Are your Toxic Friends Lowering Your Self-Esteem?

Do you have toxic friends? Are there people in your friendship group that seem to be intent on bringing you down instead of lifting you up? Your toxic friends can be damaging to your health and your self-esteem. 

 

How can you tell if a friend is toxic?

 

• Do they focus on your weaknesses or bad points, even if it’s “only joking?”

• Do they criticize your clothes, appearance, choices or actions?

• Do they let you down, like “forgetting” to show up for dates?

• Do they borrow money, but don’t pay it back?

• Do they try and pressure you into doing things when you don’t want to?

• Do they always talk about themselves and their problems and never about yours?

• Do they talk up their lives, but are negative or dismissive about yours?

• Do you have to make all the organizing for trips, dinners, or even just staying in touch?

• Are they happy and celebrate your successes? Or do they snipe or criticize? 

• Do they stand you up, even if you organized that vacation, dinner, or party months ago?

 

If someone is continually telling you that you need to lose weight, or you’ll never get a good job or write that book, they are not your friend. If they borrow money or your car or your clothes, they are subliminally (and not very subtly) telling you that you’re not worth much at all. If they treat you like a doormat, sooner or later you’ll come to believe you’re a doormat. 

 

Toxic friends are holding up a distorting mirror - showing you a negative reflection that is not you - it’s a part of them. But this reflection can undermine your self-esteem and leave you feeling powerless. You don’t need that in your life. 

 

Friends are supposed to add to your life, to make you feel good, to be there for you when times are tough, to support you, and celebrate the good times. Toxic friends continually let you down and undermine you. Bad friendships can affect your physical and mental health, leading to high blood pressure, lower immunity, depression, and anxiety. Research has shown that supportive friendships can boost your immune system and people with good friends even live longer!

 

So, take a look at the so-called friends who don’t make you feel good about yourself and decide whether you want them in your life or not. You can choose to let them fade out of your life, allowing more time to make real friends. 

 

6 Ways to Deal with Naysayers and Crush Your Goals

Taking a leap of faith for yourself is an already daunting and challenging path. Naysayers or Negative Nancy’s only make the journey that much more difficult. You do not need their pessimism, nor do you have to deal with it. There are several ways to deal with these individuals so you can move past them and crush your goals.

 

1. Distance Yourself from the Negative

 

If possible, put space between those individuals and your goals. Continually listening to doubt will eventually manifest into challenging yourself. If you cannot distance yourself from a naysayer, have an honest conversation with them. Explain that you don’t have to have their support, but their discouragement is not welcome. Be polite but firm.

 

2. Bolster Yourself with Support

 

Once you have pushed away the negative, bring in the support. Surrounding yourself with people that believe in your goals will allow you to be yourself and unapologetically go after what you want. The support you receive from others will act as reassurance on the path you are taking, and they will help pick you up when times are tough.

 

3. No Justification Necessary

 

You do not have to justify yourself, your goals, or the path you are taking to anyone. Everyone is different, no two people live identical lives or achieve their goals in the same ways. If someone questions you, simply say, “This is what I choose.”

 

4. Don’t Share

 

If you know someone you will need to be around think you are crazy for going after your goal in a big way, don’t give them ammunition. Avoid talking about your plans around them. If they try to bring it up, take the conversation another direction.

 

5. Turn Doubt into Motivation

 

If someone doubts you, use their doubt as motivation. Maybe that means making a wager or promising yourself that you’ll prove him or her wrong. Either way, do not let the uncertainty of others weigh you down. Most likely, what they think really doesn’t matter.

 

6. Embrace Solitude and Reflection

 

Keeping up the hustle to achieve your goals can be a lonely path sometimes. Give yourself downtime to reflect on your goals, how far you have come, and re-evaluate your plan of action. This quiet time will also fill your cup and let new ideas and motivation form.

 

Naysayers are everywhere in life. They are in your family, at work, and maybe even your friend group. This does not mean that you need to spend your life working within the parameters of their beliefs. You can move beyond their negativity and crush your goals with relentless willpower. 

7 Benefits of Living by Your Own Rules

From childhood on, we are taught to fit in. We do what's expected. We learn to be responsible, and we stop taking chances. After a while, this can feel a little boring. Worse, we start wondering who we are. 

 

It's time to take back control. It's time to live by your own rules.

 

You'll Like YOU Better

 

It's hard to have a lot of self-respect when you're always compromising who you are. When you stick to your belief system and act in ways that are authentic to yourself, you'll find you like yourself a whole lot more.  

