How to Speed Read

Looking to save yourself time and get more done in the small amounts of time you do have in the day? 

 

Then how about trying to speed read? 

 

Speed read is the process of scanning through text while at the same time still taking in all the information. This is something some people are very good at and other people struggle with, so let’s look at some methods you can use to learn it.

 

Use a Tool

 

One easy way to learn to speed read is to try using a tool such as ‘spreader’. Spreader is a program that lets you paste a large amount of text into a website and then quickly runs through all the words, showing you one word at a time for a set duration. You can choose that duration and then by looking at the word count, the program can tell you precisely how long it will take to read that content. You can this way read a very big novel in a couple of hours!

 

Use ‘Jumps’

 

Normally we read by letting our eyes scan left to right across the page. You can speed this up though by letting your eyes ‘jump’ from one block of text to the next and by taking mental snapshots as you go.

 

When you do this, you may notice you are no longer sounding the words out to yourself but instead just trying to take the meaning in. This is a good thing – as you remove the need to mentally verbalize you can start reading with ‘unsymbolized thought’ which is much faster.

 

Time Yourself

 

Timing yourself at any task is an easy way to get quicker. Likewise, if you’re giving yourself 30 minutes to read in the evening, why not challenge yourself to see how many pages you can get through and then try to better that next time? The old saying goes: ‘that which is measured, improves’.

 

Eventually, try going just a little faster than you can comfortably understand.

 

Have a Goal

 

Often, we don’t need to read a lot of the text in an article or even a book. If you’re trying to get a specific piece of information from the text then set out with the goal of retrieving that and then look only for relevant content in the page. This is a good way to make sure that you aren’t wasting time by reading long introductions etc.

 

Becoming an Avid Reader (Infographic)

The Basics of CBT for Eliminating Stress

Whether you have normal levels of moderate anxiety, or you experience large amounts of stress leading to panic attacks and health problems, CBT is the number one tool for dealing with it. CBT stands for ‘cognitive behavioral therapy’ and is the preferred tool for therapists trying to deal with all manner of different psychological disorders.

 

This is partly because CBT has a huge amount of evidence supporting its effectiveness. But what also makes CBT so useful is the fact that it is portable and affordable. CBT involves teaching techniques which can be learned even remotely over the internet. This means you can teach yourself the techniques and be incredibly effective at controlling your emotions and your stress responses.

 

How it Works

 

The basic idea behind CBT is that we ‘think ourselves’ into our mental states. Associations and conditioning partly affect our emotional response to stimuli but so too does what we think.

 

For example, when you’re afraid of talking in public, it’s probably because you are thinking of all the things that could go wrong. You maybe think ‘people will laugh at me’, or ‘what if I stutter’ or ‘what if I faint?’. Thinking these things, and visualizing them as we tend to do, can be enough to trigger the release of hormones or other hormones and this then makes us panic and possibly even causes us to make those mistakes!

The trick then is to change those thoughts so that you no longer believe those things will happen. And if you can do that, then you can completely remove the fear and the response. 

 

Cognitive Restructuring

 

The way you are taught to do this in CBT is through something called ‘cognitive restructuring’. This is a set of tools that you can utilize in order to ‘reprogram’ your thoughts and change your beliefs.

 

One example of this is something called ‘thought challenging’. Here, you simply challenge the negative thoughts that are causing you to be stressed or afraid by looking at how realistic they are. Would people really laugh at you if you stuttered? In all likelihood no, they would be sympathetic. Are you really likely to faint? Probably not.

 

Another very useful tool is something called ‘hypothesis testing’. Here you don’t just convince yourself that your fear is unlikely, you actually prove it to yourself to make sure you really believe it.

 

So how might you do that? One example is that you might put yourself in the situation you are afraid of and see what happens. So in this case, that might mean giving a speech in front of people and then purposefully stuttering to see if people react badly. Just remind yourself: it really doesn’t matter what they think. Now let yourself stand there and try to reduce stress. When you see that there is no negative outcome, you’ll remove the stress entirely.

 

Finally, CBT also incorporates meditation, exposure therapy and other known techniques to give you a powerful tool set for overcoming stress, phobias and more.

 

What is Meta-Cognition?

Meta cognition simply means thinking about thinking. This simply means being aware of how your thoughts work as well as being aware of what your thoughts are doing at any given time. 

