Look To Yourself For Validation

‘Seeking validation will keep you trapped. You do not need anyone or anything to approve your worth.’

 

One thing that keeps many people from reaching their true potential is the constant need for approval. It is sad to see how we are so willing to conform to what other people want us to be at the expense of our happiness. We have allowed ourselves to be reliant on the opinions of the people around us. No wonder many of us are living miserable and frustrated lives. We are not taking responsibility for the course of our lives because we are too concerned about what others think. 

 

Unfortunately, many of us have discarded our dreams in favor of other people’s visions for us. Some people are in relationships and professions that they are unhappy with just because they allowed other people to influence their choices, without considering what would bring them happiness. Other people miss opportunities to make a great impact because they always hold themselves back, lest they fail and others mock them for it.

 

You can only become great if you break out of the cycle that requires you to seek acceptance from people who do not even share your passion, vision, and values. 

 

Why do we seek approval from others.

 

Many times, the need for validation stems from our insecurities. We lack the confidence to believe that we are enough on our own. We feel so inadequate because we do not believe that we can achieve anything without other people cheering us on. Our very sense of worth is so little that we feel we need the praise of those around us to become valuable.

 

Sometimes the need for validation comes after unfortunate life events knock our confidence down a peg. When we experience loss or failure in any form, it does a lot to put us down. The sting of failure often makes us hesitant to try anything that risks us getting hurt or rejected. That knock to our self-esteem keeps us from doing anything we are unsure of unless other people get behind the idea and hold our hand through it.

 

Another reason we seek acceptance is that we are eager to please the people that surround us. Having an unhealthy attachment to the praise and applause of others will trap you into doing everything you can to keep that praise coming, even if it means compromising your values.

 

Seeking validation comes naturally to people who are not confident in their identity. Such people are always looking for ways to fit in. That need to be accepted takes root during adolescence. Young people grapple with an identity crisis because they just want to be part of the cool crowd. It does not help that this follows us into adulthood. There is pressure for people to live fake lives just to please others. You only have to look at social media to see how much pressure people are under to do certain things just to be rated among the best on the platforms they are on.

 

It is difficult to gain approval from people because their perception of what is acceptable is constantly changing with the times. It is frustrating to try and keep up with such fickle preferences. The only validation you need in your life can only come from your conviction that you are enough. 

 

Look within for validation. 

 

‘Anytime you put your self-worth in the hands of someone or something outside of you, you are at their mercy.’

 

Seeking acknowledgment from others for something you have done well is natural. Desiring appreciation for what you have achieved is not bad. The problem comes when you constantly need someone else to praise you for you to feel any sense of worth. When that approval fails to come, you can feel like you have not done enough. It amplifies your insecurities.

 

When you acknowledge your strength and efforts, knowing that you have given your best to accomplish something, you do not need to rely on others for approval. You should always give yourself credit for the efforts you make to achieve your goals. It takes a lot of confidence to put yourself out there. Acknowledge that even when no one does it for you.

 

If you have faith in your skills and abilities, you will not need to look to others for approval or permission. You simply step up where you feel the need to without doubting yourself or asking if you deserve the chance to try. Develop confidence in yourself by seeing yourself in a positive light. Acknowledge your strengths and accept your shortcomings. Permit yourself to put your skills to the test instead of cowering back in fear of what people may think. 

 

Every time you fall or fail is a testament to your resilience. Never let people knock down your confidence just because you tried something, and it did not work out. Otherwise, you will be stagnant, wasting away your potential to do great things. Everyone experiences moments of failure. Only the brave know that you can try again until success is a given.

 

Live life on your terms. Never let the influence of another person hinder you from doing what you want to do. Conforming to their opinions will only plunge you into regrets. 

 

‘Validation is a manifestation of self-doubt.’ Laura Haver.

 

Any self-doubt will leave you vulnerable to seeking the approval of others. Believe in yourself. Appreciate the value you bring to the table and praise your efforts to accomplish all that you can. When that approval becomes second nature, you will not seek the praise of others.

 

Reasons Why You Should Be More Self-Sufficient

Self-sufficiency is not only about not needing outside help to sustain your physical self or, satisfying yourself with the basic needs without external assistance.

 

It also embodies being emotionally and intellectually independent. This means you can rationalize your thoughts and make your own decisions. Your decisions become less influenced by your surroundings. In a more loosely used phrase, it means you can ‘think for yourself’. 

