How Come He Looks Fine?

Ever wondered why that “ex” of yours is sporting a wide smile days after your break-up? How about rumors that he’s been partying his night out with the boys? Do you smell something fishy? Yes, and you’re right. Something is surely brewing there. 

 

Don’t feel sad if you think that it is only you who’s having difficult nights. Men could sometimes be so good at hiding their real feelings. They could even make themselves look like they’re having a really nice time when in reality, they are also in tears! Well, if you are would want to know tell-tale signs that something is amiss, here they are: 

 

·    They may pretend to be the busiest during the peak of their “brokenness” – the tendency is to fill their hours with work so that when they come home, they will be so tired and there will no time to think of how hurt they are. So, if you see them finally accepting that long-postponed promotion, or devoting their day-offs to the gym, give yourself a wink, because it only means that they are as hurt as you are. 

·    You may not hear from him for a while - most often, this awkward silence hurts a lot of women. But, the truth is, men, when overwhelmed tend to process things slowly in their minds and that is simply why they shut up. This is actually to give themselves time to think. So, don’t expect to hear an explanation or openness to talk days after your break-up. 

·    They tend to “sleep” things out and that could include sleeping with others – this is one reality that is difficult to accept especially if “sleeping with others” is already is involved in your relationship issues. This can be explained by the “flight mode” they turn on when badly hurt emotionally.

 

How Come I See Her Around (Almost) All The Time?

It’s between you having a bad case of near-sightedness versus aliens having already invaded planet earth and is playing with time. Why do you keep seeing your ex? She’s literally everywhere – you see her while buying your morning coffee, you see her during your lunch break, again at the gym, at a friend’s gender reveal party, while clubbing and even at the groceries. 

 

Well, you are not hallucinating. The images are really her. That is because women have the tendency to follow you around after a break-up. But, don’t get your hopes up high. The reason could be because she’s making sure you are regretting your decision and that you are having the worst days of your life. Okay, so there would be some who would be wishing you happiness and all that stuff but, that would greatly depend on the reason of the break-up. 

 

How do girls face broken heart? Hint: It’s not all vanilla ice cream-laden! 

 

·    They can be a bit aggressive – This is to counter your deadening silence. Don’t worry, most wouldn’t go over a slap and a pinch. 

·    They, indeed, have the tendency to follow you around – this is to check if you’re miserable or if the rumors (between you and an officemate) are true.

·    They tend to get more attractive – one of the many things girls’ question after a break-up is the how they look. This is because, long term romantic relationships tend to make couples comfortable, even with how they dress and present themselves. So, after a break-up, they start remembering their secret stash of face clay masks and other stuff like snail goo. 

·    If a lot of friend requests are popping in your social media accounts lately, don’t flatter yourself much, it could be her – this is just to check you out without you knowing it’s her. Okay, these days, it’s called stalking but usually its harmless. 

 

It is indeed a complicated world of relationships. To know more, remember that eBooks are today’s relationship dictionaries. 

 

When is a Relationship Toxic?

Relationships that have already turned toxic or are really toxic right from the beginning are sometimes difficult to recognize especially when romantic love is in between. What makes a relationship toxic and why do you need to think it through? One thing you really should be wary of is that, healthy relationships help you become more mature, inspire you to reach your goals, make you feel good about yourself, etc. In some cases, all of which that constitutes a healthy relationship becomes or is absent in your current relationship without you realizing it. The consequences are devastating and sometimes could cause too much stress, despair and even depression. So, in order not to succumb to too much negativity in your life, here are red flags you need to be aware of when trying to spot a toxic relationship: 

 

• The blame game is ever present even in your petty arguments - Regarding who is at fault is not the focus of this red flag. Notice when your arguments tend to be thesis-like where you needed to defend yourself over and over again. 

