your idle time. If you are passionate about the things you do, and they make you happy, that’s a powerful sign that you are on the right path. 

 

Life isn’t just about working hard to make more money. It’s about finding satisfaction and joy in what you do. So, if your job or hobby brings your heart happiness and brightens your day, keep on that path. It means you’re thriving, rather than simply surviving. 

 

2. You’re Surrounded by Positive Influences

 

Look around you, right where you stand:

 

• Do you see hope?

• How about positivity?

• Do the people around you inspire you and lift you up?

 

If you answered “yes: to these questions, you’re on the right path in life. It takes time to fully understand it, but the people with whom you surround yourself play a crucial role in determining your life’s direction. 

 

Energy can be quite contagious, as can support. So, if you find yourself surrounded by negative people who drag you down, find some new friends. 

 

3. You Overcome Obstacles in Your Way

 

Being on the correct path in life does not mean everything magically and automatically falls into place all the time. When you see obstacles in front of you, come up with creative, innovative ways to work around them or overcome them. 

 

Consider a situation that is the opposite: Have you ever had a failing relationship or a thankless job that you felt was time to leave? Think about the inspiration you would feel if a wonderful opportunity presented itself right then and there, to make an escape. 

 

If you’re on your right path, obstacles won’t be anything more than small bumps in an overall smooth road. Giving up should not be an option. 

 

4. You Give Back to Others

 

Although your personal destiny is a single path, it isn’t solitary. You’ve probably had mentors in your life, and there will be more, as you continue life’s voyage. These people reach out to you, sharing their resources and knowledge. To honor their example, you can learn to give the same to others, still trying to find their way. 

 

Whether you tutor students after school or volunteer in a community food pantry, you are making a difference. This cycle of giving and receiving makes us all better people. 

 

5. You Learn Something New Every Day

 

You’ll never feel old if you put new information in your brain every day. You should end your day a bit wiser than when you awoke that morning. 

 

Some ways to learn something new:

 

• Socialize with others like coworkers or friends.

• Sign up for a class at a local college or trade school.

• Visit museums in your city.

• Read informational pages or articles. 

• Play word games or number games.

• Expand your vocabulary, even if it’s just one word a day.

• Learn a new language.

 

Conclusion

 

Deciding what path to take in life and determining if it’s right for you are things only you may determine. There isn’t just one path for each person, since many roads cross or lead the same way. 

 

Direction and circumstances may change during your journey, and nothing says you have to stay locked into one specific course. It is important to remember that if you are questioning whether a path is right for you, it may indicate that you need to change your path. 

 

Peer Accountability: Building Partnerships for Success

Peer accountability is a powerful tool to help you stay on track with your goals. By partnering with someone who shares your commitment to growth, you can foster mutual support, encouragement, and success. Whether you're working toward personal, professional, or health goals, having an accountability partner can make all the difference.

 

What Is Peer Accountability?

 

Peer accountability is a system where two or more individuals agree to hold each other responsible for their commitments. This could look like:

• A workout buddy keeping you motivated to stick to your fitness routine.

• A mastermind group providing feedback and support for your business ideas.

• A friend helping you stay consistent with a new habit.

 

The key is mutual respect and a shared focus on achieving specific goals.

 

How to Choose the Right Accountability Partner

 

Choosing the right partner is critical for success. Look for someone who is:

• Trustworthy: They respect your privacy and handle sensitive information with care.

• Reliable: They show up consistently and are committed to the partnership.

• Aligned in Values: They understand your goals and share similar aspirations or standards.

 

Where to Find a Partner:

• Professional groups or networking events.

• Online communities or forums related to your interests.

• Friends, family, or coworkers who are also striving for growth.

 

Setting the Foundation for a Strong Partnership

 

A successful accountability partnership starts with clear agreements. Here’s how:

• Define Goals Together: Share your objectives and listen to theirs. Discuss how you’ll track progress.

• Set Expectations: Agree on how often you’ll check in (e.g., weekly calls, daily messages).

• Create a Plan: Use tools like shared documents, goal-tracking apps, or a simple notebook to stay organized.

 

Example Conversation Starter:

 

"Hey [Name], I’m working on [goal], and I think having an accountability partner could help. Would you be interested in teaming up to support each other?"

 

Strategies for Successful Accountability

 

Here are some effective strategies to make the partnership work:

• SMART Goals: Ensure goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

• Regular Check-Ins: Stay consistent with scheduled updates.

• Use Tracking Tools: Share progress via apps like Trello, Asana, or Google Sheets.

• Celebrate Wins: Acknowledge small victories to stay motivated.

• Constructive Feedback: Give and receive honest, supportive feedback.

• Overcoming Common Challenges

 

Every partnership faces hurdles. Here’s how to tackle them:

• If a Partner Isn’t Meeting Commitments: Address the issue kindly and revisit expectations.

• Avoiding Co-Dependency: Maintain individual responsibility for your goals.

• Staying Motivated During Plateaus: Use positive reinforcement and focus on long-term results.

 

Conclusion

 

Peer accountability is a game-changer for achieving goals. By partnering with someone who shares your drive, you create a support system that keeps you motivated and focused.

 

Take the first step today: reach out to a potential partner and start your journey toward success together!