Feeling Stuck in Life? Practicing Ways to Get Going Again

There will come a time in life when you may feel that you are no longer living in the moment. You may look at things going on around you and feel hopeless and stuck, like you are on autopilot and things just happen to you, rather than you being the one in the driver's seat any longer. Finding a way to get emotionally unstuck so you can enjoy life once again can be key o helping you get the most out of life. 

 

While many things can cause you to get stuck in life, from a mental health condition to a big trauma that goes on in your life, there are also many steps you can take to help yourself get restarted. Some of the best tips include:

 

Become More Aware

 

One place you can start when you feel like you are stuck in with your awareness. Consider an examination of your unconscious to see what is going on. You may find that there are cognitive distortions or defense mechanisms that are in place that make it hard to be aware of your surroundings. Even your default patterns in relationships could be to blame. Depending on the situation, you may be able to handle this on your own or may need to call in a professional. 

 

Take on Responsibility

 

According to PsychCentral.com, many people find it easier to blame someone else, rather than take responsibility for their actions. You may not want to admit when you have done something wrong, but it can be freeing. Stop for a moment and take an honest inventory of how well you are behaving and what things you may have done wrong. Practice forgiveness, for others and yourself as well. 

 

Detach from Unrealistic Expectations

 

We often find that we have unrealistic expectations in life. Whether you are a perfectionist or not, there are times when your expectations of a person or a situation are not realistic and it can lead to a lot of disappointment. You need to start looking at the situation and deciding if your expectations make sense for it or not, tapering back a bit if you end up adding too much that makes it impossible. 

 

Choose Self-Love

 

It is hard to get going again and enjoy the life you have if you can’t take the time to practice some self-love. The first step to doing this is to make that inner critic go away. When all you hear in your mind are all the ways that you are imperfect and not as good as others, you can feel down and depressed, unmotivated to get much done. Start by showing yourself some compassion and see what a difference it makes. 

 

Ask for Support

 

Sometimes, you need to bring in some support to give you the help you desire. You are a strong and powerful individual, but you can’t do everything on your own. Bring in some support to see how they can help raise you and make you feel better. This support can come from friends and family members, but be open to seeking up from a professional, such as a therapist, who can assist you in looking deep down and working through some of your other issues too. 

 

While it may be normal to get stuck in life sometimes and feel like you are on autopilot all the time, that doesn’t mean you need to stay in that situation forever. Learning how to enjoy life and jump right back in is one of the best ways for you to get going again. 

 

Making The Most Of Quality Time With Friends And Family

The relationships we have in our lives have a significant impact on our well-being. They help us celebrate good times, offer support during the bad, and fill our lives with companionship to help prevent feelings of isolation and depression.

 

Unfortunately, it’s always easy to maintain the relationships we have or develop new ones. We’re busy juggling dozens of responsibilities that we often put our family and friends on the back burner. Only when it’s too late, do we realize how much we’ve neglected one of the most important aspects of our lives.

 

Read ahead to learn how to make the most of quality time with friends and family so you never take them for granted ever again.

 

The Importance of Quality Time

 

We live in an age where everyone is seemingly connected via their screens. We scroll through social media like our lives depend on it. And we’ve convinced ourselves that by sending a text or clicking on a ‘Like’ button, we’ve done our fair share of social interaction for the day.

 

Yet, humans are social creatures. Starting at screens all day long is sort of the opposite of that, which is why a lot of research shows that excessive use of social media platforms is actually one of the biggest risk factors for feeling isolated, lonely, and anxious.

 

On the flip side, keeping in touch with friends and family does wonders for your mental, emotional, and physical health. This means talking on the phone each week and having in-person get-togethers.

 

Strong social connections make you less likely to suffer from high blood pressure, Type-2 diabetes, and other chronic diseases.

 

Another benefit of surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is that it lowers your risk of depression, stress, and anxiety. In addition, studies show that it can also delay the effect of cognitive disorders like dementia and Alzheimer's.

 

There’s also the fun aspect of spending time with friends and family. You get to create memories and build strong, trusting relationships.

 

Here are a few more benefits to gain from quality time with the important people in your life:

 

• Improves your sense of self-worth
• Boosts self-confidence
• Encourages you to avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits
• Helps you get through challenging times, like an illness, divorce, job loss, etc.
• Increases your sense of purpose and belonging

 

How to Make the Most of Quality Time with Friends and Family

 

Possibly, one of the things that get in the way of connecting with friends and family is that we’re too tired. Staying connected means staying active, scheduling times that suit both of you, and coming up with things to do together.