• Misunderstandings often turn to full blown arguments instead of healthy communication of feelings - Though it is natural to have misunderstandings in relationships, even considered healthy at times. Too much of it is a no-no. When you notice yourself answering to combat and not to listen and it is slowly becoming your habit in every misunderstanding you have with your significant other, then red flags are up. 

• When you observe yourself being okay with not being true (to yourself and to the people around you) – Authenticity is one important characteristic of healthy relationships. If there is a need to be otherwise, then the red flag is up. 

• When you unconsciously start the habit of “avoiding” – little by little, you avoid friends, family, and other things you use to love like biking, dancing and karaoke with friends. When this happens, the red flag sways fast. If a relationship requires you to change into someone you are not, question yourself and the relationship. 

 

What to Expect After a Breakup?

They say that when you know what will happen next, then the chances of getting badly hurt could be a notch or two, lower than expected. This is why, reading about expectations after a breakup, matters. What really happens after? Are you expected to be friends with your ex? How do you react when you see his or her mom in a grocery store? And lastly, will you ever feel okay again? Find the answers below: 

 

• Some experiences that hygiene becomes a chore. The explanation could be that you are so focused on your emotions that your physical self is your least priority at the moment. 
• Many reported wanting and needing to be alone for long periods of time. Well, this is understandable especially when you start processing the situation. Just make sure that you have a deadline for your ‘alone time’ as too much of it could be a sign of depression already. 
• Some process breakups for months while others take days or years. A simple reminder that we are all unique individuals. 
• Because of feeling too much emotions at the same time, appetite-loss or increase in appetite could be experienced. This explains why people lose or gain weight during the process of moving on. 
• There will be lonely days ahead. You are human, and relationships create connections, healthy or unhealthy bonds, etc. This is why breakups will make you feel lonely. You invested in it emotionally. 
• There will be times when a song, movie or restaurant could make you cry like a baby. This could be embarrassing to experience, but memories are such tearjerkers that tears could fall even if you try so hard to distract your mind. The heart feels, indeed. 

 

To answer the questions above is to say, NO. You are not expected to be friends with your ex. Yes. You will one day move on and become a stronger person. 

Kaizen Concept for Relationships

Kaizen is the Japanese concept of incremental improvement. It means making small daily changes that add up over time to represent huge differences in your life. The concept comes from manufacturing, where making a small improvement can result in gigantic changes that can hugely impact on profits in a good way.

 

This same strategy is often applied to weight loss, exercise, productivity, and finance.

 

But what about relationships? How can we apply this concept to one of the things that matters most in life?

 

Patterns

 

One piece of advice that any new couple should heed is this: be wary of the patterns and habits you fall into.

 

What many people don’t realize is that relationships – like people – are very much habitual. The habits you set down early on in terms of the balance of power, or the roles each of you take on at particular times.

 

You shouldn’t therefore do something once early on in your relationship, unless it’s something you’re happy to continually do.

 

For example, if you pick your partner up from work on the way home once, this is very likely to become a habit. If your partner goes into another room one evening to work rather than watch TV with you, this is very likely to become a habit.

 

This is all fine as long as they’re things you’re happy with. The problem is breaking patterns and habits that you aren’t happy with.

 

The answer? Kaizen. Small steps that add up to a big difference.

 

These habits can be broken just as they can be learned, but you need to start with a small step. For example, you might one night explain that you need to come home a little later, or that you’re very tired, and that you won’t be able to pick your partner up that night.

 

Wait a week and do the same thing again. Then do two nights in a row. Before long, a new habit can be set.

 

Diagnostics

 

Another way to apply kaizen to relationships is in a diagnostic sense of continual improvement. In other words, you can look at your current relationship and identify key areas where things could be improved. Then find small ways to do that.

 

This doesn’t need to mean pointing the finger at someone! It could rather mean deciding you both want to spend more time together, and therefore finding small opportunities to do that. Likewise, it could mean deciding to do more interesting things, and so maybe making a small change – like banning television just one night of the week.

