Tips to Save A Marriage

If your married life is in trouble, you should be able to understand the exact problem and then control the situation. Taking any harsh decision might be embarrassing for the personal and social status of the couple.

 

It doesn’t matter whether you are man or woman, whether you look after the kids or pay the bills, you should take initiative to resolve the problems in married life and maintain the relationships. This article provides information about some tips to save marriage and to maintain a healthy relationship. 

 

If your marriage is in danger, try not to show your partner the tension or desperation you're feeling. It will make him/her feel suffocated and your spouse will push you away. Always try to control your emotions and keep calm. 

 

One thing to remember is that never beg for the return of your partner. Just show the depth of your passion that will make him/her to come back. One of the important tips to save marriage is to give the space to your partner. A little space may make the things much easier to deal with. Give time to do those things which make you feel good and strong about you. Spend some time with your friends and family. Do such things that increase your self-esteem. 

 

Work to find out an area where both the partners can agree and be happy with the decisions. Always remember that the goal of a marriage is to help and support each other through sadness and happiness. Love is an important bridge in a married life that may keep the couple attached together. Show your passion to your partner in a new way every day. Use romantic competition and games to get closer or you may send a romantic message to your partner. 

 

One of the significant tips to save marriage is that you should understand each other very well. Then only, you will able to solve the problems in your married life without giving rise to conflicts. Your partner should be the first priority for you and you should know about the hobbies and interests of your partner. You can write a romantic poem or prepare a romantic meal or give a romantic gift to your partner. 

 

Avoid continuously complaining about the small issues and try to ignore the unimportant things. If there is any serious issue that you are unsatisfied about, talk about it clearly. Have open discussions about it with your partner. Get ready for facing the challenges. 

 

Jealousy may lead many couples to the divorce court. Hence, don’t ever be jealous about the professional and personal progress of your partner. Be honest to your partner and always have a strong belief in him/her. 

 

If your partner is aggressive, you should be calm and keep your emotions in control. Be reasonable, rational and calm. Whenever you lose your temper during the arguments, you generally tend to say and do the things that you actually didn’t mean. 

 

If your marriage is going bad, these tips to save marriage might be useful to bring it back to its previous loving partnership.

 

Awareness and Self-Determination

In the common world, people often overloaded with information and advice. It seems every corner you turn; someone is trying to tell you how to build awareness and self-determination. With all the advertisements and information is often hard to decide what you must listen to. When it comes to assessing the self however, the vast majority of people find it difficult task. This is also one of the prime reasons why most of the people disregard it as a frivolous activity with no positive outcomes.

 

Awareness and self-determination methods often present concerns that involve the processes of raising the level of consciousness and optimizing one’s potential to the best possible level. Despite of the many concerns it is crucial in today’s high-dollar world to advance in self-growth. People must learn how to control their emotions, fears, etc, to survive. Pessimistic feelings such as fear, depression, violence, and anger are spreading quickly among the municipal men like an endemic. Furthermore, the vogue fashion of pro-independence living, growing segregation amongst people continues to add to the loneliness and hostility of an urban man. In the face of such circumstances, it is virtually impossible for a person to maintain calmness and composure at all times. Many people due to these changes are becoming more irritated, frustrated, and confused. The vast majority of people are living life hastily working overtime and live and in chaos. Because of these complications it has left people have a little time to spend with the self. 

 

Inside of every one is a hidden genius. Yet because of the prevailing culture and the inclinations that drive people to materialistic pursuits, many people are undermining the power and strength of the inner self. On the other hand, a person who invests his time in building a healthy relationship with himself grows up to become more reflective, organized, and conscious of his thoughts and actions.

 

Awareness and self-determination have a couple of aspects, which is highly misinterpreted, is spirituality. Mysticism is measured as a practice preferential by sages who live in remote lands or the older people. Some people also consider it stroke of luck or a media hype attention-grabber adopted by some people in order to befool the masses by promising them inner peace and contentment. The world of religious studies is misguiding and often leads people off track. In fact, it is exclusively a personal choice whether the entity wants to practice religion or not. Unquestionably, it has its own advantages and can help a person to be at calm, if adopted correctly. Typically, our inner self is allied with the psychosomatic aspect of our personality. 

 

Sadly, the competitive world has forced people to try and outdo the other by competing fiercely. Many people embrace strong pessimistic feelings for their competitor, such as covetousness, revulsion, and maliciousness. 

