Success Is Not Luck, It’s You!

Do you have feelings or worries that your co-workers or friends will think you're a fraud? Do you often feel like you don’t belong? These are feelings of impostor syndrome and an estimated 70% of successful people experience this in their lives. 

 

Impostor syndrome can cause you to feel that you only accomplished your goals due to luck. Maybe you think you aren’t as good as your boss thinks you are and you worry that you’ll be found out. 

 

Research shows us that both men and women battle impostor syndrome and are unable to acknowledge and own their successes. 

 

Five Patterns of Impostor Syndrome

 

According to the impostor expert Valerie Young and author of “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women”, there are five patterns that can be found in those who suffer from this phenomenon.

• You set unrealistic goals for yourself and are often considered a perfectionist. 

• You are afraid to speak up or answer questions due to fear of not knowing the answer.

• You are afraid to ask for help because you think you’ll look like a failure to others.

• You feel like a fraud if the answer doesn’t come naturally.

• You push yourself hard than your peers in order to prove yourself. 

 

Individuals that live with impostor syndrome think that things happen to them due to luck rather than their own hard work or abilities. This then leads to a cycle of negative thinking that can hold them back from moving up the corporate ladder. They may even end up working harder than necessary, which could lead to increased feelings of failure or burnout.

 

Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life

 

If you are living with impostor syndrome you may struggle with accepting your own success. Perhaps you feel that you don’t deserve your corporate position or an award of accomplishment. If you can relate to this, then there are some suggestions on how you can fix your inner impostor. 

 

• Change your mindset to accept your shortcomings instead of seeking a perfect outcome with every project or goal. 

• Embrace your imperfections and learn to accept yourself the way you are. Remind yourself that you did your best. 

• Keep a list of realistic goals. If you have a list of goals already then look through them with honesty.

• Believe the effort you’ve put forth regardless of the outcome. You may have worked hard towards a goal just to fall short of the desired outcome. This is an opportunity to accept the outcome and still be proud of the work you put into it. 

• Create a focused goal instead of trying to divide your attention energy between unrelated topics. Be okay with having someone else work on a particular area of a task so you are free to focus on what you enjoy.

 

Impostor syndrome can cause the strongest and most successful individuals to feel like they are not good enough. This syndrome has a negative effect on all areas of your life. So take time to assess where you are and what you can do to move forward in your life. 

What Is Impostor Syndrome?

Impostor syndrome is best described as the fear of being considered a fraud or doubting one's accomplishments. Even those who have reached a level of success in their chosen field are often full of anxiety and crippling thoughts of being considered a fraud. According to the Journal of Behavioral Science, it is estimated that 70% of people in the U.S. experience impostor syndrome. 

 

Impostor syndrome (IS) is an internal feeling that you believe you are not as qualified as other may think you are. This is often connected to thoughts of perfectionism and can be applied to your intelligence or achievement. If you have feelings of being a fraud or that you did not deserve that raise, then you could be dealing with impostor syndrome. 

 

Four Characteristics of Impostor Syndrome

 

Those who suffer with impostor syndrome doubt their own skills and accomplishments despite the evidence of the success. Below are four common indicators you may be dealing with impostor syndrome.

 

• Deep-seated feelings of fear that you aren’t able to meet expectations.

• Undermining your achievements even when you worked diligently towards that goal.

• Setting unrealistic goals and then feeling disappointed if you do not meet those goals.

• Doubting yourself no matter what you’re working on or working towards.

 

If you recognize any of the above, there some things you can do to move past these feelings. Begin by confronting your feelings and any beliefs you hold about yourself. If you struggle with any of this, consider speaking with a professional or close friend. Confiding in someone can help you gain clarity on your feelings and beliefs. 

 

Impostor syndrome can be ingrained in you as a child and continue well into adulthood. Struggling with feelings of being a fraud can happen to anyone but is seen mostly in successful women. According to research done with Psycnet.apa.org, “despite their outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experience the impostor phenomenon persist in believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.”

 

Do You Have Impostor Syndrome?

