6 Tips to Make Smarter Life Decisions (Infographic)

10 Pivotal Life Decisions (Infographic)

Turn Your Thoughts into Action

Do you have big plans for your life? Dreams that you want to turn into a reality? This is often easier than done, especially when you don't know how to start taking action in the first place. Below are some ways to help you more effectively turn your thoughts into actions, no matter how crazy they may be. 

 

Start By Making A Plan

 

Usually, when someone has a plan in their head, it can be a bit chaotic and maybe hard to see exactly how to get there. This is why you should start by making a physical, written-down plan of what you want to do. This will give you a better view of where to go to start. This will also help you to break your goals down into more manageable steps. Don’t think that just because you write a plan that it has to happen exactly that way either, as once you start to take action, you can come back and adjust your plan as needed. 

 

Stop Overthinking Everything

 

One of the reasons you may find yourself unable to turn thoughts into actions is probably because you are overthinking everything. The above step of making a plan should help you to clear up your overthinking a little bit as you write things down. But if it doesn't, other mental relaxation techniques like meditation, talking something out with others, and taking a deep breath can help you stop overthinking. Remember, you aren't perfect, and that isn't what you are trying to achieve, so there is no reason to fret over your mental plan being perfect. 

 

Figure Out What Is Stopping You From Taking Action

 

If you've done the two above steps but still can't seem to turn your thoughts into action, it's time to figure out why. Are you scared of failure? Too distracted? Waiting for the perfect time? Any of these can hold you back as you work to make your thoughts become a reality. If you leave them unchecked, you will never be able to take meaningful action. So once you discover why you can't seem to take action in your life, work through why and eliminate it from your life so that it is no longer a reason. 

 

Turning your thoughts into action is often easier said than done, especially if you aren’t sure where to start and are overthinking everything. The trick is, you need to figure out what is stopping you from turning your thoughts into action, cut out the overthinking, and start following a plan that you have written down—and before you know it, your thoughts will become actions!

 

4 Action Steps to Stop Overthinking Now

Is it bad to think? Sometimes…yes. It is.

 

Anytime we feel stressed about things in our lives, we retreat back into the world of our minds. It’s normal to want to think about the things causing us problems. Sometimes though, this kind of focus can become harmful. We start losing faith in ourselves and even stop making decisions. 

 

What should we do when we’ve fallen into this trap of overthinking absolutely everything? Try this four-step plan to get back on track. 

 

Revisit the Truth

 

Overthinking has a way of pulling you away from the facts. It’s so easy to fall into the world of fallacies and drama when you’re overthinking things. You create worst-case scenarios and get so far from the truth you don’t even know what’s right anymore. By pulling back and asking yourself what is true, what you absolutely know for certain, you get your head out of the clouds and back in the game. 

 

Check Your Emotions

 

Once you know the truth, examine how you feel about this. What are the real emotions connected with this thought? Are you perhaps sidetracking yourself away from something you really don’t want to acknowledge like fear or guilt? This step can seem daunting because you’re really having to be honest with yourself here as you can’t possibly move past this step without a clear understanding of what’s going on.

 

Decide the Impact

 

So, where does all this leave you? By obsessing and denying certain emotions, what possible benefit are you giving yourself? Or, more accurately, what are you holding yourself back from? For example, if you’re obsessing about a job interview gone wrong, you might realize the emotion connected to this event is an embarrassment, or fear because you’re worried you’ve made a terrible impression. The impact? You might not get the job you wanted.

 

Make a New Decision

 

You’ve come this far. Hang in there! The real question at this point is, what will you do going forward? Rather than overthink the interview in the previous example, what can you do instead? Is there some way to salvage the situation? Or is this a learning experience you can apply to future experiences?

 

With these four steps, it’s relatively easy to attack the overthinking monster and pull your thoughts back under control. Once you do, it’s an easy matter to push yourself back into motion, especially once you’ve completed the last step and figured out from it your next best move. 