 

Self-control is very essential for the complete self-analysis. If a person is not in control of his or her harmful emotions, he or she cannot sit back and relax the mind in order to carry out an honest analysis of the inner self, thus it will only create more heartaches for the self and the rest of the world. It requires a lot of audacity and open mindedness on the part of a person to amiably, correct the negative side through acceptance. What are more, accepting and working on it are two completely different things. An individual must be motivated and self-determined enough consciously to work at eliminating the negative qualities on a recurring basis.

 

It may be shocking but all it takes is little amount of audacity, motivation, self-determination and desire to improve and set free the greater qualities hidden within each individual and then convert the self to create a self-determined professional, personal, and social life.

 

Behaviors and Self-Determination

Some people struggle with developing skills because of particular behaviors developed from influences over the years. When they struggle with pre-structured behaviors or genetically related behaviors it often makes it a harder struggle to build self-determination. Usually with some help, a good mentor, counselor, etc, the person can develop skills. It may take longer, but it is worth the wait. 

 

A person's behavior towards a situation could also affect the way others see them. Their attitude towards others could also affect their behavior as well. One’s attitude needs to be adjusted for one to develop and change their self-determination. A person could be assessed in any situation so as to understand what they are going through for one to understand them in any way. May be a sort of group therapy may also help so as the teacher can pick up on any feelings you may have when discussing matters. Some people may feel better if they converse about things first to others and listen to others and their issues or problems they may have or problems they seem to face in everyday life. In a child it could be something that has happened to them emotionally or mentally. No one knows unless these issues are raised. If a child has a problem at home maybe the child feels better telling a complete stranger i.e., Counselor so as they can understand from the way they may see things rather than talk to a relative. There may be a lot the person may want to say and may be a bit overwhelmed when talking to someone they know. They may have a lot to say and feel nervous in front of someone. For example, you may want to feel less anxious or tired and therefore a session in counseling may be of help to you in some way or another. Counseling may also help in other ways if need be.

 

Considering the cognitive approach, motivation sometimes crosses over the lines of theory. For instance, implicit motives can set in motion or cause someone unknowingly to react to something when the person is unaware of his or her intentions. By training the mind to learn while focusing on the objective, you can help one to reform unconstructive behaviors. Sometimes counselors will use priming methods to measure the patient’s contained memory. The process involves scrambling letters. Once the letters are jumbled the entity is asked to choose some words from the letters. The letters in the first instance should relate to success while in the second instance it should relate to relationship. 

During these tests, patients that chose the success often showed higher degrees of motivation than those that were confined to relationships. Each party during these tests is often prepared with success-related terms or words. You might try the priming methods at home to see if your child can progress and build his or her motivation. 

 

Aside from the priming method, you have other methods to consider to help your child develop motivation and self-determination. It is a proven fact that we often develop behaviors whether consciously or not, and in time unconscious influences that enforced the behaviors upon us will display themselves in our behavior. We must constantly stay on guard to defend our human rights and to make sure that others are not influencing our behaviors. 

 

Another good strategy that you can use is the pro and con measurement test. This test will help your child see the benefits of balance, good skills, motivation, etc, and see the consequences of the cons. It is an effective therapeutic strategy that works.

 

Conduct and Self-Determination

Learning how to reform your conduct, which makes up your behaviours and habits, can help you successfully maintain self-determination. When you reform your ways, likely you will follow find the strength to advance into the future to find your success. Don’t waste precious time patronizing or allowing others to patronize you, rather find the positive, and use it to your advantage. You cannot change anyone but yourself. Many people make this major mistake in relationships. They often focus on changing their mate rather than changing their ways. The main thing you need to do is to hold on to your self-determination and reform your habits, learn to trust, and respect you so that you grow strong. 

 

Some beneficial conducts you may want to develop is a chaste. Chaste is a pure individual, innocent of lies, or other behaviours that create negative emotional charges. Thus, honesty is a policy you want to conform, relate, and stand up to make your skills stronger. Trustworthy is another good quality. When you demonstrate trustworthy to others, they will honour you and feel good about discussing issues they may have with you. You will find that people are more willing to follow your lead when you are trustworthy. 