 

So, how do you know if you suffer from impostor syndrome? One way to know if you are dealing with it is to take a free online test. Simply answer the questions that you can find through a quick online search, or try the free test on at Psycom.net.  

 

You can remove impostor syndrome by first recognizing it in your life and seeing how it is affecting you. Progressively work towards breaking those limiting beliefs by thinking of the quality of work you are performing versus the quantity. 

 

If someone pays you a compliment, remind yourself that it is a fact and that you deserve it. Begin to recognize your own successes and take time to celebrate the wins in your life. Eventually your inner voice will support your new positive thoughts so you can overcome the feelings of impostor syndrome.

Your Childhood May Have Contributed to Impostor Syndrome

Do you have repeated thoughts you haven’t rightfully gained your job or an award? Do you fear being outed or exposed for not being as talented or enough in your career?

 

Impostor syndrome is a habitual thought pattern, according to PsychCentral, and may stem from your family background. Impostor syndrome can bring on feelings of chronic self-doubt and even a lack of celebration of their achievements. 

 

Imposter syndrome can limit your belief in your abilities, talents, and even accomplishments. This can then lead to increased anxiety and low self-esteem. Many adults live with limiting beliefs because of their family upbringing and often do not know that this is even an issue until later in life. 

 

Where Does Impostor Syndrome Come From?

 

Impostor syndrome can come from receiving praise or acknowledgment for something that you didn’t deserve, and this can directly influence your thoughts into causing feelings of being a phony. There may be a variety of reasons why you battle thoughts of feeling like a fraud or have the feeling of being an impostor in your life. 

 

Impostor syndrome can hinder your self-esteem and even keep you from trying new activities in life. If you frequently battle feelings where you don’t deserve recognition for a job well done, then you could be living with it. It is reported that many individuals are known to have this syndrome without realizing it. 

 

Five Reasons You May Battle Impostor Syndrome

 

There are five common reasons why you may be battling impostor syndrome, such as:

 

• You may have received praise or recognition for something that you did not deserve, such as a blue ribbon for a project when you know you did not do your best.

• You may have been praised for being good in a skill that you actually were not good at just so you would not be left out. 

• You may have never received any type of positive reinforcement for a job well done even though you worked to your best ability.

• You may not feel deserving of something of value because you were told you were not good enough or should have done better regardless of how much effort you put forth.

• Did your family assign you a label such as “the sporty one” or “the smart one” without recognizing other areas you excelled at?

 

These labels or ingrained life lessons could cause you to grow into an adult that suffers from impostor syndrome. 

 

Once you can relate to one or more of these life experiences, you can change your own life. For example, if they labeled you the “smart one” of your family, then you could begin by recognizing a job well done in another area of your life. Perhaps trying out for a sports team or taking part in a community event can be the beginning of self-recognition and the shedding of your impostor syndrome feelings. 

 

Take time to recognize your own achievements, as this can build your self-esteem and help you shed that label.

Deep Breathing to Manage Stress

Sadly, we’re bombarded with multiple stress-inducing factors on a daily basis. From incessant pressure at work to responsibilities at home that never seem to end, life is hard.

 

That said, stressors don’t have to be small things that build up over time. They can also be one big life event that comes out of nowhere and turns your world upside down.

 

Whichever way stress burrows into your life, the problems of dealing with it are the same. Luckily, one technique that’s proven to be successful at managing stress is deep breathing. This calming technique has many benefits besides lowering stress levels, such as improved blood flow and helping you sleep better.

 

So, keep reading to discover how deep breathing can make you healthier, stronger, and less anxious.

 

What Is Deep Breathing?

 

Deep breathing is a technique used to help you achieve inner peace and a sense of calm. The whole point of deep breathing is that it allows you to breathe through your abdomen, rather than the shallow breathing we typically do through our chest.

 

What abdominal breathing does is help control the nervous system by reducing the release of stress hormones. Thus, it encourages the body to calm down and relax, decreasing anxiety levels.

 

Consequently, this enhances your overall well-being. Deep breathing through the abdomen also prevents various illnesses and conditions, like high blood pressure, obesity, and Type-2 diabetes.