 

Others Will Like You Better

 

You're not the only one who's going to notice the change. When you stop wearing masks and trust others with who you are, people appreciate your authenticity. This kind of honesty also gives them the space to be vulnerable, something which is hard to find. It's no wonder they'll respect you more when you're yourself.

 

You Bounce Back

 

If you fail, that's on you. Accept whatever lessons the experience teaches you and move on. When you lose by your own rules, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

 

More Intimate Relationships

 

How can anyone possibly fall in love with a fake person? When you're always showing the other person your best self, they never get to know the true you. Relationships grow and develop where there's intimacy. Intimacy comes from being honest. 

 

You'll Rediscover Passion

 

When you're always doing what everyone else wants, it's hard to feel fulfilled in your work. When you set your own goals and aspire to reach your dreams, you'll find life much more rewarding. You can never be delighted unless you are excited about but what you're doing. Here's where passion lies. 

 

You Don't Miss Out

 

Don't you hate regrets? When you look back on your life, what would you most like to see? Do you want to be able to say, "I did what everyone expected" or "I realized my dreams"?

 

You Discover Optimism

 

In the end, it's easier to look forward to a day where you know you are pursuing the things you are passionate about. Here is happiness, and a whole lot of optimism toward what comes next.  

 

You're going to find there are still times when you need to live by someone else's rules. It would help if you drove the speed limit. You can't just take what isn't yours. But on the other hand, in those times where you do have control, you're going to find you're much happier when you call the shots. Be yourself. Do your own thing. Embrace life. 

 

And only follow the rules when you have to. 

 

3 Essential Steps to Add Intensity to Your Goals

Do you want to know the secret to really achieving your biggest dreams? The secret sauce is to add intensity to your goals. Make them big, think big, act big. 

 

Often times, people fall short of achieving their best life because they run out of energy or motivation. The get side-tracked, distracted. But load your goals with intensity and you’ll be powering ahead. 

 

Here are three things you can do to turbo-charge your gaols with intensity. 

 

Make it All About You

 

Probably you weren’t encouraged to put yourself front and center. Did your mom tell you not to be selfish, did your dad tell you to share? That’s a great way to get on with people but putting yourself second or third won’t help you get ahead. 

 

Add intensity by putting yourself center stage. Make yourself the hero of your life story. Imagine yourself some time down the track. You’ve achieved your goals. You’re living your dream life. How does it feel? What makes you feel strong and happy and proud?

 

Build your strengths, lift your weak points, and focus on making Project You the center of your life. 

 

Dream Big

 

What’s your big vision? Do you want to be president? CEO of your own company? Do you want to win an Oscar? Maybe a Nobel Prize? Or a Pulitzer? 

No one got anywhere by staying small. Whatever your dream is, make it as big as you can. It might seem daring, even impossible, or boastful. 

 

But think hard. How do you want to make your mark on the world? Ramp it up and make it as big as you can. Intensify it!

 

That’s your goal. 

 

Go for It

 

Big dreams, big goals don’t mean anything unless you act on them. It’s up to you to make it happen. The longer the gap between creating your vision and acting, the less likely you are to do anything at all, and your big dream becomes a pipe dream, a might have been. 

 

Start by working out a plan on how to get there. Do you need new skills, do you need to reach out to people in your network for advice or mentoring? 

 

Most importantly, make the commitment to direct your energy into making your goals your reality. Ramp up your dedication and ramp up your efforts. 

 

Add intensity to your goals and your desires to achieve them. With determination and intensity, you’re already on your path to success!

 

3 Proven Ways to Make Your Biggest Dreams Happen

Did you know that your brain doesn’t know the difference between what you imagine and what has actually happened? It’s true! Neuroscience has proven it. Athletes and other types of performers have used the power of their imagination to overcome challenges and reach their goals for years. Why shouldn’t you?

 

So, let’s do an exercise. Start by closing your eyes, but don’t fall asleep. It’s the kind of eye-closing where you’re entirely aware of everything going on around you, but you’re present in your own mind. Some may call it dreaming, but the difference is this kind of dreaming is active. You’re going to envision what you want your life to look like. When you close your eyes and start thinking about what you want out of your life, what are the first things that come to mind? Hold onto those because we’re going to bring those dreams to life with these three steps: 

 

Allow Yourself to Dream 

 

Your eyes are closed, your mind is wandering, and all of a sudden, it’s put to a halt. It’s in our nature to be hesitant about dreaming big because we don’t want to fail or get hurt. But when you close down your dreams, you make it impossible to shoot for the stars. The next time you find yourself sucked into a vortex of dreaming, allow yourself to indulge in it. Then, make those dreams concrete by thinking of the specifics. For example, let’s say your big dream is to run a race. Dive deeper into that dream. Think about the type of competition, how long it is, and what it will look like to cross the finish line.