 

Virtuous and honest person is someone with righteous qualities, yet not someone that uses biblical commands to their advantage. When you have virtue, you show upright conduct, moral traits, etc that makes others want to fall in your lap and ask you how did you do it? By developing these qualities, you will inspire others to join you. As people, we are by nature gregarious. By this, I mean we as humans will find it difficult when we isolate from others, especially if we are close with others. As humans, we need to love and feel loved. We have a need to express and show and seek companionship, yet our social skills are something we need to review to make sure others will welcome us. Again, you want to build chaste, virtues and other useful qualities that will guarantee take you to success. Therefore, you can develop self-determination if you are willing to work in harmony with the self. When you have synchronization, you can make anything happen. 

 

Moreover, when you focus on the here and now you boost your ability to use your common-sense. Practically, human development is a long process, so hang tuff, and hold on to self-determination. You may use common-sense to compare what your child will need to make you happy. For instance, compare a child to you so that you see the balance and medium of taking care of you, i.e., the equilibrium. Would you like to lie around in wet clothes? Logically, you would not. This is an example, since surely no loving parent is going to permit their child insufficient care by letting them rest in a wet diaper. Therefore, use common-sense when you are taking care of you. 

 

You may not realize it but if you are adjusting, you are dealing with some negative emotions buried in your subconscious mind. These fears develop and hide frustration, uncertainty and the fear of failure. By ignoring these emotions, you only set yourself up for failure. Turn this around by removing any doubts you may have. If you have doubts of your ability, reach inside of you and make an assessment to determine where the doubt is coming from within you. Spending time with you will help you to grow stronger and hold onto your self-determination. You can also ask someone you trust to help you reach inside to find answers. The person can give you some support. 

 

Love among People Leads to a Happy Life

In this world, man has a common psychology to be happy. However, this is such a feeling that not many people can feel it. Most of the people today spend a major part of their time to gather wealth, which they believe, can bring them happiness. However, it is only after the wealth gathers that they feel unhappy. 

 

Let us consider what the opposite of love, that is, Hatred does. Hatred creates hostility and hostility in turn robs one of peace of mind. A person who does not have peace of mind cannot be happy. In addition, when hatred reaches its peak, it sometimes results in physical violence. Stabbings and murders take place because of rabid hatred. Happiness, for sure, eludes both the murdered and murderer. So, why hate and be unhappy? Is it not better to love and achieve happiness? Alas, when it is so easy to be happy, a large majority continues to be unhappy. 

 

Where the feelings love is inspires in people? Love feels a person with noble feelings: compassion, sacrifice, sympathy, and understanding, welfare of the beloved at one’s own cost, tenderness and sweetness. A lover is forever ready to lay down his life, if an occasion arises, for his beloved. In addition, he is more concerned about the welfare of his beloved. If in any event he is not able to get his beloved in marriage, he does not wish her ill. On the contrary, he parts from her, though sadly, but wishes her happiness in life. 

 

If love alone could be adopted as the guiding principle of individual’s lives, there would be no quarrels and divorces between married. There would be no friction between parents and children, no bitterness between friends, and no exploitation of man-by-man. History reveals that tyrants that have invariable been loveless men – people who did not receive love in their childhood and adolescent years which hardened into ruthless power seekers. Lack of love in a child’s life can play havoc with his personality and mental makeup. 

 

Love alone can alleviate many ills of the society and is undoubtedly the basis of a happy life. Extended to international sphere, if the nations of the world practiced this wonderful principle, there would be no wars, no large-scale massacres, and no widespread destruction. 

 

Accept the Pleasures and Pains of Life to Make It Beautiful

In this busy world today, man is always in a hurry. Due to this hurry, they are always competing with each other and it in the process, it is definite that one will win and the other will lose. When a man achieves something or wins, he or she gets a feeling of highness, whereas when he or she loses, he or she gets doomed or becomes pessimistic. It is a known fact that in this earth when the sun rises in one part of this hemisphere, the other part is in darkness. The same fact applies to life too, there are both sorrows and pleasures in life. 

 

Thus, life is like a boat sailing on the sea that always does not flow smoothly. A child is thumped to weep because only then its lungs begin to function. In fact, tears are as necessary for a person as oxygen itself. In excessive happiness, tears trickle down his cheeks because sufferings are their symbols – tears maintain a healthy balance in life. If a person does not realize the pain or suffering of life, then he cannot understand the joy of life. To him, the sense of proportion gets lost. Therefore, often out of pleasures rises pain to strike a balance. 