 

Perhaps, you may argue that one cannot entirely rely on him /her self alone – More so, it’s even impossible to live a solo life without taking other people’s aid since life is full of unpredictable mishaps. And I agree, but, there’s a catch.

 

The bottom line, you cannot always depend on others. As you step into adulthood, you’ll realize that everyone is running their solo races. In as much as you have family and friends to help you with whatever you need, you should be more self-reliant and stand on your own two feet - And this is why.

 

Here are 4 reasons why you should be more self-sufficient.

 

1.    You Build a Sense of Self-worth

 

To me, nothing is as annoying as being told ‘No’. No, you can’t afford it! No, we can’t do that for you! Or, no, do it yourself! This will get you furious right? But why?

 

The answer Is simple. The reason you cannot afford to buy what you want is that you’re not financially self-sufficient. You cannot do it yourself because you did not acquire the skill and knowledge to be self-competent. And now you’re furious because you’re waiting for validation from others.

 

There’s a sense of self-worth that comes with sustaining yourself on your terms. This self-worth builds from understanding that your thoughts, your time, and your needs are important too. As a result, you no longer have to let other people waste your time just so you can get what you want. Likewise, you’ll also avoid a lot of disappointments from others simply because you no longer depend on them so much. 

 

From grasping your self-worth, you also attain two more positive qualities. Self-confidence and self-esteem. 

 

Having a healthy sense of self-confidence means you can trust your abilities and judgment. You don’t allow yourself to be underestimated. You are more reliant on yourself and assertive with what you need. Against all odds, you’ll work hard to provide for yourself those needs.

 

2.    You Become a Sole Controller of Your Destiny

 

Certain goals are meant to be run solo. 

 

A lot of dreams and goals had to die premature deaths due to lack of resources.

Let’s start with a more typical example. You wake up one morning with the set intention to cook your family a nice dinner. You carefully set the menu in place incorporating everyone’s favorite dishes. You even include some new treats you want to try out. As you sit, you compile the recipes. However, you then realize that you don’t have all the ingredients needed. 

 

Your neighbors are 5kms from your house - The grocery store is 10 more kilometers from the next house – And you’re all alone in the middle of the day. With no other way to source out this thoughtful goal, the whole plan dies.

 

In this instance, a more self-reliant person would’ve been better prepared. Perhaps, having a garden would’ve helped or saving some money before stocking on all the basic commodities.

 

We can both relate to self-sufficiency in so many ways. The list of possible scenarios is endless.

 

Again, imagine getting a flat tire in the middle of nowhere with no cell reception. Or, you get a power cut at home for a whole week. Are you going to be able to take care of yourself? 

 

It is very liberating knowing that you can take care of yourself if anything ever goes wrong. 

 

If you’re more self-dependent, you can decide the quality of life you wish to live. You get to be in the driver’s seat driving to your set destiny. 

 

3.    You Gain Financial Freedom

 

Being co-dependent on your soul partner, family, or parents restricts you from exploring your potential. You’ll never truly know how much you’re capable of achieving on your own if you’re always looking for help.

 

The luxuries and fancy lifestyles come with a price tag. Houses, cars, clothes, exotic vacation destinations all need money.

 

If you’re not born into wealth, then you need to hear this. Relying on another person’s budget will cripple all your chances of enjoying all the luxuries that you deserve. Without a stable source of income, you can’t buy what you want, travel, or spoil your loved ones. 

 

Financial freedom comes after embracing how to be self-dependent and live within your means. This means you’re free from debt. You can save money and prepare yourself for stormy days.

 

4.    You Increase Your Health and Wellness

The vicious cycle is clear. 

 

When you’re self-sufficient you understand and live your independence emotionally and physically. You’re intentional with the quality of life you want. You set and pursue goals assertively. You attain more resources and secure your finances. You sleep better at night because you don’t have loan sharks, landlords, and debt collectors breathing down your neck. 

 

You live in self-gratification. Your health and wellness are promoted. And the cycle repeats itself.

 

Life can become so much sweeter if you take the lead role in implementing your decisions and positive actions.

 

Self-Discipline Conditions Self-Sufficiency

It takes discipline to do anything and do it well. Ask the most successful people and they will tell you the huge role that self-control plays in ensuring that you make it to the top. Having full control of your emotions and your reactions to negative circumstances is a skill that everyone should desire because it keeps you in check. 