 

6 Indicators You Might be Overthinking Things

Have you ever considered you might be overthinking?

 

While carefully considering a new idea can be an excellent thing, there comes a time when thinking about something needs to give way to action. Sometimes, though, we stall ourselves out by getting so involved in our thoughts, we never act at all. 

 

At what point does serious planning become obsessive overthinking? Ask yourself these questions:

 

How Many Times Have You Gone Over This in Your Mind?

 

Considering a new thought or question a few times is natural. If you’re thinking about this constantly over several hours or even days, you’re probably getting too caught up in your thoughts.

 

How Many Times Have You Gone Over That Conversation?

 

Overthinkers can’t let anything rest. If you find yourself revisiting past discussions to the point where you have every piece of dialogue memorized, and even analyzed, you’re definitely overthinking.

 

Where are the Shades of Grey?

 

People who overthink tend to concentrate on absolutes – everything is either all one way or all another. There’s never any middle ground. If you can’t find the shades of grey, you’re overthinking things.

 

How Important is What Other People Think?

 

This goes back to the idea of repeating conversations in your head. Typically, we obsess over what the other person said because we’re worried about their opinion of us. If you’re concerned about how the world sees you, you’re already in trouble. The truth of the matter? At this point, you’re thinking about them, far more than they’re thinking about you.

 

What is the Motivation?

 

If you’re spending a lot of time trying to figure out why people are doing something, you’re venturing into dangerous territory. Unless you’re wanting to find out something positive (such as how they did something you want to emulate), you’re wasting your own time. What does it matter if they chose to do a sure thing? Unless it impacts you directly, it’s really none of your business. 

 

How Are You Sleeping?

 

If racing thoughts are keeping you up at night, you’re overthinking, plain, and simple. Bedtime is when you’re supposed to let go and allow yourself to rest.

 

Whenever you allow yourself to be caught up in a spiral of worry and anxiety, you’re allowing your thoughts to take control of your day. Over time, your thoughts can take over your life, keeping you from the things you desire. When this happens, it’s definitely time to take a solid step back so you can restore the appropriate balance once again.

5 Tips for Helping You to Unwind when Worried

Some days we’d rather not go through. Let's face it, we all go through times of intense stress and worry. The idea of unwinding at all in these circumstances can feel impossible. At the same time, it's these bad days where we need to unwind more than ever.

 

With this in mind, let’s take a look at several tips designed to help you unwind even when you’re worried.

 

Start By Getting Back into the Moment

 

A lot of what we're doing when we're worrying is living in the future. We're caught in a world of 'what if' and speculation. This is why it's crucial to get back into the here and now. Mindfulness or meditation can help you focus on where you are right now. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Don't allow thoughts to intrude. Instead, allow yourself to drift, thinking about what you hear or smell. It doesn't have to take long. Even a few minutes of mindfulness will help you to unwind significantly.

 

Are You Being Reasonable?

 

What are you worried about most often? Is this a reasonable worry? Sometimes all we need to unwind is a quick reality check. You might be overthinking things. If you're not sure if you see the situation clearly, this might be a good time to talk to someone else about what's going on. Do they see things the same way? 

 

Let Go

 

There are some things you’re not going to be able to change about what’s going on right now. Remind yourself whatever is happening is just another piece of this particular segment of your life. You will get through it. You'll find it easier to relax if you can release what is out of your control.

 

Forget the Fortune-Teller

 

Sometimes when we’re worried, we’re falling into the trap of thinking things are very black and white. Generally speaking, things are seldom as bad as we imagine them to be. Take a deep breath and let the situation unfold as it will without trying to predict the future. 

 

What Are You Telling Yourself?

 

Sometimes we get in the habit of seeking out the negative, especially when it comes to ourselves. Could it be you're worried about something which isn't even true? Consider the words you use when talking to yourself. If you’re using more negative than positive phrasing, start changing the dialogue to more positive statements. It’s a lot easier to unwind when you’re not beating yourself up all the time.

