5 Starter Steps to Self-Improvement

Let’s start by acknowledging that we’re fantastic just the way we are! Everything you’ve done and everything you are makes you you, which is a pretty terrific individual!

That said, we have to be honest with ourselves and say that there are things we’d like to see change. Maybe it’s how you deal with challenges or what you do when confronted with a disrespectful colleague.

 

These little habits or tendencies may not only be frustrating, but they could also be standing in the way of you getting an awesome promotion. So, why let them?

 

Below are five starter steps to self-improvement and feeling phenomenal about yourself.

 

Take a look.

 

1. Get to Know You

 

We take for granted that we know what we want. But unfortunately, no one teaches us how to determine our likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams. And it can take years until we actually know who we are.

 

One of the most important steps of self-improvement is understanding yourself. So, get curious about what makes you who you are. Once you become familiar with all the layers, you can start making the changes you need to improve.

 

Look at yourself objectively and ask yourself these questions:

 

• What’s my biggest motivator?

• What do I enjoy doing?

• Who are my biggest supporters?

• What are my core values?

• What do I worry about?

• What are my strengths and weaknesses?

 

2. Sleep Well

 

If you’re a night owl or just like partying, then you have to put your obligations first. It’s okay to go out with friends and enjoy a night out once a month. Yet, it’s a whole different ball game when you spend every night watching mindless hours of TV or scrolling through social media.

 

That’s ruining your cognitive abilities, as well as your physical health. Plus, it’s wasting tons of hours when you could have been doing something else.

 

According to the Sleep Foundation, the average adult needs between 7–9 hours of sleep each night. Getting that quality sleep will help you wake up fresh, energized, and ready to embark on a new day.

 

Besides keeping you focused and alert, good sleep boosts your immune system, reduces stress, and helps you maintain your weight. In addition, sleep can lower the risk of chronic diseases, such as heart disease and Type-2 diabetes.

 

3. Work Out

 

Your physical well-being has a direct impact on your mental and emotional state. Therefore, being healthy is important to living a high-quality lifestyle and not fearing what needs to be changed or improved.

 

More importantly, through regular exercise and eating healthy foods, you fuel your body and mind. So, you stop aching all over and start feeling energized.

 

You can go up a flight of stairs without feeling like your heart is about to pop out of your chest. Walking becomes your new mode of transportation, and your clothes look better than ever on you.

 

Combined, these things factor in on how you feel about yourself. When you look good, your self-esteem gets a nice boost. You become more confident to try new things or meet new people.

 

4. Stay Curious

 

Make a habit of learning something new each day for the rest of your life. Being exposed to new ways of thinking and doing has the power of changing the quality of your thoughts.

 

You get to see things from a different perspective, which gives you insight into new information. As a result, you can start changing how you live for the better.

 

Being curious doesn’t always have to be for young, eager children. You can do the same thing at any age to help you stay alert and active.

 

After all, if we’re not learning and growing, then we’re dying. Check out some ways to keep learning at any age:

 

• Read 1–2 books each week

• Take an online course

• Sign up for a class at your local community center

• Do something that scares you once a month

 

5. Celebrate Your Successes

 

No one knows about celebrating successes perhaps better than Nelson Mandela. He said, “Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead.”

 

Make a habit of recognizing your hard work and accomplishments and the sacrifices you made to get there. Be proud of your progress and how you feel about everything you’ve learned in the process.

 

When you look back and know what you’re capable of achieving, you get a fresh insight into what needs to be tweaked for the next challenge. Then, you can make changes where needed to keep moving forward and improving day by day!

Family Life: How to Simplify Family Communication

With all the technical advances today, it’d be easy to assume that family communication has gotten simpler. But families are receiving thousands of messages each day from electronic devices. 

 

Whether it’s the advertisements on your smartphone games, the Twitter chats you follow, or the Pinterest boards you scroll through, you’re being given an information overload. This overload can cause problems in communicating with the ones you love most.

 

Staying connected with your significant other or your children is important. Without communication, family members will eventually retreat into separate lives. To prevent this from happening and to keep your communication line open follow these tips.

 

Give your full attention.