 

There is no way you can depend on yourself if you are unreliable. You need to have control over yourself, keeping your word at all times. If you constantly let yourself down by failing to do the things you commit to, you will lose confidence in your ability to achieve anything of significance. 

 

Self-sufficiency requires you to stay true to who you are and to what you believe in. It demands control over the decisions that you make. Without that discipline, it is difficult to be independent of other people’s opinions. Instead, you will stop doing what you know is right in favor of things that make you feel validated.

 

Someone who is self-reliant strongly believes in themselves. That is not to say that doubt does not creep in when things fail to go according to plan. It takes a lot of discipline to shut out voices that influence you to think less of yourself or your dreams. 

Train yourself to remain positive in the face of adversity, otherwise, you will constantly bow to everything that threatens to bring you down.

 

To be truly independent, you need the discipline to stick to your path when everyone else is abandoning theirs to pursue emerging trends. In a world where people rely heavily on the approval of others before making any moves, you need to trust yourself to do things without always asking your close friends for validation.

 

It is difficult to step out on your own because there is always a chance that you will not land where you want to be. Failure always makes us question our adequacy in pursuing the things we want. Instead of allowing your esteem to be shaken, control your reaction to every setback and every failure you encounter. To cling to a chosen path after falling is commendable. It brings growth and resilience. All of this requires discipline.

  

How to Develop Self-Control to Maintain Your Independence:

 

Discover yourself and what you stand for.

 

Once you discover your purpose, you must do everything in your power to live according to it. This culminates into the values and ethics that govern you. These keep you grounded and keep you from compromising on the things that make you who you are. You will not feel pressured to play according to the rules of others. 

 

Accept your flaws.

 

Self-acceptance is a vital part of attaining self-sufficiency. When you embrace yourself, with all your shortcomings, you will not feel the need to hide behind others. Instead, it gives you the desire to hone the skills and talents you possess to find your place in society. Loving yourself just as you are will stop you from trying to fit in where you are forced to hide your true identity from others.

 

Have a vision.

 

Nothing keeps you focused on being the best version of yourself than having a vision of where you want to go. What meaning do you want to add to your life and the lives of those around you? Keeping your goals in sight will stop you from focusing on what other people are doing or what they think of you, especially if you are fully committed to achieving everything you set out to do.

 

Be accountable to yourself.

 

When you commit to certain tasks, make sure you follow through. Never make excuses because there is no one to demand accountability from you. You will only feel disappointed in yourself when you let yourself down by slacking off on the things you committed to doing. Keep track of the tasks you need to accomplish. You can do so by keeping a journal or a planner.

 

Understand your capacity.

 

If you take on more than you can handle, you will wear yourself out fast. Instead of committing yourself to enormous projects in one go, break them into smaller tasks that you can manage. Biting off more than you can chew may cause failure and in turn, chip away at your self-esteem.

 

Make room for failure.

 

No matter how much effort you put into any project, there is always a chance that things will not go the way you want them to. It takes self-control not to fold when everything around you demands it. 

 

You should never let yesterday’s failure stop you from shaping the future of your tomorrow.

 

Viewing failure in a positive light will equip you to handle whatever life throws at you. After all, without the challenges, there would be no growth.

 

Healthy self-reliance is a key to a gratifying and productive life. It gives you a chance to take the reins off and steer your life in the direction you want. Without discipline, that task can be intimidating. It takes self-control to do life the way you want and not conform to everyone else’s dictates.

 

‘Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you growing.’ John. C. Maxwell.

 

Self-Sufficiency Can Earn You Respect

Feeling secure and content with yourself is key to being fulfilled in life and living the best life possible. When you are decisive and able to pursue your dreams without seeking permission, you can accomplish anything you want. 

 

Self-reliance reminds you that you can trust in your abilities and do anything you put your mind to. It boosts your self-esteem and keeps you looking forward to a better life. 

 

When you face discouragements or constant criticism, you can easily get over them because you know who you are and what you can do. You don’t let anything or anyone get you down or talk you out of living the life you want because you trust in your abilities. Your past successes are a constant reminder of what you can do and how far you can go. You have evidence that you can achieve anything in life and never let failure stop you from working on your goals. 

 

When people around you know that you can do anything you set your mind to without seeking approval, they will respect you. When people see that you are a go-getter who always gets things done, they will take you seriously. When you are resilient, decisive, confident, and always get back up after failure, you will teach people to respect you. So, seek independence in all areas of your life and enjoy every minute.