 

Visualize It 

 

We talked about the finish line—let’s really explore that. It’s one thing to think about a dream as a remote possibility or something that would be fun to accomplish. It’s another thing to visualize what it would feel like to reach that big dream. Actually feel the excitement and pride in your body. When you’re thinking about the big-picture goals you have, think about them more precisely. Ask these questions: 

 

• What am I wearing?

• How old am I?

• What does it feel like to say, “I did it”? 

• How do I celebrate? 

• Who is celebrating with me? 

 

Those are just a few questions, but the list goes on! Visualizing gets you from a mere possibility to a reality. 

 

Make it Happen 

 

The most natural step and the hardest step at the same time. The last step is to make it happen. Wake up early. Write down your goals. Put post-its up on your mirror reminding you to keep going. Taking that step is critical, and it’s challenging to do. If your dreams are worth it, though, it’ll be a piece of cake! 

 

5 Easy Steps to Start Visualizing Your Success Today

You may not realize it, but you are already a powerful visualizer. You probably spend a lot of time imagining your life, but chances are you’re more focused on worry and anxiety, not on making success your reality. How often do you think about that presentation or that date, and imagine the worst possible outcome? If your inner monologue tends to revolve around potential mishaps or anxious ‘what ifs?” then you need to switch up your visualizing. 

 

Time to accentuate the positive and welcome success into your life!

 

Know what you want 

 

Elite sports players use this technique all the time to improve their performance and achieve their goals. They visualize scoring that goal or winning their race. Imagine if a pole vaulter looked at the vault and thought, ‘oh man, that’s high, I’ll never do it.’ That’s setting themselves up for failure, right? Instead, look at your deepest desire, be clear about it, and see yourself soaring over that pole. 

 

Be Clear About Your Goal

 

The secret sauce of visualizing success lies in the details. See yourself achieving, even surpassing your goal. Say our pole vaulter wants to clear six meters. Visualizing six meters isn’t enough. They have to imagine six and a half, maybe even seven. 

 

Instead of a new job, visualize a promotion, visualize being CEO. See yourself winning that prize. Visualize your personal best and see yourself smashing it. Think big and ask yourself, “What would my life look like when I achieve my goal?”

 

Feel Your Success

 

Once you have clarity on what you want, focus your attention on what success feels like. What emotions come up for you as you imagine yourself living that life of success?

 

Start Making Success Happen

 

Success doesn’t come overnight or all in a bunch. You can start making your successful life today by taking the baby steps you need to build your success on. Every day before you get out of bed, think of three things you can do that day to move you closer to achieving your dreams. 

 

Stick to it

 

Successful people are persistent people. They know that true, lasting success takes time and effort. There will be setbacks and missteps, and plenty of challenges on the way. But if you have a purpose and a clear vision, you’ll make it. Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t give up

 

You have the power to change your reality to manifest success and happiness. You just have to start believing in the best possible outcomes, not the worst. Rev up your visualizing engine and get started! You can do it!

 

Why a Simple Life Leads to Happiness

Many people are unhappy, but they don’t understand why. They bought into the hype of working a lucrative job that enables them to buy big houses filled with tons of stuff. They have the latest gadgets that connect them to family, friends, and frenemies through social media. If they have all of these goodies, why are they unhappy?

 

You may be in this predicament and wondering how you can stop the merry-go-round of an overwhelming life. You might have entertained the idea of cutting back and trying this thing called a simple life, but will it make you happy?

 

5 Ways a Simple Life Leads to Happiness

 

Choosing a simple life might be the best decision you could make. There are many benefits, including that you can become happier. Here is how:

 

You become healthier

 

When you are healthy, you tend to feel happier. The stress of owning too many things can cause you to lose sleep, have digestive issues, stop exercising and eat poorly. How? You spend more time working to pay for all of the stuff instead of putting your health first. You may worry about your belongings, which can increase feelings of anxiety. Poor health does not lead to a happy person.

 

You enjoy the small things in life

 

Complicated lives produce harried people, not happy ones. You can slow down and take in the world around you when you let go. The simple pleasures like feeling the sunshine on your face bring lasting happiness to our lives.