 

If you’ve ever tried to communicate with someone that stared at their smartphone the entire time, then you know how frustrating this can be. It can feel like the other person is saying, “You’re not important to me.”

 

When your kids see you constantly connected to electronic devices, they may be less likely to open up to you and have serious conversations. That’s why it can be helpful to have technology free periods in your day. For example, if your child is a morning person, then consider having a no-technology rule at breakfast. This gives you and your kids time to connect when they’re at their best. 

 

Build a foundation of love and trust.

 

If your loved ones feel like they’re going to be judged, they’re not going to communicate with you. An essential ingredient to healthy family communication is kindness. When your child or significant other is talking, don’t rush to make a judgement. Instead, try to ask open-ended questions like ‘how did you feel when that happened’ or ‘what are you going to do about this situation’. 

 

Listen to body language.

 

When it comes to communication, few things are more helpful than body language. During conversations with your kids, take a moment to analyze their body language. Are their words defiant but their eyes are filled with fear? This extra bit of information can make a big difference in getting to the bottom of what’s bothering your loved one.

 

Discover what you want from your heart.

 

Understanding what you want and need from your relationships is an important part of communicating with loved ones. For example, it might be that you feel loved when someone performs an act of service for you or when someone offers words of affirmation.

 

When you know what your love language is, don’t be afraid to ask for it. You might say, “Mommy’s feeling sad. Can I have a hug?” 

 

Of course, your children can’t provide for all of your emotional needs. But when you express what you want, you’re sending the message to your kids that it’s OK to ask for support in the way that they need it.

 

Communication is a key part of any relationship. If you make a mistake in communicating with your kids, don’t be afraid to be humble and apologize. This keeps your communication lines strong.

 

Reflections And Intentions…

 

1. When a loved one is speaking, how do you communicate that you're listening? Do you nod along, put down your smartphone, etc.?

            

2. In what ways do you ask for support or comfort from your loved ones?

 

3. Does your family have technology free time periods? Why or why not?

 

Family Life: 5 Steps to Creating A Family Vision Board

A family vision board is a tool that can be a fun way to represent your goals as a family. With a vision board, your family can visualize what life will be like when you accomplish your goals. It can also give each member of the family a feeling of purpose while doing everyday tasks. 

 

It’s difficult for kids to understand that your family is saving money for a dream vacation when they’re eating leftovers or buying second hand clothing. This is because kids don’t always see the long-term payoff of short-term sacrifices. But when you have a family vision board, you can show your kids pictures of your dream vacation and encourage them to think about how much fun they’re going to have in a few months.

 

Ready to create your own family vision board? Here’s how to get started now…

 

Step #1: Gather your family.

 

It’s important that every member of your family contributes to the vision board. When your kids feel like they’re part of the process, they’re more likely to take ownership and work toward your family’s goals.

 

Step #2: Schedule it. 

 

You’ll want plan for time to work on your vision board. Even a small vision board can take several hours to complete. If you don’t have a lot of time for family activities, you can break up the creation phase into several small meetings.

 

It’s important that you make these meetings fun for your family. Consider having special drinks or snacks as you work on your board and encourage each family member to dream big.

 

Step #3: Decide on the format.

 

Now that you’re ready to get started, you’ll want to consider what format is going to work best for your family. Your family can create your vision board as a poster, a scrapbook or as a digital slideshow. If you’ll be creating a poster or scrapbook, you’ll want to gather plenty of supplies like scissors, tape, old magazines, and even paint.

 

For a digital vision board, you can create your board inside a program like Photoshop or GIMP. If you’re not skilled with graphic design, don’t worry. There are plenty of websites that allow you to create a vision board online. 

 

Step #4: Consider your family’s goals.

 

Now comes the fun part. Start talking with your family about your core values, people you’d like to meet, places you’d like to visit, and adventures you’d like to have. Where do you want to be as a family in five years? 

 

If you’re overwhelmed with ideas, it’s OK to divide your vison board into sections. You could create sections for academic goals, travel goals, or career goals. 

 

Step #5: Stay positive.

 

Creativity requires positive energy. If a family member says something negative, have them write that thought down then crumple the sheet and toss it into the trash. Explain that letting go of negativity is essential to dreaming big.