 

Yet, once you make an effort, you’ll realize it was just what you needed to make you feel happier and less stressed. To help you get inspired, we put together a list of 30 fun-filled ideas you can try the next time you get together with family and friends.

 

1. Try out a new restaurant or coffee shop.
2. Sign up for a dance class.
3. Visit an art gallery or museum.
4. Plan ‘Game Night.’
5. Hire a rowing boat at a local lake.
6. Make a DIY list of things that need repairs or touch-ups around the house and go through them one by one.
7. Pick up a new hobby or activity together.
8. Plan a crafting night where you knit, crochet, color, or pretty much anything creative!
9. Keep track of important events in each other’s lives and celebrate them.
10. Organize a clothes swap.
11. Attend a TED talk together.
12. Host a ‘spa’ night and do each other’s nails.
13. Gather stuff you don’t want and host a yard sale.
14. Enjoy a Broadway (or off-Broadway) show.
15. Sync up your washing schedules so you can meet at the Laundromat.
16. Plan a getaway for the weekend.
17. Set up a home tasting party.
18. Visit a make-your-own pottery studio.
19. Try an Escape Room.
20. Go bowling or Glow-in-the-Dark bowling for even more fun.
21. Invite your friends or family over for breakfast or brunch while dressed in your PJs.
22. Organize a Swap Clothes day.
23. Go shopping!
24. Go to a karaoke bar or rent a karaoke machine and have a karaoke night at home.
25. See a comedy show.
26. Book tickets to the ballet or the symphony and get all dressed up.
27. Enjoy a ball game from the bleachers.
28. Go jumping at a trampoline park.
29. Brew some herbal tea, sit back, and relax while enjoying afternoon tea and biscuits.
30. Attend community events.

 

7 Ways to Use Mindfulness to Attack Worry

Just like that, you’re frozen. You don’t know what to do or how to move forward. Your thoughts circle like vultures, waiting for your inevitable demise. It’s only a matter of time.

 

Worry has a way of derailing everything about your day. Using mindfulness, though, is a quick, easy way to get things back on track.

 

Stay in the Moment

 

You begin by taking a step back to examine the worrying thought, starting with the acceptance of the thought itself. This is the heart of mindfulness. Trying to ignore the worry only makes it worse. By giving the thought your attention, and then placing a label on it, you take power away from it. For example, if you’re worried about money, you might start by telling yourself, “Yes, I am worried about paying the bills this month.”

 

Find the Emotions

 

Once you’ve labeled your worries, identify the emotion accompanying it. Once you’ve got this, ask yourself honestly, what do these emotions make you feel like doing?

 

Kill the Worry with Normalcy

 

Instead of avoiding the worry, pay mindful attention to it and remind yourself this worry is normal. Do this every time it comes up. Eventually, it will seem less threatening.

 

Look for Patterns

 

Do these worries creep up at certain times? Using mindfulness means you’re paying attention to your thoughts in the moment. Understanding your triggers is a great way to keep the worrying thought from happening at all, as you’ll find yourself catching those damaging thoughts much faster and will be able to shut them down that much faster.

 

Redirect

 

With mindfulness, you’re very much aware of the worries the moment they begin. This also means you’re capable of taking control of those thoughts and spinning them around onto something else immediately, putting your attention there instead.

 

Allow the Emotion to Play Out

 

Worry comes with a slew of negative emotions. Mindfulness means you’re aware of what you’re feeling right now. If you discover yourself falling into the fears and anxiety coupled with worry, let them play out, watching them as if from a distance, rather than suppress them, allowing them to dissipate naturally rather than escalate.

 

Flip it Around

 

Worried about trying something new? Rather than avoid it, try it anyway. By reacting to worries you know are irrational with action, more often than not, you’ll find you really had nothing to worry about in the first place. A word of caution? Sometimes worry is there for a good reason. Be careful which ones you challenge.

 

Remember, the whole point of mindfulness is to be in the moment and pay very close attention to what’s going on both internally and externally. Worry really doesn’t bear up under such close scrutiny. The act of simply paying attention will change the game significantly.

 

Journal Your Way to Self-Worth

Journaling is a fantastic way to build your self-worth. It’s a well-established practice in therapy and psychology, and it works equally well for children and adults. Journaling can be art or writing or a collage or a combination of whatever feels right for you. 

 

There is a range of prompts to help you get over the fear of the blank page or to help you get over those ‘um, I don’t know’ moments. This article provides a few suggestions, but once you get into the swing of journaling, the ideas will flow!

 

• You can make it easier to break-through the ‘bashful barrier’ if you find it hard to find positive things to say - you can start at the back of the journal and work forward, write in a spiral or turn your book sideways or upside-down. 