 

While these tips might not necessarily solve the crisis in your life, they'll help you to put even difficult times into a better perspective, allowing you to at least take some time to breathe and figure out the next steps. Truly, you've got this!

5 Places to Find Friends as an Adult

When did everything get so hard? 

 

Somewhere along the way, we grew up. Life started getting bogged down with responsibilities and plans for the future. While much of this is exciting, what happens all too often as we start laying aside our childhood, is we unintentionally put aside our innate ability to make friends easily.

 

Don’t believe me? Think back to when a trip to the playground ended in a ‘new best friend’ after about 20 minutes of sharing the swings with a stranger. Now ask yourself, when is the last time you connected that quickly with someone new?

 

The problem is, adult friendships are crucial, not just to our mental well-being, but to our physical health as well. It’s been proven that having friends leads to less stress, less chance of heart disease, and longer life.

 

But where do we find these new friends? 

 

Try an App

 

Hey!VINA works much like a dating app, but with one very significant difference. Here the goal is to find someone with like interests you may want to befriend. A quick swipe of your finger starts a conversation, leading to a connection and eventually, friendship.

 

Try a Meetup

 

Looking for some fun group activities in your area? Meetup.com is easy to use on your computer, tablet, or phone. Here you search for events of interest to you. You’re then presented with a variety of groups who like to engage in those activities, giving yourself a chance to meet several interesting people at once.

 

Learn Something

 

Signing up for a class allows you to indulge in a new interest at the same time as meeting someone new. Always wanted to cook gourmet dinners? Been thinking about taking flying lessons? Whatever interests you, this is a surefire way to meet new people.

 

Grab a Book

 

Your local library or independent bookstore is a great place to indulge a love of reading while at the same time, getting to know someone new. Book clubs stimulate you intellectually and introduce you to people in the community who share a love for the written word.

 

Take a Walk with a Furry Friend

 

If you have a dog, why not explore more than your own backyard? By taking Fido to your local dog park, you’ll have an opportunity to meet other dog lovers, while at the same time, giving your faithful friend a chance for a little puppy socialization. This is a win all around!

 

Meeting people doesn’t have to be complicated. Opportunities truly are everywhere. So be bold and try something new. You’ll be glad you did!

 

5 Reasons Why Adult Friendships are so Important

Why is it we never put enough emphasis on the important things in life? Are we really that busy?

 

Sadly, we tell ourselves precisely that. In fact, studies have shown we’re not taking the time for friends like we used to. According to a survey taken in the 1980s, the average adult had a minimum of three friends they were close to. Thirty years later, the same study came out with some chilling news. As many as one in four people claim to have no friends at all.

 

Why is it we don’t enjoy adult friendships? Could it be we’ve somehow gotten the idea they’re really not necessary? This is absolutely not the case. In fact, below, you will find five reasons why adult friends are crucial to your life and your good health. 

 

Friends Give Necessary Support

 

We’re not meant to go it alone. We need friends to act as everything from cheerleaders to a shoulder to cry on. 

 

Friends Teach Us How to Act

 

How do we conduct ourselves? If you’re socially awkward, it might be because no one taught you specific social skills critical to success. Friends are where we learn those skills. It’s with friends that we practice, finding out both what’s acceptable and what’s not. What’s more, friends help us get out of the ruts we fall into and challenge us to try social situations we might not otherwise consider.

 

Friends Give Us a Reality Check

 

Who else but a friend is going to tell you when you’re lying to yourself or wandering down the wrong path entirely? This kind of tough love is what keeps us from disaster and guides us away from the pitfalls of life.

 

Couple Friendships Guide Our Own Relationships

 

Not everyone was blessed with parents who modeled good relationship skills. Having “couple friends” is where we form our impressions of how couples in romantic relationships interact. It’s from these relationships we learn how to balance things like work and romance and how to handle the parenting component. Being able to talk to other couples about challenges unique to this kind of relationship also gives a much-needed place to learn.