 

Every person must accept the pains of life, to understand the real meaning of joy. Otherwise, you cannot feel the joy. As autumn must come in the course of a year, similarly sorrows invariably follow every human being. If a person suffers pain, then the tears that flow out of his or her eyes softens the taut and tense strings of his heart and mind. In fact, the mist over the mind disappears in the form of tears and calmness dawns there.

 

Some people have the notion that life is only about sufferings. These types of people forget the happiness they enjoyed during the past times. Their bleared eyes get shortsighted that they forget to feel the basic law that happiness will re-visit them once again in the future. The basic law of life is happiness and sorrow co-exist with one another. Without one, the other is useless. Thorns of life serve as a fence to protect the flowers of delight and sunlight. Even, Shelley – the great English poet said, “Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.” 

 

In fact, comedy and tragedy make the warp and woof of life. All the patterns of experience are woven with these contrasting threads. Smiles are sighs and spice to life which otherwise becomes dull and monotonous. Even in scriptures, it is written to take joys and sufferings placidly without any hesitation. He is exhorted not to be overly happy when success visits him and not to fear when pains and misery affects him. The greatest of men on earth, all have suffered both the pleasures and pains. This is life and you have to derive pleasure from life in this way.

 

The Concepts of Coaching and Mentoring

Guiding people through the right way through life can be a daunting task for any person who is tasked to do it. A person who has to do the guiding has a lot of delicate balances to strike: he or she has to be strong enough to reprimand the person who is following him or her when that follower is not being obedient or is straying from the right path; on the other hand, he or she has to sometimes allow the follower the chance to stray, so that the follower can gain experience and thus be much wiser. There are many different things that a person has to do to guide his or her follower or followers, and these concepts of guidance are covered under coaching and mentoring.

 

The process of mentoring involves the relationship and bonding between master and pupil, a togetherness that is more commonly referred to as mentor and protégée. A mentor is someone who may sometimes be older, but who is certainly more knowledgeable, wiser, and perhaps even more serene and settled than what might predictably be a less knowledgeable, less wise, and flighty protégée. The mentor’s task is to be the guide for the inexperienced protégée: as the protégée learns more and more from the mentor, the protégée is farther thrust into greatness.

 

The mentor-protégée relationship has long existed in history, and has been glorified by pop media. There are also many different mentor-protégée relationships in the modern world. For instance, when an employee first enters a company or business, he or she is adopted by someone who has been in the company or business for a long while. Because a new employee might experience culture shock, or might not be prepared for the rigors of the current workplace, the mentor serves as a buffer and guide through how the company or business operates, making the transition easier for the protégée.

 

Still in line with workplace relationships, an existing employee might show potential as someone who could one day lead, or who could move on and be great elsewhere. In this case, a person experienced in the company could informally take on this employee and be his or her mentor. In this relationship, the mentor will teach the protégée the necessary skills to advance in the workplace, so that one day, the protégée might perhaps take the mentor’s place, advance elsewhere in the hierarchy, or move on to another company and do even better.

 

The concept of coaching, on the other hand, is quite different from that of mentoring. In coaching, a method is employed in which a leader or overseer directs the movements of a person or a group of persons. In coaching, the instruction and training given are done with a definite end goal in mind. The methods of directing people’s movements and thought process might include giving motivational talks. There are also ways to train people in order to make them perform better, such as through seminars or workshops, or through practice, such as those done by sports teams.

 

In mentoring, a mentor teaches a protégée how to live better or how to function better. In coaching, perhaps better seen as a more specific method of mentoring, the coach guides his or her team in order for them to meet an end goal. For sports coaches, this will mean victory in a game. For marriage coaches, this will mean a stronger marital bond. For family coaches, this will mean a stronger familial bond, between parents and children, and sometimes, amongst the children themselves.

 

There are many different kinds of mentoring and coaching, as well as different techniques associated with each. For more information, you can talk to professional mentors and coaches, or do more research online.

 

Breaking the Ice: An Important Part of Mentoring

When mentoring is mentioned, what comes into anyone’s mind? It could be Socrates and Plato. Or it could be Jesus the Christ and his disciples. Whether these men used ‘ice breakers’ to make their students feel at ease, we would never know. But for sure, ice breaking exercises open doors for both mentor and student relationship or student to student relationship. 

 

Mentoring is doing something valuable such as leading a less experienced individual to improve aspects in his life. It could be his faith, his skills or even simple time management. But even if you are the best mentor in the whole world, you would still need to break that barrier that comes with the stranger whom you will now teach. And this is the area where ice breakers come in.