 

• Write in your happiest memories and include photos of parties, holidays and loved ones. You can make timelines of the best days in your life that make you feel proud of yourself, like graduation, your first job, your first solo car trip. Work over multiple or fold-out pages, make double-spreads, include photos as well.

 

• You can use affirmations to remind yourself of your positive traits, for example

o   I am kind 

o   I am good at…

o   People really like my…

o   I’m proud I can…

o   I am loved by…

o   I feel good when…

 

• Think of three things your Inner Critic finds fault with and consciously turn them around – write down the positive in your journal. You can use your journal as a way of visualizing your goals – what do you want to achieve, feel or do today, this week, by Christmas? 

 

• You can also make your journal a beautiful object – go to an art store and buy your favorite colors in a range of media – pencils, watercolors, collage papers, stamps. Use glitter, stickers, puff paints – you can go wild and treat your inner child. Your book about you will reflect all the colors within. Or maybe you’d prefer something more minimalist – make your journal a thing of monochrome beauty, use lovely rich Japanese inks, textured papers, graphite. Experiment with pens, pencils, and brushes – see how many different lines you can make. 

 

Make journaling a happy activity. Something that you enjoy working on and reading. And then when you do have times when you’re not feeling so good about yourself, you have a tangible object to look at to defeat your Inner Critic.

Top Tips for Staying Inspired According to Life Coaches

The job of a life coach is relatively unique. It’s a heavy responsibility to act as both guide and guru to help keep your clients on track toward achieving their goals. That’s why it’s so important to stay motivated – especially when your day job is in motivating others on a fairly regular basis.

 

How do life coaches stay inspired? We can each take a page from their book to keep motivated and fulfilled in our lives. 

 

1. Life coaches set firm boundaries. You can't take on your client's lives or problems. Maintaining a professional distance is essential not just for the health of the client, who needs to learn how to succeed on their own, but also for the mental health of those doing the guiding.

 

How can you apply this to your own life? Are there people in your life who expect too much of you? Do you always give in? Learn why boundaries are important and how you can set them in a loving, yet firm way.

 

2. Life coaches remember to put themselves first once in a while. There's a lot to be said for ‘me time.' For someone who lives by inspiration, you must ensure you consistently replenish your energy, and your natural positivity is at the fore. That is crucial for success.

 

What does this mean for you? Take time for a massage or bubble bath. Read things that inspire. Schedule a date with yourself, where you concentrate entirely on you. Repeat as often as necessary to keep your mood positive.

 

3. Find a friend. Going it alone is never easy. Having someone you can turn to is healthy and necessary. Life coaches understand that too much time alone can lead to depression. We all need others to keep us inspired to move ahead.

 

A life coach would tell us we need to take time for close relationships too. Feeling connected and supported naturally leads to staying in a positive mental space, even when times are tough.

 

5. Journal about it. A life coach well knows the value of journaling. A gratitude journal keeps you focused on the positive things that happen each day so you can draw upon those experiences later as you need. 

 

For you, find the magic that lies in writing about the things that go right, that you're thankful about daily. A grateful heart breeds inspiration and keeps you from exploring the negativity just because others are.

 

You don't have to be a life coach to stay confident and inspired. But you can use their tricks to keep positivity high in your own life. Staying inspired isn't all that hard. It's mostly about remaining aware of the world around you and remembering to look for the good first in all things.

 

Top 4 Reasons Why You Should Aspire to Inspire Others

How many people do we come into contact with every day? Think about it. You talk to your co-workers or classmates. You brush up against how many strangers from the clerk in the grocery store to the barista who made you that cup of coffee? We spend time with friends, or we go out and do things with the expectation of meeting new people. It’s probably safe to say that in a week you've probably interacted with, at least on some level, a hundred people, most of which you barely talked to at all.

 

But what if you were capable of taking those interactions deeper, to the level of something special. Unique. What if you could inspire someone else, and indeed make a difference in their lives? 

 

It's a powerful thought. Of course, you can’t change every interaction – it would be impossible to get anything done if you did. But when you stop to think about the value that you bring to the world, the things that you know and understand in ways that no one else does, there comes the point where you have to ask, what if you could share that with someone else?

 

In short, what if you could be inspiring? It’s not as hard as you think. Here are four ways that will hopefully convince you that yes, you should “aspire to inspire.”

 

1. You can help someone realize their potential. Personal growth is a fascinating process. As you get to know people, you get to see them in their highs and lows. It’s where those lows occur where you can find an opportunity. A word of encouragement at the right time might be just what they need to labor on and overcome a challenge. 

 

2. It’s life-changing – for both you and them. Personal growth culminates in those tremendous moments where you might be just the person to inspire someone to change their path entirely or to consider a course of action that they might not have before.