 

If you’ve had bad breaks and lost confidence in yourself, take the following steps to develop self-reliance and enjoy your life more:

 

Be proactive

 

Learn to solve problems on your own and figure things out by yourself without waiting for someone to come along and suggest a solution. Use currently available resources to make the most of your life. 

 

Use your skills to start working on your dreams and bring them to life. Work with what you have. 

 

Manage your time wisely and live intentionally. Look for opportunities to grow and seize them. Make sure you get one step closer to bringing your vision to life daily. Doing this keeps you motivated and helps you focus more on your abilities and less on what is happening around you.

 

Accept yourself 

 

Self-acceptance is key to finding happiness and being content with who you are. So, accept where you are and who you are. If you’ve made mistakes in the past, forgive yourself and move on. If someone has hurt you, forgive them and move on. Realize that your peace is more important than the hurt they’ve caused you.

 

Accept where you are but keep working on being where you desire to be and arriving at your destination.

 

If you accept yourself, it can easily show and people will learn to respect you more because they know that you are comfortable with who you are and don’t need anyone to tell you what you can or can’t be. 

 

Be decisive

 

Indecisiveness is a sign of low self-esteem. It shows that you are unsure of yourself and need someone else to validate your decision before you can take the next step. So, learn to make your own decisions and stick to them. If you are stuck between choosing one important thing over the other, trust that you will make the right decision. Don’t seek approval from anyone. If you make a mistake or take a wrong turn, don’t be discouraged. 

 

Realize that we learn from mistakes. Refine your decision-making skills to avoid making the same mistake twice. 

 

Speak up if you are being mistreated and refuse to be stepped on. Confront the person responsible and let them know that their behavior is unacceptable. If he or she refuses to change, end your relationship because tolerating that sort of treatment only weighs you down. 

 

If you see any form of injustice around you, speak up. Stand up for someone who can’t stand up for themselves. Don’t pretend you can’t see the injustice that is happening. If you can’t do anything about it, talk to someone who can. Ask for their intervention and explain why their involvement will help. 

 

Help someone else 

 

Sometimes the best way to renew your confidence is by focusing on someone else other than yourself. So, help someone else. Be kind to others. Do good and help someone improve their life in some way. It doesn’t have to be financial assistance only. You can offer emotional support, encouragement, and show the person you choose to help that they have what it takes to do ABC. 

 

Share words of encouragement and hope. Help someone going through a tough time see there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. 

 

Be an inspiration. Inspire someone to change, improve, be more and do more. Doing this makes you realize that you matter and have an important role to play in life.

 

Self-Sufficiency Improves The Quality Of Your Relationships

There are many ways in which one can explain self-sufficiency, but my favorite definition has to be one I came across in an article on Psychology Today. Steve Taylor wrote that self-sufficiency is the quality of feeling secure and content with oneself, a deep-rooted sense of inner completeness and stability. When you are self-sufficient, you are cognizant that you are enough. In all the situations you approach from a perspective of self-sufficiency, you are aware of your value as a person. To be honest, when one is self-aware, the quality of their relationships improves because you know what you deserve. If you view yourself as a decent human being who is worthy of self-love and respect, you will not accept being mistreated by people. Let's look at some of how self-sufficiency can improve the quality of your relationship. 

 

You can set boundaries.

 

This is a sore subject for many of us because we do not want to lose our loved ones. When you are self-sufficient, setting boundaries becomes easy for you because you know what you bring to the table. Keeping in mind your value and all the work you have put in to become the person you are will inform your decisions about how you want to be treated. You will then surround yourself with people that understand who you are and are in your life because they respect the boundaries that you would have set. 

 

We have all heard repeatedly that you teach people how to treat you, and the boundaries you set for loved ones will teach them how to treat you. If you are a person who has no respect for yourself and you keep people in your life out of desperation, you will find yourself surrounded by people who do not value you. As Iyanla says, "Draw a line in the sand, if the line is crossed there must be a consequence." What this means is that you should set clear boundaries, and people should respect you enough to appreciate the boundaries you set. As a self-sufficient individual, it will be easy for you to remove yourself from situations where people do not respect your boundaries. 

 

You can choose the people you want around you.