 

You become more grateful

 

Dumping all the junk and clutter allows you to slow down and focus on your actual needs. Soon, you will find those things to be thankful for, such as your good health. Gratitude provides a pathway to happiness.

 

You connect deeply with your family and friends

 

As social beings, we need people. When you are flitting from one activity to the next, you have little time to focus on relationships. You may feel disconnected, and your relationships may suffer. Simplifying your life paves the way to spend more time with those you love. Deeper relationships leave you feeling satisfied and happier.

 

You can work less and still satisfy your basic needs

 

Simple living leads you down new paths of discovery of your actual needs. You may learn that you can live with much less, such as food, clothing, and shelter, which means you can choose a less stressful job, working fewer hours. 

 

Happiness doesn’t have to elude you. By choosing a simple life, you give yourself the best opportunity to be happy and live life to the fullest.

 

How Can I Live a Simple Life in A Modern World?

Living a simplified life takes some courage. Your family may not understand why you are forgoing a job promotion with a huge pay increase and loads of extra responsibilities. Friends will question why you stopped joining in on conversations on social media. You may find that some may question your sanity as you pay off debt and sell your large home for a smaller one. Yes, choosing to live a simpler life will raise a few eyebrows from your relationship circles. Modern life’s conveniences are supposed to make life easier, but that is not always true. 

 

6 Ways to Live a Simple Life 

 

Modern life is likely to get in the way when you have had enough and decide to join the growing ranks of people aiming for a simpler life. Here are some practical ways you can grab onto the simple life in a modern world:

 

Remember that living a simple life is your choice

 

You do not have to live a complicated, stressful life just because your friends and family do. It is possible to choose a different path that aligns with your values.

 

Opt for a basic cell phone

 

Consider how many interruptions you have from notifications on your smartphone. They are distracting and force you to be continually distracted. Look for a cell phone with which you can only make and receive calls. The price will be much cheaper, and your stress levels will decrease.

 

Remove social media from your phone

 

Even if you keep a smartphone, remove all social media apps. Sounds drastic, doesn’t it?. Scrolling through social media eats much of the time you could spend with family. Learn to only look at social media on your laptop at certain times of day and reclaim some time.

 

Pay off your credit cards

 

Debt leaves you a slave to the credit card company. They become a burden when you don’t pay them off each month. Use them only to buy what you can afford to pay off when the bill comes in, not to overspend.

 

Drop cable service

 

Many spend over $100 a month on hundreds of channels they never watch. Why do this when over-the-air stations are free and streaming services are incredibly cheap? You can use your savings to pay off your credit cards.

 

Live the simple life on your terms, not based on what the modern world thinks. Learn to live with some cutback, and you will be on your way to a life of serenity.

 

5 Ways to Live a Simpler Life

Many people dream of living a simpler life. Few achieve it. The idea of leaving behind possessions and finding nirvana is tempting, but it is not an easy task. Yet, the benefits are immense. You can get your health back. You can get your family back. Your stress levels will lower. All of these add up to a life lived to its fullest. Who doesn’t want that?

 

5 Suggestions for Living a Simpler Life

 

If you are up to the challenge of ditching a complex lifestyle full of stress in exchange for a life well-lived, then here are five suggestions to help you succeed:

 

Determine your priorities based on your values

 

What is important to you and your family? What do you want to achieve? What does a simple life look like to you? Once you determine your values, decisions become more straightforward. You say yes to those things that align with your goals and no to those that don’t.

 

Reign in the digital noise

 

Smartphones are wonderful tools that should be just that – tools. Ease tension in your life by turning off notifications when you are at dinner or in bed. You might even remove all social media apps from your phone. Unsubscribe from emails lists that do not serve your mission and reply to emails only once per day, not as soon as one comes in.

 

Declutter your home

 

By removing unnecessary stuff, you open up your home for those possessions you genuinely love or need. You can start small, like in a junk drawer and then move onto your wardrobe. You will feel freer as possessions no longer weigh you down.

 

Live within your means

 

A simple life is one free from the stress of making money to pay bills and buy more stuff. When you are in debt, your stress levels elevate. Instead, pay down debt and learn to live within your means. You will quickly learn to enjoy life without struggling with debt.

 

Become comfortable with being alone

 

The constant stimulation of technology and people cause us to be uncomfortable with being alone. You do not have to head out to an isolated mountain cabin and live as a hermit. It may even be uncomfortable for a while. However, as you learn to sit in the quiet with only yourself as company, you learn to relax and listen to what your body is trying to tell you. 