 

This is split into two different ideas: metacognitive knowledge (knowledge of your own thoughts) and metacognitive regulation (control over your own thoughts using various strategies).

 

In theory, learning to better control your own thoughts can help you to improve your self-knowledge and to tap into the full potential of your brain at any given time. Let’s look at how you can do that.

 

Some Things You Didn’t Know About Meta Cognition

 

Firstly, what would be a good place to start with meta cognitive knowledge? A good place to start would be with the biology that underlies the way your brain works. By understanding this, you can know what’s actually going on inside your brain at any given time when you experience certain things or do certain things.

 

This means learning about the role of neurotransmitters and hormones and how they impact on your emotional state and also your ability to focus, to remember and to relax.

 

It also means learning about the nature of thought itself. This is a subject people don’t discuss that often but it’s filled with interesting titbits. For example, a Sapir Whorf hypothesis states that we think in ‘language’ and that by changing the language we think in, we can actually upgrade our thoughts. For example, if you could think with shorter words, you might be able to think faster. Likewise, choosing certain language could potentially impact your emotions, so changing your vernacular could be a good strategy.

 

But then there are others that say language is unimportant. More important is the way we visualize what words mean or even feel what they mean by feeling what it would be like to enact a particular story we’re listening to for example. This is called ‘embodied cognition’ and it’s another very compelling school of thought.

 

How to Regulate Thought

 

Once you understand the nature of thought and how thoughts lead to learning, associations and the release of hormones and neurotransmitters, it can be useful to start thinking about the tools you can use to harness that knowledge.

 

One great example is CBT. This is ‘cognitive behavioral therapy’ which is a set of psychotherapeutic tools that are used to give people more control over their thinking. Self-hypnosis and neurolinguistic programming are similar examples of frameworks and tools for changing your thoughts. Likewise, so are different approaches to psychology such as psychotherapy.

 

Meditation is likewise the practice of controlling thought and also of being able to distance yourself from your thoughts.

 

There are various ways you can directly and indirectly impact on your emotions too. One example is ‘priming’ which basically involves watching films, listening to stories or engaging in activities you know will stimulate certain emotions just before you try and use them. Another is to use power poses or facial feedback to try and trick your body into acting the emotion you want to feel.

 

How to Communicate More Confidently

We have many opportunities to demonstrate our confidence or otherwise, but perhaps the most obvious example is when we are talking to an individual or a group.

 

Those who have low self-esteem or confidence are likely to mutter, to stutter and to avoid eye contact. Those who are highly confident and sure of themselves will speak loudly and proudly.

 

So with that in mind, how do you go about communicating as confidently as possible and helping to ensure your message comes across well while also making you look sure of yourself and of what you’re saying?

 

Speak Slowly

 

The first tip is to talk more slowly. When we are nervous, we will often speak more quickly without even realizing it. This is a result of neurotransmitters being released which slow our perception of time and which encourage rushing.

 

Simply slowing down then will greatly increase your sense of calm and authority. Not only that, but by giving people longer to hang on to what you’re saying will let your words have more impact and drama. This also suggests a trust in what you’re saying – it shows you aren’t worried people will stop listening – whereas rushing makes us seem like we’re worried people are just going to move on!

 

Watch any big celebrity talk on TV and you’ll notice they tell lots of stories and they always build suspense and use rhetorical questions. They’ll use repetition and leave big gaps. This takes huge confidence, but if you can pull it off, then you’ll have an audience eating from your hands!

 

Make Eye Contact

 

One of the most important things you can do to demonstrate confidence as you speak is to maintain eye contact. This is true if you’re speaking with just one person and it shows that you aren’t afraid to meet their gaze and to speak to them as equals. It’s also true if you’re speaking to a crowd however, in which case you need to look at everyone and to ensure they are all following and included.

 

Be Congruent

 

Finally, remember that communication is only somewhat verbal. More of what we mean is conveyed through body language and this is why it’s so important that your body language reflects what you’re saying. Be passionate and let your arms do the talking along with the words you’re saying. You’ll appear more honest, more confident and far more engaging!

 

How to Deal With Toxic People

If you have chronically low self-esteem, then there’s a good chance that this came from other people. 

 

The nasty thing about insecurity, jealousy and low esteem is that they are contagious. If you aren’t confident in yourself, then it will often cause you to become destructive and mean. You might put other people down in order to feel better about yourself and you might try to prevent others from fulfilling their potential because you don’t want to be left behind – even if this is happening in an unconscious way.