 

There is nothing more powerful than a person who respects themselves enough to not be the one that is consistently chosen as a friend. Self-sufficiency will allow you to be decisive about the people you want to have in your life. You will keep people in your life because you want them in it, not because you need them. Many people have stayed in abusive relationships because they were dependent and could not leave. Being self-sufficient, whether it is financially or emotionally, could save you from very unpleasant situations. This is one of the reasons why we are all encouraged to go on the journey of self-discovery because there is nothing more addictive than another human being. Knowing that you can provide for yourself and pick yourself up when you need to will empower you as an individual. That power will help you choose like-minded people, and your connections will not be based on co-dependency. 

 

You can be more assertive.

 

Standing up for yourself is a superpower, but unfortunately, we are not all born with that superpower. If you are in a relationship with someone who is strong-willed and has a strong personality, you will need to be assertive. For your needs to be met, you need to articulate what you need from your partner. Being the partner that is always compromising will leave you drained and feeling unappreciated. When you are a self-sufficient person, you can be assertive and make it a point that your feelings are considered in the relationship because you matter. The relationship can then become a safe space because you show up as your most authentic self and in honesty. Your partner will also appreciate the honesty as it will not cause resentment in the future.

 

The takeaway

 

Navigating through life and relationships can be a challenge. There is a constant need to ensure that when people like us, we do not disappoint them or scare them off by being self-sufficient. We often mistake co-dependency for the foundation on which relationships should be built. We then have relationships where we are enmeshed, and there are no clear boundaries. This does not help our relationships as there is no code of conduct and people end up taking each other for granted. To enjoy any relationship, you need to maintain your individuality because that is what makes you unique. To enjoy a relationship of high quality, you should, as the saying goes, fill your cup and give what is running over. Practicing self-love will allow you to respect yourself enough to value relationships because of what you bring to the table, not what you are constantly receiving.

 

Self-Sufficiency In Romantic Relationships

If you always need your partner’s approval or anyone’s approval before making any decisions, you need to be more self-sufficient. Have confidence in yourself. Don’t seek approval from anyone before making important decisions that will have a huge impact on your life. Become an independent thinker. Trust in yourself and know that you are enough.

 

Being self-sufficient in all areas of your life is important and especially in your romantic relationship. It is key to ensuring you enjoy your relationship and make the most of it. 

 

Your partner needs to know that you can make your own decisions. This doesn’t mean you have to ignore your partner’s opinion or do everything by yourself. It simply means you have to be confident enough to handle what needs to be handled without outside intervention. It means being able to do what you should without seeking external help.

 

You will have more joy in your relationship when your significant other knows that you can stand on your own feet, are decisive, and have enough confidence to go after your dreams. 

 

Sometimes the main thing that makes it difficult to enjoy your relationship is being too dependent. If your partner is the only one who makes all the decisions, neither of you will be happy. You both need to make contributions where your lives are concerned. That means being involved in the decision-making process, expressing your opinion without being apologetic about it, and making financial contributions. 

 

You have to play your part and do what you can. Live to the best of your abilities and learn to make smart decisions and stand by them.

 

Self-sufficiency renews your self-worth. 

 

Losing faith in yourself and questioning your worth is easy when you are not self-reliant and depend on your partner for everything. That is why countless people are unhappy in their relationships. The problem isn’t what you don’t have or what your partner refuses to do. It’s failing to stand on your own and be true to who you are. 

 

If you have lost faith in your abilities, feel you are not good enough or are convinced you don’t have what it takes to improve your life, think again. Realize that you are enough. You can still become all you’ve ever wanted. You have what it takes to turn your life around. 

 

Shift your focus from what you can’t do to what you can do. Renew your dreams and start working on them. 

 

Speak positivity into your life and renew your self-confidence. Start each day with “I am enough”, “I can make it happen”, “I can accomplish ABC”, “I will make it”, and “I was born to succeed.”

 

Concentrate on becoming self-sufficient in your relationship so you can easily work through disagreements and enjoy every minute. 

 

Self-sufficiency is key to emotional maturity and independence. 

 

Emotional maturity is one thing that most people struggle with despite how long they have been in relationships. If you are constantly thinking “Maybe I’m not enough”, “What if he or she leaves?”, or“Something is missing. I’m no longer fulfilled in this relationship”, you need to work on your emotional independence.

 

Realize that the way you feel has nothing to do with what your partner is doing or isn’t doing. Establish your personal space and understand that you control your happiness. Learn to be happy and feel good about yourself despite what your partner does or doesn’t do or say.