 

How To Get Over A Love

Getting over a heart break is hard enough, but the more meaningful the relationship made up, the harder it is to get over it and move on. If you are at the point where you understand the relationship cannot be rescued. These tips will help in many ways - they will help to heal the pain, and they will help you to start getting along with your life.

 

First of all, make the relationship be really over - amputate all contact with him. You cannot communicate with him at all in any ways - not by phone, not by text messaging him, not by snail mail . . . Get it? Over means over. You need to be strong to come through this process - you could also start right now. Resist the enticement "just to hear his voice." Take it a step farther, as a matter of fact - don't annoy his friends by asking for updates on his condition. You do not need to know, and as long as you try to, you make things more difficult for yourself.

 

Secondly, talk to your friends and family. These are the people you have lived with, people you can rely on in your life. The chances are good that a few or all of them have been through with what you're feeling now- maybe they've some insights they can share with you! You're not going to get your life moving along if you just hang out alone - get together with your friends and family and go out somewhere, have a good time! If you pass your time with family and friends, it will preoccupy you, so that you will not spend as much time thinking of your lost love.

 

Third, do not keep your emotions in. Believe all the different emotions are inside you - why keep them suppressed? There are many different things you are able to do - shout, scream, cry, wail - just as far as you don't hurt yourself. When you are allowing your emotions come out, do not hold back, do not restrain yourself. The idea here is actually to flush out those bad emotions - get them all out of you. If you are polite and bounded during the process of getting over a love- that is, if you do not really let go of your feelings inside you and let them loose - then you are going to have a very hard time moving on from your love.

 

Fourth, stop lazing about pitying yourself - get busy! For instance, think about all the things you have promised yourself you would do, but never went around to. Advantageously, now's the time to get out there and do some of them! If you have some new pursuit absorbing in your mind, you will not have very much of time to spend thinking of your lost love. Think about all the different chases available to you - you could learn a musical instrument, or a new language, or do some regular hiking or kayaking. You can even take a vacation on your own if you care to! You will have a great time acquiring or experiencing new things, on top of it you'll also be learning that you are able to have a happy life and a good time without him!

 

The fifth step is never forget that your capability for love is countless, and you are never "too old" to find a new love. You'd be surprised how many times that happened when people think that they will never find another love same the one they just lost. Remember - it's always conceivable to fall in love and to be loved again. Who knows? Maybe the true love of your life is someone else waiting just around the corner, and it was necessary for you to break of your old relationship first. I believe everything happens with a reason . So if it did not work out for you it means that there is some thing or someone better is waiting for you in your future. As long as you get out there and make an effort, you will find a new love for sure.

 

These steps have worked for many other people in healing a broken heart or a break up and getting over a love - I hope they helped you too. Most of us have been where you are, I know that doesn't make it hurt any less. But, Trust me - time passing will help heal your heart. Take care of your heart and follow these steps, and I'm positive that your heart's convalescence will be rapid!

 

Mighty Precepts

Here are mighty precepts that will lead to success, good health and joyful relationships.

 

Notions

 

Most of what we get in life is the consequence of our notions. You're virtually -- what you think you are. But what do you believe correctly? Look around you. Often, much of what we think is invisible. Several times we accept others notions without question, believing without recognizing why.

 

Self-Respect 

 

Several times, we are our own greatest enemy. We're not cognizant of the might, the intelligence and the “awareness” that is within us. Our biggest challenges -- whether they're prosperity, relationship or health challenges -- may be addressed in a more beneficial way. Learn to free yourself of the detrimental self-worth instilled at an early age or accepted as fact by going through failure in some form.

 

Inspiration

 

Inspiration is food for the soul. We don’t necessarily lose it, but we certainly feel regenerated, restored and re-energized and our spirits get recharged as inspiration is part of our everyday life. Inspiration is the one accelerator that will guide us through the forest of disputes into the sunlight of success.