 

At the same time, low self-esteem can mean you talk other people out of taking chances or following their dreams. This is not out of malice: in this case it simply comes down to the fact that you don’t have much faith in the ability that anyone has to change their fate.

Chances are that you’ll know people like this in your life and that they could be the reason for your low self-esteem and confidence. Most upsettingly, there is a better-than-average chance that this came from your parents.

 

The number one way to raise a happy and confident child is to love them unconditionally and to believe in them 100% and support them 100%. You need to be confident in yourself to do this.

 

So, what do you do now if you’re trying to fix your low esteem but you’re surrounded by people who are dragging you down?

 

The Best Advice

 

The tip you’ll often read is that you should simply cut off contact with toxic or destructive people.

 

I’ll say that you should take this advice if anyone is being purposefully cruel or belittling. You don’t have time in your life for malicious people.

 

But if someone is doing it unintentionally, you shouldn’t just write them off: chances are they simply need help.

 

What you do in the meantime is to surround yourself with more people who are positive, supportive and who do love you unconditionally. And you always remember to view what the toxic, negative people say through a lens of logic and reason. If they are putting you down, is it because they have a genuine point? Or is it because they themselves have low esteem?

 

Finally, try to build them up too. That means you should ask them why they feel the way they do and do everything to support them. You can pull each other out of this funk, that is what friends are for after all!

 

How to Walk With Confidence

Have you ever seen someone walk into a room and immediately demand attention and respect? This is a truly quite amazing thing to witness and it demonstrates an incredible amount of confidence and poise to be able to pull off.

 

Partly, this comes down to the way we walk. Even this seemingly innocuous activity can drastically change the ‘vibes’ that we give off, and so it’s important to recognize what kinds of signals we’re putting out.

 

Walking with confidence is something that isn’t easy but you can develop it over time if you know how.

 

The Basics

 

Walking with confidence does not mean swaggering your shoulders like those kids that want to be gangsters. It doesn’t mean being aggressive and it doesn’t even necessarily mean walking quickly or walking with ‘purpose’.

 

What it means, is walking as someone who is very confident and very happy and comfortable with who they are. 

 

And as is so often the case with body language, this often comes down to the direction you’re looking and just how much space you take up. Walk with your chest pointing upwards and your chin slightly raised and you will beam happiness and confidence.

 

Walk in a hunched manner with a shuffle and you will find you look naturally shy and retiring. 

 

Often what is recommended is that you imagine a ray of light is bursting out your chest as you walk – which can transform your entire stance.

 

One more important tip? Smile as you walk. Smiling is one of the signs of confidence.

 

The Hard Part

 

Simple. Done and done!

 

Right?

 

Unfortunately, it’s not quite that easy. Because I imagine you’ve been walking for a long time. Probably since you were about 1…

 

Which means some habits will be deeply ingrained and they can be hard to shake.

 

And remembering to do these things is very hard indeed. It comes down to mindfulness and of being a little bit aware of how you act and what you do. 

 

One way to instil this new behavior then is to look for a trigger or a prompt. A good one is passing through thresholds and doorways. In other words, every time you walk into a new room, remember the chest trick!

 

Another way is to practice mindfulness in general. This is a powerful and very useful skill that makes us more aware of ourselves in a non-judgement way.

 

Body Language for Confidence

There are many different things that will both influence your confidence and also be influenced by your confidence. Confidence is often a somewhat circular subject matter and this can often make it hard to know where to start.

 

This is the case with body language. Being confident gives you better body language. But having better body language also makes you more confident!

 

What Does Confident Body Language Look Like?

 

Confident body language basically involves looking relaxed and calm. Many of us assume that confident body language will necessarily involve looking menacing or intimidating, but the reality is that this makes us look defensive.

 

Likewise, attempting to look aloof or cool will simply make you look like a try hard. Remember the kids at school who smoked in their leather jackets and were just kind of tragic?

 

Being truly confident means you have nothing to prove, it means you aren’t overly concerned what other people think and it means you’re able to relax because you feel unthreatened. 

 

For instance, while some people might think that having their arms crossed makes them seem aloof and indifferent, the reality is that it makes them look guarded and uncertain.

 

In contrast, if you have your arms apart and your legs apart, you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable. This instantly makes you seem far more confident because you aren’t concerned about threat from others and because you’re allowing yourself to take up lots of space!