 

Be passionate about your life. Constantly work on becoming the best version of yourself and learn to master your feelings. Not the other way around.

 

Maintain a positive attitude and have something good to look forward to. 

 

When you face discouragements or disappointments, don’t let your emotions get in the way. Talk things over with your partner and work through disputes the right way. 

 

When you encounter failure, don’t quit. Get back up and try again. Keep moving forward. Have a “This is not the end of the road” attitude and realize that tomorrow can be better.

 

Emotional maturity and independence are key to a happy and fulfilling relationship. 

 

Being self-reliant doesn’t mean you never have to lean on your partner for anything because the best way to nurture and grow your relationship is by learning to be there for each other. So, support each other, take care of each other, share your deepest feelings, and know you can always count on each other for anything. 

 

Seek interdependence to enjoy your partnership more. Play your part and let your partner play his. Embrace your true self and let your significant other do likewise. Do things together. Contribute what you can and seek to improve where you can. Make important decisions together especially ones that affect both of you. Doing this helps you grow your relationship and focus more on the positive. 

 

Self-Sufficiency Promotes A Healthy Mindset

‘Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient.’ Aristotle.

 

A healthy mindset is the key to live a happy life. If you seek fulfillment or meaning, you have to do everything in your power to ensure that you adopt the right mindset. You must align your thoughts to what you want to achieve.

 

The greatest battle always occurs in the mind. What you allow in your mind determines whether you will succeed or fail. To have a chance to make significant accomplishments, you must be in control of thoughts and your emotions. You must be able to shut out negativity and distance yourself from anything that diminishes your confidence. It is only once you develop a positive attitude that you can win during life’s greatest battles. Only then can you have a healthy outlook on life, with the promise of endless possibilities.

 

Why you should be more reliant on yourself.

 

‘Self-sufficiency is a deep-rooted sense of completeness and stability.’ Dr. Steve Taylor.

 

Self-dependence weans you from being overly reliant on other people for your happiness and success. Being incapable of doing certain things for yourself gives other people too much power over you. It leaves you vulnerable. This is why people form unhealthy attachments to certain things or certain people. Never give people room to hurt or manipulate you by showing them that you cannot fully function without their help. Take responsibility for your life and make decisions that are best for you. You can take control of your life by acquiring skills that help you be more self-sufficient. 

 

For example, if you are too dependent on your partner in a romantic relationship, having them do everything for you, will be difficult for you to recover if that partner leaves your life. It is the same logic for reliance on drugs or alcohol. Once you remove them from the picture, you may fail to cope with certain things. If you are too dependent on your job, what happens when you get retrenched or when you cannot perform the duties you used to? What if the only solution available is resigning? What will you do then?

 

Self-sufficiency allows you to bounce back from any form of adversity. It may not prevent bad things from happening to you, but it gives you the strength to pick up the pieces and move on with your life. It gives you control over your emotions and how you react to negative circumstances. Above that, it helps you deal with failure more healthily. You get to be more compassionate and patient with yourself when you make mistakes, instead of beating yourself up and condemning yourself as a failure.

 

The link between independence and mental health.

 

Being confident makes you feel good about yourself. It boosts your self-worth when you know you can achieve anything you set your mind to. This promotes a healthy self-image. Instead of cowering back and living life in the shadows, you step out and do whatever it takes to make your mark.

 

Having that sense of self-worth and knowing that your life is meaningful promotes good mental health. The knowledge that you have the skills to make meaningful contributions in the workplace will make you confident to take on more tasks that challenge you. You become motivated to discover more of your potential. You volunteer to do the heavy lifting because you know that you have the strength for it. 

 

People who center their life on other people’s thoughts and opinions often pay for it mentally. They have little confidence in themselves and their abilities and often rely heavily on other people for guidance. This leaves them dissatisfied as they live according to other people’s standards instead of their own. Such people hardly make big decisions without consulting others, leaving room for self-doubt to rear its head. This leads to frustration and depression, as they fail to live up to their potential. It happens often that such people lose out on opportunities to do great things because they were more concerned with what people would think or say. 

 

Being self-reliant allows you the control you need over your destiny. You become bold enough to stand for what you believe in and cannot be swayed from your path. Even when the people around you doubt you, being self-sufficient gives you the confidence to give your most daunting dreams a shot. You take more risks, applying yourself to things that you would normally be too afraid to try. You do not give audience to the fears and insecurities of others when you have faith in your strength and capabilities. It is this attitude that leads to great accomplishments. It motivates you to aim higher and achieve more goals until success is a guarantee. 