 

The Present 

 

The most potent time frame is today. Your might is in the present, not in regretting the past or being anxious about the time to come. Your strongest power is in the present day in and day out. Regardless how dark your past or how unsure your future may appear, determine how to utilize the correct power of the present to redefine the past and to make the future better.

 

Choice

 

You forever have choices. It’s been said that our one and only job in life is to make choices. Ascertain how to decide what’s correct for you. Find how the selections we make dictate the results and reality we see and the adventures we’ll bump into.

 

Change

 

Somebody once stated, “If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've got.” The only lasting affair in life is change, as without change there's no maturation. Discover the secrets for utilizing modification to your benefit. Discover how to grow, develop and create your own winning future.

 

Giving and Receiving

 

What do you contribute, what do you receive and are you suitable to receive? There's a famous affirmation that says you give, so will you receive. Find the atom-smashing power of how and when to give and receive.

 

Action and Inaction

 

There are occasions when the finest action is no action at all. At other times, despite what you do, the outcome will be equivalent. Determine “When to hold , when to fold , when to walk off and when it’s time to get out.” Timing is everything - Learn to be cognizant of your best time.

 

Associations

 

You, literally, are who you consort with. Discover how to find and be in the presence of those who on their worst day are always better than the best the ordinary person on a good day. Discover how to draw the company you would like and how you're able to benefit from their influence. 

 

7 Things To talk over Before Getting Married

 

While we have learned a lot of lessons about happy matrimony from research, we have resolved that what you do in the early levels of your relationship will bear on deciding the sum success and longevity of your wedlock.

 

Here are the most substantial events we discovered through our research that ought to be talked over prior to getting married:

 

Ø  You need to have a true and realistic discussion of why you love each other.

 

What don’t I Understand about you that you believe you need to tell me?

Is there anything that annoys you about me?

 

Ø  You need to share what you believe to be the “nitty-gritty values” of your love life (i.e., what counts the most to you in your relationship with each other?).

 

What are your religions?

How committed do you think you are in addressing one another with regard?

How crucial is trustworthiness and wholeness to for each one of you?

 

Ø  You should discuss whether or not having youngsters are crucial to your matrimonial relationship.

 

Would you wish to have youngsters?

What experiences have you had with youngsters?

Do you have a STD that may affect having youngsters?

 

Ø  You need to discuss how you see your relationship formulating down the road - what do you want it to be five, ten, and twenty+ years from now?

 

Where do you consider our married life in 5 years?

What are your desires for our marriage?

How will our union bear on your relationship with your acquaintances and family?

 

Ø  You need to convey to each other how you'll share decision-making in your marriage.

 

How should we arrive at conclusions about crucial issues in our married life?

When we take issue with each other’s opinion, how may we determine issues amicably?

How will we collectively manage our financial resourcefulness? 

 

Ø  You need to have an earnest conversation about the question - “Can you conceive of life without each other?”

 

What are your dreams for our lives together?

What do we do to assure our health for a long life together?

Can you imagine a day when we would not be together or we would not love one another any longer?

 

It's clear to us that these discussions are crucial predictors of the health and lastingness of your relationship with one another and, as a result, great predictors of the entire success of your married life. 

 

Based on the answers we have collected from the best and most pleased marriages around the world, the answers to these queries will assure you a great deal about the viability of your relationship and is a valid predictor of whether or not your wedlock will last the test of time.

 

Finding More Joy in Your Relationship

You are almost sure you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. This person has a special place in your life. You want to give them everything you can, but at the same time, apprehensions are looming. You are feeling nervous. You don’t know whether this person will want to stick with you for a long life. You don’t know where you are headed.

 

When such aspersions are raised within your mind, then you lose the joy in your relationships. You become worked up and you start worrying. This shouldn’t happen. Relationships are meant to give us joy, not sorrow.