 

Look comfy and you look calm. Look calm and you appear confident!

 

More Signs of Confidence

 

There are other signs that you are confident that go beyond comfort of course. One example is the subtle indication of ownership. There are many ways you can subtly imply ownership but the most common is touching. If you learn against a doorway, or if you put your arm across the back of the sofa, it creates the impression that you feel almost as though you own that thing. 

 

That’s why leaning on a wall or doorframe is a surefire way to communicate a lot of self-confidence.

 

The same actually goes for touching people. And this is why touching someone on the shoulder can make you seem much more confident – especially if it is done in an encouraging and non-threatening way.

 

Remember though: body language is best read as a whole. It’s not so much a matter of each individual aspect of your body language that will convey a sentiment as it is the entire package. 

 

5 Examples of Body Language and What They Show

Learning to read body language is a skill that takes years to master. The good news is, you can start at any time, and with a few simple tips, you can start the process. Below are five examples of body language and what they mean so you can start learning to read body language. 

 

1.    Arms Crossed Across the Chest

 

Crossed arms are perhaps the most common form of body language you will come across, and most people have at least a slight indication of what it means. Standing with your arms crossed is typically interpreted as defensive or closed off to new experiences. It usually means someone doesn't want to converse with you. Be careful, however, as occasionally it can mean someone is just cold.

 

2.    Tapping Fingers on a Surface

 

Another common body language is the tapping of fingers on a surface. You probably see this while you are at work, or maybe at a coffee shop. The tapping of the fingers indicates impatience and usually means that the person is waiting for someone. Knowing this could help you strike up a conversation next time you are also waiting for something. 

 

3.    Tilting the Head to One Side

 

Have you ever been talking to someone when they suddenly start tilting their head to the side? It is a good sign, as this particular aspect of body language means the individual is listening and interested in what you are saying. It can also be a sign of concentration, but either way, it means you have someone's attention. 

 

4.    Crossing Your Legs

 

Many people don't realize that crossing your legs is also body language and typically not a good one, as it can indicate you are uncomfortable. Please pay close attention when someone crosses their legs, though, as crossing them at the ankle rather than the knee can also indicate that they are hiding something. The direction their knee points will also indicate who they may be uncomfortable around. 

 

5.    Pulling on the Ear

 

Have you ever discussed something with a friend or coworker and noticed them pulling their ear? This form of body language can mean the individual is trying to make a decision but hasn't yet decided. This aspect of body language can come in handy when trying to make a business deal with another company! 

 

Overall, it will take lots of practice to learn to read all aspects of body language. But with these five examples, you will have a good head start as you learn what each motion means. So next time you are in a social situation, watch for these five forms of body language! 

 

5 Ways to Communicate With Body Language

Nothing is more important than presenting the appropriate body language for communication. Body language is one of the first things people notice about you, especially when meeting for the first time. 

 

If you want to ensure that you are relaying the right message, here are five ways you may want to practice body language.

 

1. Carry Yourself with Confidence

 

The way you carry yourself can convey to others how you feel about yourself or the conversation you are engaging in with them. The way to show confidence begins with your posture. When you stand with your back tall and shoulders relaxed, you can demonstrate to others that you have the confidence to carry on the conversation.

 

2. Lean In and Mirror

 

When you are sitting, lean your body slightly forward to show the other person that you are entirely interested in what they have to say. Additionally, mirroring the other person’s gestures occasionally can demonstrate that you are on the same page as they are. Both of these convey your level of attentiveness and can go a long way to the other person trusting in you.

 

3. Hand Movements and Other Gestures

 

Many studies have shown that using various gestures signifies accurate intelligence in people. Body language experts agree that using gestures and hand movements throughout a conversation can make or break a connection between the two people. Using a firm but not too firm handshake to using appropriate hand gestures while speaking can show the other person that you are confident and that you are credible.

 

4. Keep Your Eye Contact in Check

 

Most people know that making eye contact when having a conversation is one of the essential nonverbal skills you can demonstrate. People believe that the eyes tell a lot about a person’s credibility and character. While maintaining eye contact is crucial, it is also essential to remember that too much eye contact can be interpreted as awkward and even a bit creepy. Because of this, be sure to look away occasionally to keep this from happening.