 

An ice breaking exercise need not be an unruly game. In fact, it doesn’t always come in the form of a game. Sometimes, ice breaking exercises could simply mean the mentor introducing himself to his students and encouraging them to do the same. It could also be storytelling time for everyone. The main purpose is to make the students relax and feel comfortable. 

 

An effective ice breaker is one that suits its participants. A more serious group could feel at ease with open forums or storytelling while an active group could easily relax physical activities. Ice breakers should also avoid activities that coerce communication, games that are not related to the course, games that take too long to finish, or activities that foster cultural biases. 

 

In finding the perfect activities for a mentoring session, it is also important to consider the time factor. How long will the mentoring last? Would it take a week or two? Or will it only last for two days? You should be able to suit the activities to the available time that you have. 

 

Here are some tips on making your games or discussions much more interesting:

 

1. Be enthusiastic. Feel the game. You should be able to explain the mechanics with much liveliness in your voice. An important part of this is to know every detail of the game. You don’t want to be caught unaware that you are confused with the game yourself.

 

2. Experiment with a different game each time. Variety displaces boredom (which the mentor might feel once he gets familiar with the activity). 

 

3. Bring props. Funny props create funny moments. Make fun of anything except someone from the group.

 

4. Encourage each member of the group to participate. Don’t leave anyone out. But if someone is implying that he is still not ready to be open or active, then respect his desire.

 

5. The mentor should actively participate in all given activities and not watch from a corner after explaining the mechanics. 

 

6. Make fun of situations that are outside of the circle. Be careful of sensitive topics such as politics, religion, sexual preference, etc. 

 

The most important part of mentoring is achieving the student’s goal which is academic, religious or social improvement. Although ice breaking exercises are fun activities, they are still a necessary part of the mentoring program. In fact, it’s so important that it’s considered as the key that opens closed gates. With that in mind, participants should pay more attention and participate more on their next ice breaker. 

Why Join a Mentoring Program?

Joining a mentoring program is a very powerful tool that can help you reach your potential because of the training and empowerment it provides. Mentoring is also one of the most effective ways for you to advance in your career because your skills are developed and your performance is monitored. In short, mentoring enables you to be the person you really want to be. 

 

Two-Way Relationship

 

It is important to realize though that mentoring is a relationship between two people who trust and respect each other. Mentoring is not simply a teacher-student relationship; rather, it is a partnership that will help both the mentor and the mentee grow both personally and professionally. 

 

The mentor can aid the mentee so that he can find the right direction he should take in his career. The mentors will usually rely on their own experiences in the past and their knowledge about the industry. Because of this, mentoring can be a great way for a mentee to understand his career options and progress professionally in the future.

 

Most of the time, having a mentor will boost the confidence and the self-assurance of a mentee because he has all the support, encouragement, and guidance he needs. But the mentors should also take note that challenging the mentee to do his best is the best thing they can do so that the mentee will know how to handle difficult situations the right way in the future. 

 

As was mentioned earlier, a mentoring program is a two-way relationship; so likewise, the mentor can also expect that he will learn a lot from teaching and guiding another person. This will develop his management and leadership skills so he will develop empathy for people who is experiencing the same struggles he did in the past. 

 

Benefits of a Mentoring Program

 

A mentor will help a mentee believe in his or her capabilities as a person. Because of this, the self-confidence of the mentee will be improved and they will be more apt to accept more challenges in the future. The mentor would also enable the mentee to explore new ideas so that you can achieve a higher level of self-assurance in yourself and explore even greater highs of success. The mentoring program will be an opportunity for you to take a deeper look at yourself, your goals, your personality, and your life. This will enable you to know which the right path you should take in life is. 

 

Features You Should Look For

 

Of course, it is inevitable that some mentoring programs would be better than others because of the features and objectives provided by the specific program. For example, it would be better for you to get a mentor from outside the company so that you will get an unbiased view of what you should do regardless of who your boss is. The mentoring program would not be entirely effective if your mentor knows your boss as well. 

 

Likewise, the things that are discussed during the mentorship program should always remain confidential between the mentor and the mentee. And lastly, the mentorship program should be focused on the person. The mentor should be aware of the everyday challenges that his mentee faces so that these issues can be faced accordingly and enable the mentee to succeed in his career.