 

Self-sufficiency has roots in self-acceptance. When you are sure of yourself and fully aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you learn to embrace who you are. Your shortcomings cease to make you feel inadequate. You develop a healthy self-image, viewing yourself as a person worth attention and respect. Self-love is a vital ingredient to overall health. Placing a high value on yourself teaches others to value you. 

 

Being self-sufficient contributes to your overall well-being. You develop a healthier image of yourself when you have control over your emotions, thoughts, decisions, and actions.

 

Being able to rely upon yourself- to admit that you and you alone handle your life- is a considerable step toward self-confidence and realizing your dreams. It is in your best interest, as it promotes a healthy mindset.

 

Self-Sufficiency Helps You Stay True To Your Purpose

If you asked some people today the reason why they stopped pursuing their dreams and the life they once believed in, you will learn from the answers why independence and confidence in oneself are important. You will discover that some stopped because they felt no one believed in their dreams or, they couldn’t get financial support until they felt they were now behind time. Some will also tell you that they’ve been let down enough to stop believing in the possibility of their goal coming true. Others will also tell you that the people they looked up to disappointed and killed the fire that once burned within them. One thing is common from the listed and similar answers; they did not believe they could do it themselves or that they could succeed in getting the life many people have failed to sustain. 

 

The big question following the scenarios is, what if you didn't have friends, family, or community from whom you expected to get models and support among other things? What would your excuse be? Would you just let life pass you by while you bury yourself in self-pity? Life will always be complicated and people won't always live up to our expectations. That is the reason we speak of self-sufficiency, one's ability to sustain themselves without the help of others. This does not relate only to monetary issues but mental, emotional, and behavioral issues as well. Where one has full control of all these aspects of their life, nothing can stand in their way. Living life the way they understand and want it gets easier. Below is how self-sustenance can help you stay true to your purpose:

 

1.  You define the world in your terms – self-sustenance allows you to create your world of possibilities not limited by other people's doubts and pessimism. The inherent mental strength in independent people allows them to question, filter, and use information and thoughts in a way that empowers them. They do not follow others blindly. Consequently, the only limits they have are those they set themselves. If you set yourself on a path of independence with this much inner strength, the only external influence that manages to bring about change in your life will always take you a step closer to your dream. 

 

2.  Immunity to peer pressure – sometimes people fail to live life to the fullest because they give in to pressure from their peers. Peer influence has led many to adopt questionable lifestyles and out of character as they try to fit in or be as "successful as others". By so doing, they abandon the path that is meant for them, a life that completes them, just for instant gratification. A sense of independence, self-sustenance, and valuing your unique qualities will help you understand the importance of choosing a path different from that of your peers. As a result, you remain at peace with progressing at your own pace, where seeking validation and support from friends would divert you or slow you down.

 

3.  Being in charge of your life – self-sufficient people do not need others to feel complete. They are psychologically and financially able to run their own lives and only allow other people in willingly. Thus, they control whatever happens in their lives rather than being controlled by circumstances. This much charge over your life makes it easier to stay on track because you do things the way they suit you and your dreams. It is almost impossible to be a pushover or have others use you for their gain if you know what you want and how or when to get it. Your priorities are in order and you limit other people’s access to you.

 

4.  Functional relationships – independent people with a purpose have relationships too. However, they are intentional in forming them. Most importantly, they do not establish or maintain relationships just to please people and try to fit in. Rather, they choose friends according to the value they bring into their lives. This keeps away distractions especially from unnecessary squabbles, gossips and bad influence et cetera. Where success is concerned, it is better to keep your inner circle smaller and more strategic. How many unhealthy or unpurposeful relationships have you kept at the expense of your peace or other valuables only because those people contribute something you think you need at that moment?

 

5.  Staying focused on your goals – although self-sufficient people do meet challenges too, they are more prepared to deal with them and keep moving. The psychological wellbeing aspect of self-sufficiency enables them to filter information healthily while it keeps them optimistic. Their mental strength helps them believe in their dreams and have confidence in themselves. To add to that, their ability to take care of themselves means they are free from pressure to do things a certain way and within a certain period even when it is working against them. All these keep the mind clear and focused on what matters.