 

A family vision board can be a lot of fun to create. Let every family member contribute to it in some way. This will help you bond as a family and allow you to support each other’s goals. 

 

Reflections And Intentions…

 

1. Has your family created a vision board? If not, when can you schedule time so you can do this fun family activity?

            

2. What did you learn about your family members by creating a vision board together?

            

3. Looking at your vision board, how can you show support for each family member's goals?

 

Family Life: Stop Comparing And Decide What YOU Want

Kids have a tendency to compare their life to their friends’ lives. They might argue over who got more gifts for Christmas, who has better clothes, or who’s more popular at school. As a parent, you probably tell your child not to compare. 

 

It’s easy to tell your kids to stop this habit, but it’s not easy to model it. When other families in your neighborhood move to bigger homes in better neighborhoods, you might feel the pressure to do the same thing. 

 

When your friends travel more often and further away, you might feel that your family is lagging behind. Even simple things like your child’s birthday party can cause you to compare, so you spend time and money planning an elaborate party that’s better than their friends’ parties. 

 

Is Comparison Making Your Family Miserable?

 

Like your kids, you may feel the need to measure up and prove that you and your family are just as good as everyone else. But constantly trying to outdo everyone else can cause you and your family members to experience overwhelm, burnout, depression, and even panic attacks.

 

Maybe you recognize some of your own comparison habits or the habits of your children. The good news is that you can undo the damage with time and practice.

 

What Do Kids Really Want?

 

As a parent, you might be tempted to believe that what your child really wants is the latest gaming console, the best clothes, or the hottest electronics. But social experiments like Ikea: The Other Letter show that children prefer quality time with their parents to gifts and expensive luxury items. 

 

You don’t have to move your family to a remote cabin in the mountains in order to spend more quality time together. You can play board games, go on a hike, or build a fort in the living room. Even simple things like going to the grocery store together can be special if you and your child power off the electronics. By disconnecting with technology, you and your child will find it easier to connect with each other. 

 

How Can You Inspire Your Kids?

 

Another helpful way to end comparisons is to create a family vision board. This lets you and your kids define what you value most as individuals and as a family. You can use this board to guide you when making family decisions so that everyone feels heard.

 

You can also help your kids stop comparing their lives to their friends’ by getting them involved in events for those in need. When your child volunteers at a soup kitchen every Saturday, they gain perspective. They begin to understand that there are worse things than having leftovers twice a week. When you encourage your child to help others, you’re teaching them to develop an attitude of gratitude and creating a desire to serve others. 

When it comes to comparison, understand that it can take some time to change your family’s attitudes. Keep working at it and encourage your kids to hold you accountable, too.

 

Reflections And Intentions…

 

1. Who do you find yourself comparing your family to? In what ways do you compare?

            

2. When your kids start comparing themselves to their friends, what advice do you usually offer? Does this advice seem to help?

            

3. How can you get your kids involved in activities that help those in need?

7 Tips for Restoring Your Self-Worth After a Toxic Relationship

Well, that didn’t go right.

 

We walk into a relationship with so much enthusiasm. We think what we’ve found is the best thing in the world, which is a heady feeling for while it lasts. Sadly, when a relationship is toxic, we’re frequently the last to know. By the time we escape, our self-worth has already taken a hefty blow. 

 

So, how do you restore positive feelings about yourself after a toxic relationship?

 

Release Your Victimhood

 

The more you focus on what happened, the more you get stuck, so the sooner you can quit revisiting the past and dwelling on perceptions of ill treatment, the sooner you’re going to put all this behind you. This doesn’t mean to say this was your fault, but obsessing about the ‘shoulds’ and going back over every encounter is only going to hurt you regardless of whether you were in the right or not.

 

Drop the Blame

 

Was it your fault? Not. The sooner you can let go of any residual guilt or bad feelings about the relationship, the happier you’ll be. The next step should help.

 

Silence Their Voice 

 

The problem with toxic relationships is you tend to believe what the other person said about you, no matter how outlandish it seemed at the time. Now their voice is there, lurking in your head to remind you of all your so-called shortcomings at every opportunity—time to tell them to shut up once and for all.