 

Before committing to any relationship, make perfectly sure that you want to stay with that person for a long period of time, perhaps even for a lifetime. So, think well. Commit to someone only if you know that you want to spend the rest your life with. Your commitment should be meaningful and shouldn’t have any ulterior motive. When you say that you will stick with someone for life, then you should abide by that. And you should do that without expectation.

 

This might seem like a tall order, but if you do so, you are aiming for the biggest prize—claiming more joy in your relationship. When you are devoting yourself whole-heartedly and sans expectation to anyone, you are making your life more contented and peaceful. Remember that a person who doesn’t expect things to happen a particular way is the one who doesn’t get hurt much.

 

Don’t be overly possessive. If you partner says that they don’t want to come out with you for dinner one particular day, it doesn’t mean that they have lost their love for you. Think about all the times you spent happily together so far. Give people a break sometimes. It is all right if they speak with someone of the opposite gender apart from you. That doesn’t mean a clandestine affair is looming. You speak to people of the opposite gender too. Think about that. Do you always have an affair in mind when you do so?

 

Don’t expect your partner to change. All right, you like mussels, your partner doesn’t. There is no big deal in that. Don’t expect your partner to like everything you do. Don’t expect your partner to behave exactly in the way you do. Even in the very remote possibility that they do that, you won’t like it. They will become duplicates of you and you surely don’t want a clone of yours to be walking around with you. You loved them for what they were, so why try and change them now? It is highly likely that when they change you will find them too different and lose your attraction for them.

 

Keep these few points in mind. When you are looking at finding joy in your relationships, these are the things that go a long way. Work at them to make your relationship a success.

 

Tips to Earn Forgiveness Fast

All of us lie many times at one point or other. Most of us know the way to apologize for a lie. But it is not always so simple to get forgiveness, particularly if you have deceived someone about a certain matter that is very critical. Still, it is better to put out an effort to apologize rather than being obstinate about it even if you are not forgiven.

1: Flowers for forgiveness

In case you had lied to your girlfriend or you mother, flowers may help you to reduce the stress between two of you. Flowers symbolize love and peace. Flowers can work only for small lies that are not so serious enough to hamper the relationship.

 

Flowers will not seek the apology for you, rather you will have to ask for forgiveness and talk about the matter to get forgiven. You can use chocolates or other presents also to earn forgiveness.

2: Letters to express your sincerity 

If you do not have the courage to talk to the person about your mistake, you can write a heartfelt letter and acknowledge your lying. It can be the best option to ask for an apology.

 

You will not face any problem in writing the word or phrases, as you can edit them. Moreover, this way you will not falter, show any absurdity or get distracted from the point of your apology as may happen while meeting face-to-face.

 

Only problem is that your letter may not be read, particularly if the receiver is not mentally prepared to hear anything from you. It will be better to send the letter through a person who is known to both of you; so that you know it is read.

3: Keeping up the promises

Once you are blocked out, you may not have any other alternative than to pledge not to lie ever again. Of course, it is a difficult solution and you should stick to your promise all times. You should be firm on your pledge and never lie about it again. This is all a matter of trust.

 
You may invent several other methods to acknowledge and apologize for lying, but at the same time the best thing is to be always truthful. You cannot afford to lose your credibility. It is very difficult to earn it back once you have lost it.

 

It is true that we all lie many times on some issues. We should consider that we should avoid lying as much as we can. It is also significant that we should know how to apologize for lying. The above guidelines can be helpful. 

How to Save A Christian Marriage

A marriage is a union of a man and woman joined together by a sensitive and loving bond. It follows some principles such as to pray together, honor and respect together, give time to communicate with each other, encourage each other for progress together, honor and protect the marriage vows, avoid extra-marital affairs and thank God for your Mate & the life you live together.

 

If you are looking for ways on how to save a Christian marriage, then it is important for you to know that Christianity recommends resolving the problems in the marital life and saving a marriage. Faithlessness is not allowed in the Christian marriage and it is considered as a great sin. 