 

Friendships are Good for Your Health

 

Studies have shown people who sustain healthy friendships live longer and enjoy a better quality of life. People who regularly spend time with friends are shown to adopt healthier lifestyles, experience fewer physical ailments such as heart disease, and have fewer issues with dementia as they age.

 

In short, adult friendships are an important part of your life and worth exploring. Now is not the time to hold back. Get out there, meet people, and discover all that life has to offer. Making time for friendships should be a priority for all adults.

 

6 Tips for Making Friends as an Adult

Who are your friends?

 

A recent survey has determined you might not have a lot of close relationships in your life. In fact, the number of people who claim to have more than three solid friendships in their lives is only 37% or one-third of the population. Even more discouraging is the idea that fully 27% of adults say they have no close relationships at all.

 

Making friends as an adult is a daunting idea. For one thing, we’re swamped. We get caught up on our personal responsibilities and business goals that frequently we don’t make time for a social life outside of loose connections with our children’s friends’ parents and professional networking. Who has the time?

 

Thankfully, you do. It actually takes less time than you think to discover the joy of adult friendships. You can start with these simple tips:

 

Start with the Old

 

Why reinvent the wheel? Instead, ask yourself who your friends used to be. Is it possible you can rekindle some old friendships? In this era of social media, tracking down your best friend from high school is easier than ever. Why not shoot someone a quick message or text to open up the conversation all over again?

 

Become a Listener

 

When in groups of new people, rather than working hard to be the life of the party, why not take a step back? Making a point to actively listen to people makes you more attractive to those around you (everyone loves a listener) and puts you in the position of discovering the things which intrigue you most about the others. It’s a simple way to learn about shared interests, so you can strike up a friendship.

 

Take it to the Next Level

 

Have acquaintances but aren’t quite ready to call them friends yet? Try opening up a little. Being vulnerable forges intimacy with others and deepens the friendship, taking it to the next level. 

 

Stay in Touch

 

Worried about how to hang onto the friends you have? If you want to keep people from falling off the radar and becoming distant, make a point to check in with them once in a while. Send a text, make a call, set up a chance to get together. By checking in, you’re telling the other person they’re important to you and worth your time. A general rule of thumb? Connect about every two weeks.

 

Make a Group

 

Even better? Start putting your friends together in one place by creating a group of friends. There’s nothing more fun than hanging out in a gathering of people who enjoy each other’s company. Start simple, with a lunch date or drinks after work.

5 Steps to Embracing Your Loneliness

Loneliness is something most people try to avoid. But being alone is an inevitable part of life. It happens to everyone at some time or another. It is important to be able to separate solitude from loneliness and to understand what is behind your feelings so you can embrace being alone.

 

1. Work Out the Root Cause of Your Fear of Loneliness

 

Some scientists believe loneliness is a basic emotion on a par with fear and anger. For millions of years, survival relied on being part of a group; being alone was risky. But now, a fear of loneliness can keep us in toxic relationships, unfulfilling jobs, and bad marriages. Identify what’s behind your fear of loneliness, and you can start to work on it. 

2. Learn to Understand your Loneliness

 

Loneliness comes in many different guises. It can be temporary situational loneliness where you find yourself without company or help. Or you can be going through a life crisis that results in more extended social isolation. A relationship breakdown, losing your job, or being seriously ill can all make you feel completely cut off from love and support. 

 

3. Appreciate Solitude

 

Solitude is quite a different state from loneliness. Artists, philosophers, and writers over the centuries have sought out solitude to think deeply and widely and to create their best work. Solitude can be a comfort in an overcrowded life. When you are by yourself, you can expand into being your true self. 