 

Embrace the New You

 

Find joy in being single. Spoil yourself. Do that thing you always wanted to do. Take lessons, build your skill set as you build yourself up. Become your own best friend in a way that doesn’t require validation from any outside source.

 

Believe Your Friends 

 

You hear the compliments, but they’re going in one ear and out the other. Rather than brush off the nice things, people around you are saying, start listening. Listening until these words become a part of who you are.

 

Create Goals You Love

 

What would you like to do with your life? Too often, our goals reflect the needs and desires around us. Now is the time to reverse this. Accepting you are capable, and your goals are worth fighting for, what do YOU want to do? 

 

Affirmations

 

Work through the worst offenders of negative self-talk through positive affirmations. Take note of what you’re telling yourself. Rewrite the script and turn these statements around into affirmations that you read to yourself every day.

 

Remember, this is a process and is likely to take time. By reminding yourself of just how amazing you are, and focusing hard on these steps, eventually, you will start feeling the difference even if you don’t see it yet. Hang in there!

 

The 7 Keys for Improving Relationships

 

Human life is full of moments with people. These are people we build relationships with. And relationships aren’t just confined to people who are actually related to us—we can have a relationship with anyone we interact with. And it is because of this ubiquitous nature of human relationships that we constantly strive to improve them. In fact, when we are improving our relationships with people, we are actually improving ourselves. If we are looking for personal development, this is one of the most concrete ways to go about it.

 

Whatever the type of relationship may be, however simple or however complex, its enhancement basically boils down to the following simple keys.

 

Commitment

 

For your relationship to blossom, commitment is an important prerequisite. You have to commit to the other person in terms of your thoughts, your words, your expressions and you have to show it to them by investing time in them and putting in the right efforts to grow your relationship.

 

Freedom

 

You shouldn’t bind the people you are in a relationship with. Just as you want your freedom, the other person wants their freedom too. Respect that and you will find the relationship going forward.

 

Respect

 

You need to respect the other person’s feelings and emotions, likes and dislikes, wants and desires and so on. Respect them for what they are, for what they stand for and do not expect them to change for you.

 

Support

 

Being in a relationship means supporting each other. You have to help them in their aspirations and in their joys and sorrows. This will only get back to you—if you support the person you have a relationship with, they are going to support you too.

 

Equality

 

No one is higher than the other when they have a relationship. At least, you shouldn’t harbor such feelings in your mind. If you are connected with a person for some reason, then you need to think of them as equal to you. You need them just as much as they need you.

 

Resolving Conflicts

 

It is not that everything will be hunky-dory always in your relationship. There will be conflicts. You will argue; you will have alterations. But, when you are fostering a relationship with someone, it is essential that you resolve all these conflicts with them in a constructive manner, without demeaning each other and through fruitful discussion.

 

Trust

 

If you want the people you are in a relationship with to trust you, then you need to trust them first. Trust is the foundation on which a relationship is built.

 

Top 5 Relationship Killers that You Must Avoid

 

Relationships are made and broken all around us. At such times, we become apprehensive about our own relationships. We try to protect what we cherish the most. We try to look at ways and means how we can keep our relationship flame burning. However, at the same time, we don’t realize that there are things we may do that can destroy a beautiful relationship. Actually speaking, it is these things—which are mostly behavioral traits—that we need to avoid.

 

Possessiveness

 

It is good to be a little possessive about your partner, but if you are too possessive, then it can only backfire. You shouldn’t, for example, hog all of their free time. You shouldn’t be jealous of the other people they move around with. Give them their life to live; if you are confident about them, you will always remain the most important person in their life.

 

Restrictions

 

Too often, in a relationship, we tend to make people act in the way we want them to act. We tell them to avoid doing certain things they like and do certain things they detest. This is restrictive behavior. If you put yourself in their place, you will find that this kind of behavior can be stifling. A time may come when your partner eventually snaps and walks out.