 

3. The world becomes a better place. OK, maybe this seems a little over the top but think about it for a minute. That person you inspired might go on to encourage someone else. Or may build something or do something amazing. Imagine now that all of that started with you. Like ripples in a pond after a rock is thrown into the water, you never know just how far that influence will spread, and what shore those ripples will eventually touch. 

 

4. YOU change. Remember that you're not in it to see what you can get out of it. Inspiring others though has a way of rewarding you both personal fulfillment and growth. In the end, you’re not going to be the same person you were anymore. That kind of satisfaction comes with a unique special kind of happiness.

 

Aspiring to Inspire is a fantastic process. Give it a try – you'll be amazed at where you end up. 

 

Why You Should Choose Inspiration Over Motivation

Inspiration and motivation are not the same things. There is an argument that they are quite the opposite from one another. Inspiration is a strong desire to create, to reach out and make something or do something that never existed before. Motivation is a general willingness or the reason for an action.

 

What’s the difference? It’s all in how we express it. Motivated people charge forward, not letting anyone stop them or interfere with their process. Inspiration, on the other hand, pulls other in your wake and drags them along. With motivation, you grab the vision and run with it. With inspiration, the idea grabs hold of you.

 

Have you ever had an inspiration? You can probably remember every detail, the time it hit, the idea behind it, the way it felt. With motivation, that comes and goes and maybe you remember the project that came from it, but not in the fine detail that inspiration leaves on you.

 

And that is probably the most significant difference. Motivation wears out. Often it runs out long before the project is over. Inspiration can last a lifetime and take you to new horizons you’d never thought of before.

 

Motivation is like the coach that yells about “getting up,” “hitting harder,” “running faster.” It’s the push that we need to get over the initial slump or over that mid-point. Inspiration doesn’t need a push or a press. Inspiration is more like finding a new perspective, a fresh eye where you’ve never known existed.

 

You cannot teach inspiration; it can’t be passed on from one person to another. Inspiration comes indirectly, stealing into our thoughts when we don’t expect it when we’re clear-headed and often concentrating on something else.

 

Motivation is the drive to bring creation to reality, to finish the project, but inspiration is the birth of creativity. Inspiration can be a life-changing event that completely realigns your perspective on a permanent basis. 

 

Motivation is independent of passion. Motivation is often a replacement for passion; inspiration is passion at its most raw. Inspiration is an idea, a vision that takes hold and never let's go. People who are inspired are more likely to succeed, more likely to influence others.

 

Being motivated to a task typically does not motivate another. Being inspired, on the other is contagious. Inspired people catch others in their passion and create inspiration in them. It’s easy to get caught up in a dream and then dream your vision, making inspiration the more valuable of the two.

 

6 Tips For Working Through Your Mistakes

None of us are immune to making mistakes. Yet, those who have the skillset and confidence to learn from their mistakes are the ones who seem to do better in life.

 

By gaining knowledge and experience from our slip-ups, we boost people’s trust in our abilities. Not only that, but we become more capable of navigating life’s ups and downs with minimal stress and anxiety.

 

In this guide, I’ll discuss six tips for working through your mistakes. I’ll also talk about the psychology behind making mistakes, and how your blunders can actually help you become the best version of yourself.

 

So, let’s get started.

 

Own Your Mistakes

 

The first step in working through a mistake and learning from it is to admit to it. It’s not easy owning up to our oversights, but it’s part of the process of growth and self-discovery.

 

Also, try not to make excuses or justify your actions. I have to admit that it’s a lot easier to hide behind some lame reason or just blame someone else for what happened.

 

Let’s face it; we’re all afraid of being criticized and judged. However, when you do that, you only feel good for a short while. But then, soon after, the guilt starts to eat away at you.

 

So, while difficult to do, holding yourself accountable will be better for you in the long run. First of all, it’ll give you peace of mind. Plus, you’ll gain the respect of your peers as well as yourself.

 

Shift Your Perspective

 

Why did Thomas Edison have no problem failing all those times throughout his career? Because he didn’t see his mistakes and failures as something bad to be ashamed of.

 

Instead, he took them as an opportunity to learn. If he’d been afraid of what people might say about his repeated mistakes when he was inventing the light bulb, he wouldn’t have made history and become one of the most famous inventors of all time.

 

The same goes for hundreds of successful people. Yet, we usually don’t focus on their journey. Instead, we fast forward to the part where they became famous, forgetting that they spent days and weeks slipping up and trying to fix their errors.

 

Explore Alternative Courses of Action

 

Once you’ve trained your mind to see the good that can come from making mistakes, you’ll be better equipped to understand what went wrong.