 

4. Confront your Deepest Fears

 

Loneliness can be a product of the fundamental fear of separation that goes back to infancy. Separation means being vulnerable, having no one to rely on except yourself. This is the loneliness that realizes that in the end, there is nothing between you and the stars, no one to rescue you. That sort of existential fear can be scary. What are your deepest fears about being lonely? Identify them, acknowledge them, and take away some of their power over you. 

 

5. Use Self-Actualizing Practices to Overcome Loneliness

 

Techniques like yoga, tai chi, and meditation can help you reconnect with your deepest self. Sitting alone in meditation separates you from the negative thought spirals and feelings that can make you feel so miserable. 

 

A loving-kindness meditation practice can help you replace feelings of separation with feelings of love and connection. Give it a try:

 

• Sit quietly and focus on your breath. 

• Breathe in, think ‘May I be happy.’

• Breathe out, think ‘May I be loved.’

• Breathe in, think ‘May all my suffering be healed.’

• Breathe out, think ‘May I be at peace.’

 

Eventually, repeat the mantra, thinking of people who may be lonely at this time, replacing ‘I’ with ‘you.’

 

Finish by sending positive thoughts to all beings and repeating ‘May all beings be happy. May all beings be loved. May the suffering of all beings be healed. May all beings be at peace.’

 

This simple practice helps you feel connected to all of life whenever you do it.

 

5 Ways to Ensure Loneliness Doesn’t Turn into Depression

Everyone feels lonely from time to time. It’s a normal part of the human experience. But some people are more vulnerable to slipping from loneliness into depression. Or there can be hard times in your life when feeling lonely is only one step away from isolation and depression. 

 

People who are at risk of depression typically feel isolated and lonely; they have low self-esteem that can easily tip into more extreme feelings of self-blame and guilt, even self-disgust. And these negative thought patterns can lead to full-blown depression. If you’re having bad feelings about yourself, feeling lonely and worthless, here are some things you can do to head off the risk of depression. 

 

1. Boost Your Social Support Network

 

Isolation increases the tendency to self-blame. Connection and social contact can go a long way to helping you alleviate your loneliness and get a different perspective on the world. Reach out to friends, colleagues, and family to increase the positive connections in your life. 

 

2. Practice Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness helps you deal with what is in front of you right now. Developing a mindfulness practice can help you accept your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Simply by observing what is happening around you, focusing on what you can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste will help you break out of your negative thought patterns. 

 

3. Practice Self-Compassion

 

People who are caught up in feelings of negative self-worth are often extremely hard on themselves. Allow yourself a little imperfection. Be kind and change that internal monologue to one less punitive. 

 

4. Change Your Self-Talk

 

Have a look at your internal soundtrack. Are you full of self-recrimination? Do you magnify your flaws and faults? Now, would you talk to a friend like that? Rewrite that script into something more positive and self-affirming. If that is too hard to think about right now, try some of the books, apps, or websites that offer affirmations.

 

5. Use Emotional Reappraisal to Boost Your Self-Esteem

 

With a little practice, you can learn techniques to regulate your feelings and turn your self-esteem around. Depression often manifests in ruminating on the negatives in your life. You can use this focus to your advantage when you practice reappraisal.

 

Reappraisal is a cognitive-behavioral technique that allows you to reframe negative thoughts, flipping them to a more positive view. Instead of feeling paralyzed and crushed by life, you can take back control and develop more resilience. 

 

7 Types of Loneliness According to Psychologists

Loneliness is something you can’t avoid in life. There will be times when you feel lonesome, and you can live a happier life if you learn how to deal with it when it happens. To make that an easier process, psychologists have identified seven different types of loneliness.

 

1. ‘New Kid’ Loneliness

 

Like being the new kid at school, there are times in your life when you’re in a completely new situation. Whether it’s a new job, a new city, or a new school, you’re likely to feel lonely in the beginning.

 

2. Not Fitting in Loneliness

 

This is the loneliness that strikes when you feel different from the people around you. You may be an introvert in a team of extroverts. Maybe your values aren’t shared with the people around you. You feel separate and different. 