 

There may be some problems in marriage which may be due to extra-marital affairs, adultery, infidelity, physical, verbal or emotional abuse. However, separation or divorce is not recommended in Christian marriage. Divorce can affect the life of both the partners at physical, emotional, financial, legal, spiritual and family levels. 

 

If you are facing the same situation and wondering about how to save a Christian marriage, then you need not worry as you have various options. First of all, you need to talk to your partner and try to understand the problems in your married life. It is always better to seek the solutions by mutual understanding.

 

If the conflicts in your married life are because of ego, you should give away the ego and take an initiative to resolve the problems. Self-assessment is a very important step to save your marriage. Think about your mistakes and drawbacks and try to improve your behavior and avoid the things that may hurt your partner. 

 

If you are determined to remain with your spouse forever and worried about how to save a Christian marriage, then you should opt for some changes in your behavior. If the problems in your married life are because of lack of communication, start to develop good communication between you and your partner. You should spend some time with each other and go for outing. You should express an intense passion for your partner because if you are successful in developing love for each other, then other problems can be immediately solved.

 

Infidelity is strictly prohibited in Christian marriage. You should avoid the extra-marital affair, if how to save a Christian marriage is your query. You should be very honest with your spouse and should completely trust him/her. If your partner is abusive, try to understand him/her and understand the causes of misbehavior of your spouse and find out the solutions for that. 

 

If you are not able to resolve the problems, then you may seek advice from your friends, family or religious leader. Christianity as a religion preaches fidelity and if necessary, you can take the help of religious leaders from the church to counsel you or your spouse about what the bible has to say. This is one of the best ways on how to save a Christian marriage. You may offer the prayers to the God to save your marriage.

 

Many couples prefer to participate in marriage counseling which can help the couples to improve their communication skills, find out their differences and clear all misunderstandings.

 

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Prayers to Save My Marriage

According to spiritualism, the prayer is to discover and develop the divinity which can work a lot in every problem of life. It gives you emotional strength to fight with the problems. Can you believe that the prayers can help you to save your married life? Separation or divorce seems to be a simple term, but its effects on both the partners may be long-lasting. You may lose your economical, physical, emotional and social stability.

 

Divorce is also not good for the sake of the future of your children. Hence, when you feel that your marriage is in crisis and you find yourself helpless, you may start praying the god. You may ask the religious leaders about prayers to save my marriage. 

 

The prayers may be useful to heal the relationships and save the troubled marriage. They can help to overcome the obstacles in your married life. When you come to know that your marriage is in trouble, you get mentally disturbed and terrified. Your life becomes stressful and you may feel helpless, lonely and frustrated. To cope up with this situation, you should be able to control your emotions and face the problem with great tolerance and patience. You will be able to overcome the stress and live peacefully with the help of prayers. 

 

The prayers may help to improve your virtue of forgiveness and make your mind strong. If the problems in your married life are due to faithlessness of your partner, you will be able to forgive your partner. The prayers also help to improve your loving energy. If there is a lack of love in your married life, you will be able to create it with your ability to love. Once you are successful in developing love, other problems can be easily solved. 

 

You may be doubtful about can I really get the benefit from the prayers to save my marriage. When you experience the problems in your marital relationships, it is the time to review your relationship with God. When your relationship with God is strong, it fills your heart with intense love and inner strength.

 

You may strengthen your relationship with God through prayer through small acts of kindness, serving less privileged members of your community and philanthropic acts. It prevents worsening of your problems and relationship with your partner. Keep aside some time for regularly offering the prayers along with your husband. You may combine the prayers with visualization and give thanks in advance. 

 

Do you face the question of where to get the prayers to save my marriage? You may read the prayers from the religious and spiritual books that are available in numerous book-shops. You can get the information about the prayers from the religious leader. You may offer your prayers at the religious place or at your home. If your partner is not willing, you may find the prayer partner or do it alone. 

 

Build up the emotional and spiritual strength within you and request the God by offering prayers to save my marriage. 

 

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