 

You’ll also know why it happened and what you can do in the future to prevent it from happening again.

 

Yet, probably one of the most significant advantages of making mistakes is when you’re able to dig through the rubble and come up with alternative courses of action. For example, list the facts and devise other ways to handle the same situation or something similar.

 

This is a great way to take advantage of what happened and use it as a stepping stone to the next big thing in your life. As a result, you’ll find it easier to work through your mistakes and manage things more effectively.

 

Stop Dwelling on the Past

 

It’s only natural to find yourself fixated on that time you spilled coffee all over your presentation. Or when you stumbled on your way up the stairs and nearly ran into your boss.

 

Yet, dwelling on the past and overthinking are two of the biggest barriers to working through your mistakes.

 

Not only that, but they have a negative effect on your self-esteem. As a result, you become more anxious and apprehensive and have trouble moving on.

 

When you feel like your negative self-talk is taking over, you have to make a conscious effort to stop it before it gains momentum. Show yourself the same kindness and empathy you’d show to a friend.

 

The best way to do that is to make peace with your mistakes. Tell yourself that life moves on.

 

You can’t change what happened. So, the best way to get over something like that is to use it to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

 

Create a Plan of Action

 

The next logical step is to develop a plan of action. This is where you create a vivid mental image of what you should and shouldn’t do differently to get better results.

 

To start, gather as much information as you can and analyze it. Then, finally, put your plan into motion.

 

One of the best ways to ensure your plan is successful is to rely on new resources or skills. So, why not join a class or pick up a hobby? It’ll get you involved in new experiences while exposing yourself to new skill sets that you can use for self-improvement.

 

Make New Mistakes

 

No matter how old you are or what position you hold in your workplace, you will make mistakes. They’re a natural part of growing as an individual.

 

The only thing you can do is to make the most of your mistake and use it as a learning tool. This way, you’ll minimize their impact on your mental and emotional health, and you’ll be able to pick up the pieces much more efficiently.

 

So, the next time you find yourself slipping up, try taking a solution-oriented approach rather than dwell on the actual mistake. This positive way of dealing with things will allow you to think a few steps ahead to focus more on the solution rather than the problem.

 

Should You Keep Your Dreams to Yourself?

In 2010, Derek Sivers participated in a TED Conference. His speech lasted just three minutes and in it, he encouraged people to not share their goals with their friends, family, co-workers, or anyone around them. Derek backed up his reasoning with several scientific studies (listen to his presentation here).

 

In his speech, Derek says, “When you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it, psychologists have found that’s called a social reality. The mind is kind of tricked into feeling it’s already done. Then because you’ve felt that satisfaction, you’re less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary.”

 

Derek goes on to point out how talking about an important life change or goal can make you less likely to succeed. But those aren’t the only reasons you may want to keep your latest ambition a secret from everyone else. Here are three more reasons you should consider keeping mum:

 

Talking about a Goal Destroys Your Stamina

 

How many times have you told someone else you were going to do something hard? Maybe you told a co-worker that you’re planning on losing 50 pounds. Perhaps you told a family member that you were going to get out of debt this year. 

 

You may think doing this pumps you up and makes you more likely to accomplish your goals. But talking about doing something hard can actually drain your energy. You start to come up with all the reasons you won’t achieve it. You might tell yourself, “Well, I just can’t say ‘no’ to sugar. I don’t mind debt that much and I don’t want to change my standard of living.”

 

Sharing a Goal Can Discourage You

 

You’re really going to do it. This will be the year that you quit the factory job you hate so much and start your work at home business. Then you make the mistake of sharing a goal with someone else. 

 

The problem is the other person is negative and quickly points out all of the reasons you’re bound to fail. They may say unsupportive things like, “You don’t have a degree. You don’t have the time. Where are you going to get the money?” 

 

Within a few minutes, you start feeling discouraged. You’d felt so energized and were determined to act on your motivation earlier. But now, you’re filled with self-doubt and negativity.

 

Telling Others about Your Goal Can Damage Your Reputation

 

You’re always the one in your circle of friends with the big dreams. You love sharing your visions and ideas with other people. After all, your new goal is going to work out spectacularly.

 

The only problem is your goals change frequently.  You’re always pursuing something new and you rarely see a goal through to completion. While being a dreamer has its advantages, if you don’t pair your goals with follow-through, you can end up damaging your reputation. People will describe you as flaky and no one will trust your word.

 

Before you tell a friend or family member about your next goal, consider carefully if you should do that. You may accomplish this dream and become more successful if you keep it to yourself rather than sharing it with someone else.