 

3. Lack of Romance Loneliness

 

When you don’t have a partner, it can seem like everyone else in the entire world has a significant other. Or maybe you do have a partner, but you feel disconnected. That’s lonely. 

 

4. Missing a Pet Loneliness

 

There’s no company like that of your pet. Maybe you’re missing your dog, cat, or gerbil. Pets can provide a special connection, and when it’s not there, you really miss it. 

 

5. Too Busy for Me Loneliness

 

There are times in your life when it feels like you’re not a priority for anyone. People get busy with their own lives and leave you feeling stranded and alone. 

 

6. Toxic Fringes Loneliness

 

Worse than busy friends are toxic ‘friends’ who get their energy from belittling you or making you feel inadequate. If you don’t feel supported by your friends, or you feel you can't really trust them, they are not good friends to have in your life. 

 

7. Lack of Company Loneliness

 

Sometimes loneliness can come simply from not having anyone to hang out with. Someone just to share space and be with. It doesn’t matter if you’re busy at work or are out partying every night. A lack of a quiet presence can make you feel deeply lonely. 

 

Once you've worked out what type of loneliness you’re feeling right now, you can take steps to address it. For example, if you’re missing having an animal in your life, you can adopt a pet or volunteer at the local animal rescue center. 

 

Make time in your life for meaningful relationships, not the ones that don’t feed your soul. Look for people you share values or interests with, and slowly you will make connections that will banish loneliness. 

 

Communication Skills

The word communication is a general word in its meaning. It could take on many roles, depending on the use and context. It also has many formats as its delivery mechanism. You can listen to music or watch videos, or you can read a book. Conversations are forms of communications as well.

 

Because of the general aspects of communication, it’s difficult to imagine formulating it into a skill. But it is possible, and many colleges offer majors in communication, which elevates the field. It’s not necessary to study at a four-year college to enhance your skills of communication. It takes basic knowledge and some practice.

 

The biggest skill you can use to communicate better is to listen. People are not natural listeners as they are focused on themselves. It’s how we are wired. We will always put ourselves first. Part of that is a survival mechanism. But, because of our self-serving nature, listening to others is secondary and requires us to put effort into being better listeners.

 

To increase your ability to listen to others, the next time you are speaking with someone, repeat back everything they say. That may be a little unnerving to them, at first. But, if they look at you with a bewildered look, explain that you are just making sure you understood what they said. Once they get past the awkwardness, they will welcome the exchange.

 

The next step towards better communication is to use simple language. When you want others to understand your meaning, you need to make sure everyone will understand the words. People have different levels of education. Therefore, you want to use the lowest common denominator when speaking to everyone. You should not view this as a means of looking down at others. Your goal is to make sure you are understood. Speaking and writing in basic language is the best way to accomplish this.

 

You must consider the feelings of the people with who you're communicating. Even if you are a manager, barking orders at people is one of the least effective ways. Consider everyone’s opinions and needs. Keep people engaged in the communication platform. This way they take ownership in the process. That is a massive benefit for excellent communication. You will get more out of people when this happens than merely rattling off commands as if they are robots. There are some instances, such as the military, where shouting out orders is necessary. But, these are the exception, not the rule.

 

5 Tips for Having Difficult Conversations with your Partner

You love your partner, but sooner or later, a tough conversation needs to happen. While this is normal, (after all, what relationship doesn’t have its bumps along the way) how you handle those conversations will determine whether you come away from this particular conflict with a stronger appreciation for each other. This is why it’s so important to handle difficult conversations well. 

 

How do you ensure you engage in the best conversation possible in these circumstances?

 

Start with Not Putting Off the Talk Longer than Necessary

 

Take time to count to ten or to take a few deep breaths before beginning. After all, starting with too much emotion will be more damaging than helpful. Once you’re cooled down though, it’s time to talk. Why is it better sooner rather than later? By putting things off, you tend to build up resentment and inflate the conflict. It’s important to address situations before they get out of hand. A small problem today is much easier to solve than a giant one several weeks from now.