 

Asking for Change

 

You need to realize that your partner is a different person. They have been brought up in a different way from you and they have a personality that is different from yours. You shouldn’t want them to become like you; it is best if they remain the person they were when you first decided to have a relationship with them. Even if your partner is willing to change, it will be unacceptable to them as well as you.

 

Complacency

 

When you are in a relationship, you have certain obligations. You need to do a few special things keeping your partner in mind. It is not just about remembering their birthday and showering them with gifts, but you also have to give them a good ear when they want it, a shoulder to cry on when they are looking for one and a motivational word when they need it. You cannot let your relationship grow all by itself; it won’t.

 

Competition

 

Even within the staunchest of relationships, there is always an element of skepticism. You shouldn’t do anything to aggravate that feeling. For example, it is best not to be too friendly to other people if your partner is feeling threatened by them. Casual banter is all right, but you need to draw the line with your other people when you are in a relationship with someone.

The Importance of Listening to Other’s Viewpoints

When you disagree with someone, likely, you don't want to waste your time listening to their viewpoints. Although listening to something you disagree with isn't always fun, it is important to your future for several reasons. 

 

You Will Learn Something New

 

When you take the time to listen to someone else and their viewpoints, you are exposed to thoughts that don't exist in your mind and perspectives you may not have considered before. And even though you may not like what you are hearing, you often learn new things by listening to others. This also helps expand your mind to be more accepting of new thoughts, which could help you be more successful in the future. 

 

Listening Helps You Develop Patience

 

As previously mentioned, being able to sit there and listen to someone you don’t agree with is difficult. You will have to have patience. And if you haven’t already developed the necessary patience for this task, just the practice of listening to others more often will help you to develop it. If you find you are struggling with the task, try to remember you are listening to learn something new. You can also listen with the intent to ask questions. This will help you focus on the words the other person is saying more carefully.

 

You Expand Your Network

 

People love when others listen to what they have to say, it makes them feel important. When you take the time to listen to someone else, even though you may not agree with what they are saying, you make that person feel better about themselves. And this can help you make a new friend or connection. This can help you on your path to success in the future as you never know when you may need to know someone in a certain field or area of study. And hey, expanding your network is always a good idea.

 

Overall, listening to someone else who has an opposing viewpoint from yourself will never be an easy task. But when you resolve to listen to someone else, this helps teach you new things and further develops your patience. Not only that, but it also helps you to grow your network which could provide unmeasured value to you in your future. Thus, it's time to learn how to listen to others sooner rather than later if you want to succeed in life. 

 

The Top Five Traits of a Good Listener

If you want to become a good listener there are certain traits and skills you will need to learn. Listening is a great skill to develop and it can improve all areas of your life. People love to talk and are always looking for someone to listen to them. 

• When listening to someone your goal should be to understand their point of view. Listen to everything they say before forming your own opinion, and remember that you do not necessarily have to agree with them. Everyone deserves, and should form, their own opinions on various topics. 

• Paying attention is the next trait. If you don’t pay attention you will miss out on important information. Always be aware of what is going on with the person who is speaking, and don’t forget to pay attention to your surroundings. 

• The action of making eye contact with the person who is speaking, shows them that you are paying attention. If you start looking around you, you are giving them the impression that you are not interested, or have become bored. 

• Try to look at their point of view and ask yourself if they might be the person who is right. 

• Allow the person to finish talking. This often takes a little patience, but it can be helpful for both sides. First the person talking can vent their opinions or frustrations. Secondly it helps the listener to fully understand the issue at hand. 

A good listener will also think before responding back. Again they often ask what if this person is correct in their way of thinking. People have the bad trait of speaking before thinking and this can lead to all kinds of awkward or difficult situations. 

 

It is perfectly normal for your brain to want to respond quickly, stop yourself and think before you speak! 

 

Sometimes it can be hard to stay focused on a person, it is normal to want to look away. If you find yourself doing this try nodding to the person or making direct eye contact with them. This signals to them that you are paying attention. If you really need to look away for a second, then muffle a cough behind your hand! 

 

Other tips that you might want to use to show that you are paying attention include: 

 

• Saying the person’s name now and again

• Using facial expressions

• Using body language

 

If you make an effort to put these five traits into play consistently, you will become a much better listener for it.