 

Moreover, deep breathing helps you focus more on what you’re doing. So, rather than make rash decisions, you can take your time to think things over.

 

How Does Deep Breathing Work?

 

Deep breathing allows you to boost the amount of oxygen in your bloodstream. Having more oxygen means your cardiovascular system works double time.

 

Then, as soon as your brain detects this substantial amount of oxygen in your system, it responds by doing several things. The first of these things is that it reduces the concentration of stress hormones. So, as a result, you calm down, and you become less stressed.

 

Follow these steps to perform basic deep breathing exercises:

 

• First, put your right hand on your abdomen near your navel.

• Next, place your left hand on the center of your chest.

• Some people find it helpful to close their eyes, so you can try that and see if you feel comfortable.

• Inhale and exhale fully a couple of times to shift from chest to abdominal, or diaphragmatic, breathing.

• Next, inhale deeply while focusing on the rising of the abdomen as the lungs fill with air.

• As you do this, it should cause your belly to expand about an inch.

• Then, slowly let out your breath.

• While exhaling, most of the movement should be in the area underneath your right hand. Your chest should only move slightly.

• Each time you breathe in and out, focus on how you feel.

• Repeat anywhere from 5–7 times.

 

Benefits of Deep Breathing

 

When you’re calm and relaxed, you breathe through your nose and take slow, even breaths. But then, something stresses us out, and our ‘fight or flight’ response kicks in.

 

This is when our breathing becomes more rapid and shallow to increase our oxygen supply. More oxygen means more blood rushing to our extremities, allowing us to run for cover or fight for our lives.

 

Yet, in today’s modern world, we neither run nor fight. Instead, we create this imbalance of oxygen and carbon dioxide that has no way of escaping, which affects our health and well-being.

 

Here are a few physiological benefits of controlled, deep breathing:

 

• Lowered heart rate and blood pressure

• Reduced build-up of lactic acid in muscle tissue

• Stronger immune system

• A boost in physical energy

• Reduced levels of stress hormones

• A renewed blanched of oxygen and carbon dioxide levels in the blood

• Increased feelings of calm and relaxation

 

Deep Breathing Tips and Tricks

 

Here are some tips and tricks you can use the next time you’re using the deep breathing technique to help you reverse your stress responses and feel calmer.

 

• The trick to going from chest breathing to abdominal breathing is those first two full exhalations.

• Pushing out the air from the bottom of our lungs creates a vacuum that will allow you to switch to abdominal breath on your next inhalation. Next, pause for a second or two before inhaling slowly.

• The recommended breathing is through the nose. Yet, it takes a while for some people to get used to nostril breathing. So, in the meantime, you can breathe through your mouth until you’re more comfortable.

• Avoid taking more than five deep breaths. More than five breaths make most people feel light-headed. If this sounds familiar, take 2–3 breaths at a time to avoid feeling giddy or off-balance.

3 Essential Steps to Add Intensity to Your Goals

Do you want to know the secret to really achieving your biggest dreams? The secret sauce is to add intensity to your goals. Make them big, think big, act big. 

 

Often times, people fall short of achieving their best life because they run out of energy or motivation. The get side-tracked, distracted. But load your goals with intensity and you’ll be powering ahead. 

 

Here are three things you can do to turbo-charge your gaols with intensity. 

 

Make it All About You

 

Probably you weren’t encouraged to put yourself front and center. Did your mom tell you not to be selfish, did your dad tell you to share? That’s a great way to get on with people but putting yourself second or third won’t help you get ahead. 

 

Add intensity by putting yourself center stage. Make yourself the hero of your life story. Imagine yourself some time down the track. You’ve achieved your goals. You’re living your dream life. How does it feel? What makes you feel strong and happy and proud?

 

Build your strengths, lift your weak points, and focus on making Project You the center of your life. 

 

Dream Big

 

What’s your big vision? Do you want to be president? CEO of your own company? Do you want to win an Oscar? Maybe a Nobel Prize? Or a Pulitzer? 