 

Drop the Good News / Bad News Approach

 

No one likes waiting for the other shoe to drop, so instead of giving the compliment with a ‘but’ lurking to negate everything you’ve just said, just come out and say the bad news first. If you’re determined to add in the compliment, do so after the bad stuff is out of the way, so you leave the person on a more positive note.

 

Plan Your Conversation

 

Rather than blindside your partner with an uncomfortable discussion, let them know you have something you want to talk about. Make it clear you’re wanting to discuss something that affects your feelings, rather than starting out in an attack. There’s a vast difference between, “I’d like to talk to you sometime about your drinking” vs. “I’d like to talk to you about how I feel when I see you drinking so heavily.” 

 

What Are Your Goals?

 

In any heavy conversation, you need to agree at some point on common goals. Working toward the same thing will help you find your way through the conversation to that eventual place.

 

Keep a Positive Spirit

 

Aim for optimism. Even if the conversation isn’t going how you would like it to, finding something to hope for will soften the outcome no matter what. 

 

Difficult conversations are just that: Difficult. But having a plan in place will help you to get through them. Use these steps to build the framework of your conversation, and even if the outcome is bad, getting there won’t be as difficult as you think. 

 

Top Tips for Resolving Conflicts in Your Relationships

No matter how much you like the other person, at some point, conflict is likely to happen. While most conflicts are fairly small (like trying to decide where to go out for dinner), left untended a conflict can fester and grow. That’s why it’s so important to resolve conflicts in your relationships before they have a chance to take on a life of their own.

 

How do you go about doing that?

 

1. Start by listening. But don’t just listen to the spoken words, but the feelings behind them. It’s the emotions that drive the conversation after all! By listening actively, meaning pausing to ask questions, clarify, and to reiterate what you think the other person is saying, you tell the other person that what they have to say matters. But more importantly, you’re letting them know that they’re being heard.

 

2. Look for the resolution over being right. Giving up the notion that you have to ‘win’ is where you start seeing the solutions. Conflict is not a competition.

 

3. Stay in the moment. Instead of focusing on what happened that brought you into this conflict, pay attention to what’s going on right now. Now isn’t the time for blame. Rather look for solutions.

 

4. Decide what’s important right now. That is called ‘picking your battles’ and is important in determining whether a thing is worth fighting over. Ask yourself if this is just an issue over a minor annoyance that will be easily forgotten, or if you have something deeper going on that maybe needs to be addressed.

 

5. Know how and when to disengage. That means being able to do what it takes to walk away. It might be forgiveness is in order. It might be that you’re just going to need to agree to disagree. Worst case scenario? It might be time just to let the matter go entirely. Whatever the case, there’s nothing to be gained by staying in the conflict. 

 

Resolving conflicts isn’t a hard skill to learn. By following these tips, you will discover how better to deal with conflict in every kind of relationship – whether business or personal. So, take heart – a misunderstanding doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. Instead look at your conflict as a step toward better understanding that will, in turn, lead to better relationships in the long run.

 

5 Tips for Better, Healthier Boundaries

We all have boundaries. Maybe you don’t feel like you do, because of many times past when people have overrun you. Somewhere around the umpteenth time of being taken advantage of, of being ignored about your own needs, and treated as though your time is not valuable, you start to believe that you’ve lost whatever boundaries you had.

 

The good news is, you can re-create your boundaries, and make them stronger and healthier than ever before. How? Read on for a quick list of five tips to jumpstart your life and put it on track for a happier you.

 

1. Permit yourself to start over. While this step seems obvious, there are quite a few reasons for it. First, by telling yourself it’s ok to set boundaries, you’re declaring that you’re important enough even to have them. But also, in acknowledging that it’s ok to start over, you’re not getting hung up on the past. That is you, taking control. Embrace it!