 

Embrace the simple life by figuring out your values and then take the necessary steps to live them out. You will be reaping the benefits of this change before you know it.

 

5 Ways to Interrupt a Worry Cycle

Worry is not something that comes and goes. Sometimes it sets up camp in our minds and bodies, creating an endless line of worry soldiers that are set on defeating you. However, you do not have to live like this. You can take steps to stop the worry.

 

1. Get Moving

 

Any form of physical exercise that you can focus on will also take your mind away from worry. This can be a walk in a park, a game of basketball, or even hula hooping with your kids. The important aspect of moving is to focus on how your body feels—the feel of your legs and feet stabilizing you on a dirt path in the woods or your hips swiveling to keep a hoop around your waist. These can help ease worry in your mind and the physical side effects of worry that plague your body, such as muscle tension.

 

2. Yoga or Tai Chi

 

These forms of exercise help you to focus on your breath and movements in a manner that forces you to use all your intention on the practice. Therefore, leaving behind your worry, even if just for a short time.

 

3. Mediate

 

Meditation is the practice of focusing on your body in its current state. Your breath, how you feel, and whatever else a guided meditation can take you through. Meditation also teaches you to acknowledge interruptions or sporadic thoughts, but then to move your mind back to meditation practice. This training can help you not to relent to worry cycles in everyday life.

 

4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

 

This practice calls for you to tense and then relax specific muscles in your body. Doing this can take deep concentration as you flex muscles, you may not be used to flexing, and then expending equal concentration to relax that muscle.

 

5. Deep Breathing Exercises

 

Deep breathing exercises can help lower your heart rate and focus on your body. You can find an array of these exercises online, or you can simply sit still and breathe deeply through your nose, hold the breath for a five-count, and then slowly release the breath for ten counts. Bonus points if you use a timer and work on lengthening your exhalations.

 

When worry seems to be attacking from all sides, take time to explore these steps, and interrupt the worry. Sometimes getting out of your own head for just a few moments can help you gain perspective.

 

5 Strategies for Obtaining and Maintaining Inner Peace

So, you’re working toward inner peace. Perhaps you’ve already settled into a harmonious routine, and you feel like you’ve already found the tranquility you’ve been seeking. Your journey doesn’t end there. Nope, it’s a lifelong endeavor of maintaining your happiness and fulfillment. It’s not something to fret over, though. It’s an exciting journey – and it starts here: 

 

1. It is what it is 

 

You’ve heard the saying, and you’ve probably said it yourself. But have you lived up to it? Every time you try to fight what life is handing you, you’re just creating a struggle for yourself. This is one of those practices that is ongoing.  Practice accept that it is what it is in each moment.

 

2. Confront your feelings

 

Stop with the “I’m fine” speech. If you’re feeling something (negative, positive, or anything in between), show yourself some respect and allow yourself to experience those feelings! Life is too meaningful not to acknowledge your feelings and let them be expressed appropriately. 

 

3. Pay attention to every facet of your life

 

That twinge of guilt? An overdue bill? Dirty windows that need to be cleaned? Often times, we ignore things that seem like “little things,” but over time, these things add up and pile on top of each other. Pay attention to your life – especially when it pertains to your wellbeing. 

 

4. Peace > Performance

 

Sure, we all love to perform well and aim for success. Sometimes it comes at a cost, though. If you notice yourself overpromising and working too hard, at the expense of your happiness, tone it down and take some time to find peace with yourself. 

 

5. Minimize clutter

 

Take a look around your home. If it doesn’t bring you a sense of peace, it may be time to minimize the clutter. If you’re a disorganized person, start small. You may be inclined to live your life among the clutter, but this does not keep you stay on top of things. If you make it a regular habit to de-clutter, you’ll feel a tremendous sense of relief. 

 

These tips are among many of the tactics to achieving and maintaining a sense of inner peace in your life. Welcome to the journey! It’s a long journey (lasts a lifetime, in fact), but it’s certainly worth it. You don’t have to embark on this alone. Peace is a universal feeling and an experience that we all deserve —gather your friends and family to join you on this exciting endeavor! 

 

5 Things to Do Right Now if You’re Experiencing an Upheaval

Life is uncertain. One minute, you’re going along, doing what you always do, and the next, everything has come crashing to a halt. Now you’ve been left floundering, and everything in your life has become overwhelming. You’re experiencing upheaval, and you don’t know what to do.

