The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

How Avoidance Actually Creates More Stress

When you have an especially difficult or stressful task on your plate, it can be very tempting to avoid completing said task. Or if you don’t like to think about a subject because of an experience, it can seem easier to just not think about that topic. Both of these situations are known as avoidance, and though it may be tempting to engage in this behavior, it causes more stress than it relieves. 

 

You Won’t Stop Thinking About It

 

If you’ve ever experienced trauma, it can be tempting to avoid all thoughts of things that may remind you of the trauma you experienced. Although this may be less painful in the short run, the truth is, long term, this will stress you out more because the thoughts of your trauma will always return until you genuinely learn to deal with them rather than avoid them. The same holds for certain physical tasks. You may put them off because you don’t want to think about them, but this will only stress you out more because you will have to keep thinking about the task instead of simply completing it now.

 

You’ll Run Out Of Time

 

When you put off a task, you may momentarily relieve your stress by telling yourself you will complete the task later. But this is worse than doing the job now because later you will experience more pressure as you are faced with a fast-approaching deadline. This is especially true if you haven’t left yourself enough time to complete the task and have to rush at the last minute. 

 

Avoidance Creates Conflict

 

Maybe a coworker is waiting for you to complete your work so they can get started on theirs. And if you didn’t leave yourself enough time before the deadline, you may cause them to be late on meeting their deadline as well. This can cause a conflict between you as your coworker may be upset that you made them late. And when you experience conflict in your relationships, this only adds to your overall stress level rather than lowering it.

 

Although it can be extremely tempting to avoid certain tasks or put them off, this is a flawed approach as it will only cause you more stress in the long run. This is because avoidance doesn’t solve any problems. Instead, it just creates conflict, which leads to increased stress in the future.

 

If You Want Less Stress and Anxiety, Learn to Empathize More

Stress is a killer. You might hear someone say, "The stress at my job is killing me!" They could be overstating the situation. In many cases though, stress can quite literally kill you.

 

Chronic stress is related to the six leading causes of death. It's believed that more than 75% of all trips to the emergency room or a doctor are stress-related. So the next time a friend tells you stress is killing him, you might want to take that statement seriously.

 

Ask anyone you know and they'll tell you of a stressful situation they experienced recently. This is an unfortunately common occurrence. You might have too much stress in your own life.

 

For a number of reasons, you can benefit from stressing less and relaxing more often. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, just learn to empathize more.

 

How Empathy Leads to Less Stress and Depression

 

An empathetic person can place themselves in the emotional experience of someone else. That's the first part of empathy. The part of the empathetic process some people forget is responding in a way that's helpful.

 

You see a coworker has a huge workload. She's stressing out and you know there's no possible way she can hit a proposed deadline. You communicate to her that even though her productivity is excellent and she's a great worker, you don't know how she's going to get everything done. 

 

You just paid her a compliment. You saw her emotions were frazzled and she wasn't in a good place mentally. So, you said something nice about her ability on the job.

 

The next thing you can do after you identify with her situation is to provide assistance. Offer to help her tackle some of her responsibilities. When you do, your coworker will thank you. She'll experience less stress, and science tells us that you'll also have less stress, anxiety and depression.

 

When you learn to recognize that someone else is experiencing negative emotions, you want to help. This is the response for most people. What also happens is that you subconsciously recognize that you're not in that situation. You can understand your coworker's emotional stress, but you aren't experiencing the same thing yourself.

 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a psychology professor and the director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory in Stanford. He says empathy can help you see past the many differences people have. It helps you move past prejudice or bias. These are negative emotions. They can produce a stress response in your body. Empathy doesn't allow that to develop.

 

Dr. Zaki also says empathy makes people happier in their relationships and even more successful at work. Studies show us that an empathetic person learns how to process his or her own emotions properly by being able to recognize the emotions other people are going through. That means being more empathetic in your life cannot only help others, but it can also give you a wonderful boost of less stress and more peace of mind.