 

2. Pay attention. Here’s where you start getting into the details of who you are and who you want to be. How have people taken advantage of you in the past? Where have you wished there were boundaries? What do you need to do to establish them now? Be mindful of your feelings. Look for the disappointment and anger. What has set those off? Chances are those are places where the boundaries need the most work. You’ll find that self-awareness is key to your success so don’t be afraid to dig into your emotions.

 

3. Where have you been? And where are you now? Chances are a lot of what you feel about boundaries came from your wiring as a child. If no one respected your space growing up, it’s hard to ask people to respect it now. Examine the boundaries of your childhood and compare them to the boundaries of today. What’s lacking? What needs work? It might be that some of the things you find make boundary setting particularly difficult in some situations. Don’t be afraid to ask for help either with a counselor or therapist to work through some of that old baggage.

 

4. Take care of yourself. When you’re not feeling well, it’s nearly impossible to be firm in your boundaries. Being strong and healthy gives you the energy needed to put your foot down when you need to. With that in mind, taking care of yourself not only makes sense, but it is also necessary for future success. Remember the basics: Eat healthy, exercise, and get enough sleep every night.

 

5. Speak up. There’s going to be pushback when you set boundaries. Having healthy boundaries means that you put the work in to maintain them. That means saying ‘no’ when you need to. By being assertive you not only protect those boundaries, but you also tell the world that you have something to say. Need help? Enlist a support team who can cheer you on when you’re flagging – and who aren’t afraid to point out when you’re starting to slip. Sometimes we all need some tough love, especially when we’re pushing for better, healthier boundaries.

 

By following these steps, you’re not only drawing a line in the sand; you’re taking control of your life. Healthy boundaries are meant to protect you so that you have room to grow and become the person you always knew you could be. But first, you have to begin. So, why are you waiting? Aren’t you ready for that new improved you?

 

10 Expert Tips for Negotiating in Today’s Business Environment

The heart of business lies in negotiation. Whether you’re trying to close on a sale or get yourself included on a plush project that could make your career, knowing how to get people to listen to you is crucial to your success. 

 

How do you go about getting what you want? Read on for some expert tips for negotiating in today’s business environment.

 

Challenge the Status Quo

 

You start by being assertive. Remember, everything is open to negotiation. You need to step out in confidence and be able to express your needs, while never losing sight of the fact that you have the right to ask for anything. 

 

Listen

 

You’d be amazed how much more people are willing to go to bat for you if you only do them the courtesy of listening to what they have to say. More important, by letting the other person do the talking, you’ll find out everything you need to know to handle the negotiation.

 

Research

 

Know what the other person needs before going in. Have settled in your own mind the value and worth of what you’re negotiating for. This information will help you to find the middle ground where agreement can be reached.

 

Walk Away

 

Be willing to end negotiations if things aren’t going well. Don’t be hammered into a deal you’re going to regret. Also, by terminating the negotiation, you show the other person what your values are worth.

 

Slow Down

 

There’s no need to rush. Take time to think through the options. 

 

Aim High

 

Oddly enough, you’ll have better success when you ask for something big. 

 

Know the Competition

 

Understanding what the other side needs will always work in your favor. Keep your focus there. How can you take advantage of their worries and frustrations?

 

Look for the Mutual Benefit

 

If you can find the solution that’s beneficial to the person you’re negotiating with, as well as yourself, you’re sure to have success. Find out how your resolution can best meet their needs, then be sure to point that out.

 

Remember the Give and Take

 

If you give up anything in the negotiation, make sure you’re getting something in return for it. The deal has to be fair on both sides, or it’s not worth taking.

 

Keep an Emotional Distance

 

Remember, success or failure is never about you. Nothing that happens in business should ever be personal.

 

By following these tips, you’re sure to experience success in whatever negotiation you face in the business world.