 

Thankfully, there are several things you can do right now, which will help you gain a clearer head and a better ability to cope, regardless of the disaster. Try these quick tips to help you regain your equilibrium:

 

Put on the Brakes

 

When things leave you feeling you’re running in all directions at once, the last thing you need is added responsibility. It’s time to start protecting yourself by saying ‘no’ when asked to shoulder more. This is you taking control where you can.

 

Vary Your Day

 

It’s so easy to fall into doing whatever feels comfortable when you’re in upheaval. Let’s face it, you want comfort, and there’s something soothing in repetitious action like watching TV, snacking obsessively, or sleeping. Even good things, like working through your inbox, exercising, or cleaning the house, can become unhealthy if that’s all you’re doing. The goal here is to mix up your schedule. Only allow a set time for each activity before you need to switch to something else. 

 

Drop the Device

 

Speaking of obsessive, set the phone aside. You don’t need to keep checking social media or your text messages. Give yourself a break. More often than not, the feedback of others is only going to invite you to obsess about the crisis and not offer much in the way of solutions.

 

Be Kind

 

Attitude is everything. If you’re feeling the disaster, start looking for ways just to be more helpful to those around you. Doing this takes your focus off your negativity and builds positivity in someone else’s day, with the side benefit of raising your mood at the same time. 

 

Take Care of You

 

When you become disaster-focused, it’s very easy to neglect yourself. Now more than ever, you need to eat right and get enough sleep. Taking time for yourself will help you reduce some of the physical strain an upheaval can cause. Also, feeling better physically can lower anxiety and stress.

 

See Your Future

 

Grab a mental picture of where you want to be in the future. Hang onto this image. By reminding yourself you’re going to get through this and be able to accomplish your future goals, you’re acknowledging the current situation is temporary.

 

Unfortunately, not every upheaval can be solved. Most are out of your control from the moment they hit. On the other hand, you do still have the ability to control your actions and the steps you take afterward. By practicing these techniques, at the very least, you’re going to feel stronger and more confident about your next steps. It’s here where you’ll find peace of mind.

 

6 Practical Steps to Improving Your Life with Positive Self-Talk

Negative self-talk impacts your life in more ways than you can ever imagine. Without realizing it, we become our own worst enemies, stripping ourselves of self-confidence and peace of mind. Left unchecked, this lack of positivity in our lives can start affecting our health, leaving us worried and stressed, unable to relax. 

 

Fixing it? This is actually easier than you think. It all starts with positive self-talk and following these six practical steps.

 

You start by catching yourself in the act. These three steps will put the brakes on negative self-talk before it can gain a foothold:

 

Write it Down

 

Keeping a journal is a great way to get a handle on what you’re thinking. Try writing down your impressions of the day before bed. This allows you to let go of feelings that might fester if allowed to run unchecked when you’re trying to sleep. Re-reading those entries later will give you a picture of just where you are. It might be you’ve been more negative lately than you thought.

 

Just Say “No”

 

When you catch the negative statements in your head, your job is to stop them before they form. The moment you recognize your self-talk shifting to something less than uplifting, you need to say ‘no’ to it immediately. Say the word “Stop” out loud if you need to. 

 

Snap Back

 

Psychologists have advised this therapy for years to stop negative thoughts. You simply place a rubber band around your wrist (one that doesn’t fit too snug). Simply snap the rubber band whenever you have a negative thought. Eventually, you’ll find yourself stopping those thoughts automatically just to avoid the ‘punishment.’

 

Next, try following these three steps to put positive self-talk in action:

 

Tone it Down

 

What word can you change in the negative thought to take the sting out? Instead of ‘stupid’ perhaps you were ‘mistaken.’ Instead of ‘slow’ maybe you’re ‘thoughtful.’ By paying attention to your words, you’ll automatically start shifting your self-talk to the more positive.

 

Switch Sides

 

Make a game of it. Every time you hear yourself making a statement in your head, ask yourself if you can somehow reword things to make your words neutral or even positive. See how many of these thoughts you can change.

 

Question Everything

 

Instead of listening to negative assumptions, turn them into questions. For example, “That’s impossible” can become “How can I make that possible?” Questions look for solutions while statements are already decisive.

 

By tracking what you do and acting with intentionality to change the situation, you’ll discover life looks different. You’re feeling more relaxed and can even embrace optimism. You start liking yourself a little more. It’s here where you start discovering the potential you’ve been holding all along.