 

5. Smiles, Nods, and Laughter

 

In most conversations, keep in mind that every person in the discussion is human, and because of this, some behaviors should come naturally. It is especially true for smiling, nodding, and even laughing. Smiling and laughing at appropriate times throughout the conversation can convey openness and a sense of humor that can make others feel at ease. Additionally, nodding on occasion shows the other person that you are not only listening but are also in the conversation with them.

 

Knowing ways to communicate with body language can make the difference between others feeling confident in you and what you have to say and think you are dishonest. Learning a few ways to convey your positive messages through body language can be the key to a successful conversation.

 

Body Language and Zoom: 3 On-Screen Body Language Tips

As if the idea of non-verbal communication was not already complicated enough, in comes the era of Zoom and other forms of virtual communication. When we are in person, we have the advantage of seeing a person's body language more broadly. Whereas when we are in virtual meetings, it is easy to misinterpret body language and other non-verbal communication. It is why you need to learn about these three on-screen body language tips that will help you send the right message when communicating virtually.

 

1. Keep Eye Contact

 

While this may be more challenging when you are on a Zoom meeting than in person, you need to be focused and present during the call. Many people mistake either looking at the other people on the video call or multitasking by having other tabs up, which can take your attention away and give off the impression that you are not present.

 

Most experts agree that while it is essential to look a person in the eye when face-to-face, this is entirely different when you are on a Zoom call. The person on the other side of the screen can only know you make eye contact when looking at the camera.

 

2. Be Mindful of the Position of Your Camera

 

For others on the Zoom call to see your body language and other non-verbal cues, you need to ensure that your camera is in the optimal position. This includes making sure that you do not have the camera too close to where all they see is your head. The best positioning allows other people to see your head and part of your torso so that you can use hand movements and gestures appropriately.

 

Since body language includes your body and not just your face and head, people must see the parts of your body that will help them interpret your thoughts and emotions during the video call.

 

3. Maintain a Good Posture

 

Since many of the Zoom calls are happening in the comfort of your home, you tend to be more relaxed by nature. This can become a problem during important video meetings because you can convey to others that you are distracted or bothered.

 

Maintaining good posture means sitting up tall but keeping your shoulders somewhat relaxed. If possible, make sure you are taking these Zoom calls at a table with a bit of a background and not sitting or lying on your couch. This will demonstrate to others that you are paying attention and are fully present with the conversation at hand.

 

All in all, following these three tips on on-screen body language can help you make a successful Zoom meeting rather than one that sends the wrong message to others. You want to exude a sense of professionalism while also showing you can be relaxed and present people must-see simultaneously during these important video meetings.

 

Body Language Mistakes You Don’t Realize You Are Making

Learning to read others' body language is difficult, but learning to read your own is difficult too. 

 

It can become a problem because your body language is so important that it can affect your ability to get a job, keep it, and maintain friendships. Below are some of the common body language mistakes you might be making, as well as the impact they could have on your life. 

 

Crossing Your Legs

 

This one is more common if you are a woman, but men have been known to cross their legs as well. You may do it out of habit or even just comfort because you like to sit that way. The reality is, crossing your legs indicates to others that you are uncomfortable, or worse, if you cross at your ankles, it means you might be hiding something. Therefore, you should do your best to keep your legs uncrossed and your feet flat on the floor. 

 

Not Maintaining Eye Contact

 

It can be uncomfortable to maintain eye contact with someone. However, if you don't maintain eye contact, it can convey several different things, such as boredom, being distracted, or worse, that you are lying. Many interviewers and those looking to make business deals are huge on eye contact, so next time you talk with someone, be sure to maintain eye contact. 

 

Eye contact doesn't mean you should constantly stare, though. You should naturally break eye contact occasionally, but keep your eyes on their face or hands and don't let them drift around the room. 

 

Crossing Your Arms

 

Crossing your arms across your chest is very similar to crossing your legs, as you may be doing it out of habit or simply because you are cold. However, it will help if you put a stop to it because it can tell someone you are guarded, not open to new experiences, or that you feel you are above them. Try instead to keep your arms hanging neutral at your side or folded nicely in your lap. 

 

Don’t Lean in Too Much

 

When talking with someone, leaning forward can show that you are interested and let them feel they are important. Be careful not to lean in too much as this can lead the person to think that you want something from them. It can lead to feelings of hesitancy on their end and could ruin a business agreement. 

 

Overall, you likely didn't know you were making any of these body language mistakes. Now that you know, it's time to adjust so you'll never make these body language mistakes again.