No one got anywhere by staying small. Whatever your dream is, make it as big as you can. It might seem daring, even impossible, or boastful. 

 

But think hard. How do you want to make your mark on the world? Ramp it up and make it as big as you can. Intensify it!

 

That’s your goal. 

 

Go for It

 

Big dreams, big goals don’t mean anything unless you act on them. It’s up to you to make it happen. The longer the gap between creating your vision and acting, the less likely you are to do anything at all, and your big dream becomes a pipe dream, a might have been. 

 

Start by working out a plan on how to get there. Do you need new skills, do you need to reach out to people in your network for advice or mentoring? 

 

Most importantly, make the commitment to direct your energy into making your goals your reality. Ramp up your dedication and ramp up your efforts. 

 

Add intensity to your goals and your desires to achieve them. With determination and intensity, you’re already on your path to success!

 

3 Proven Ways to Make Your Biggest Dreams Happen

Did you know that your brain doesn’t know the difference between what you imagine and what has actually happened? It’s true! Neuroscience has proven it. Athletes and other types of performers have used the power of their imagination to overcome challenges and reach their goals for years. Why shouldn’t you?

 

So, let’s do an exercise. Start by closing your eyes, but don’t fall asleep. It’s the kind of eye-closing where you’re entirely aware of everything going on around you, but you’re present in your own mind. Some may call it dreaming, but the difference is this kind of dreaming is active. You’re going to envision what you want your life to look like. When you close your eyes and start thinking about what you want out of your life, what are the first things that come to mind? Hold onto those because we’re going to bring those dreams to life with these three steps: 

 

Allow Yourself to Dream 

 

Your eyes are closed, your mind is wandering, and all of a sudden, it’s put to a halt. It’s in our nature to be hesitant about dreaming big because we don’t want to fail or get hurt. But when you close down your dreams, you make it impossible to shoot for the stars. The next time you find yourself sucked into a vortex of dreaming, allow yourself to indulge in it. Then, make those dreams concrete by thinking of the specifics. For example, let’s say your big dream is to run a race. Dive deeper into that dream. Think about the type of competition, how long it is, and what it will look like to cross the finish line.

 

Visualize It 

 

We talked about the finish line—let’s really explore that. It’s one thing to think about a dream as a remote possibility or something that would be fun to accomplish. It’s another thing to visualize what it would feel like to reach that big dream. Actually feel the excitement and pride in your body. When you’re thinking about the big-picture goals you have, think about them more precisely. Ask these questions: 

 

• What am I wearing?

• How old am I?

• What does it feel like to say, “I did it”? 

• How do I celebrate? 

• Who is celebrating with me? 

 

Those are just a few questions, but the list goes on! Visualizing gets you from a mere possibility to a reality. 

 

Make it Happen 

 

The most natural step and the hardest step at the same time. The last step is to make it happen. Wake up early. Write down your goals. Put post-its up on your mirror reminding you to keep going. Taking that step is critical, and it’s challenging to do. If your dreams are worth it, though, it’ll be a piece of cake! 

 

5 Easy Steps to Start Visualizing Your Success Today

You may not realize it, but you are already a powerful visualizer. You probably spend a lot of time imagining your life, but chances are you’re more focused on worry and anxiety, not on making success your reality. How often do you think about that presentation or that date, and imagine the worst possible outcome? If your inner monologue tends to revolve around potential mishaps or anxious ‘what ifs?” then you need to switch up your visualizing. 

 

Time to accentuate the positive and welcome success into your life!

 

Know what you want 

 

Elite sports players use this technique all the time to improve their performance and achieve their goals. They visualize scoring that goal or winning their race. Imagine if a pole vaulter looked at the vault and thought, ‘oh man, that’s high, I’ll never do it.’ That’s setting themselves up for failure, right? Instead, look at your deepest desire, be clear about it, and see yourself soaring over that pole. 

 

Be Clear About Your Goal

 

The secret sauce of visualizing success lies in the details. See yourself achieving, even surpassing your goal. Say our pole vaulter wants to clear six meters. Visualizing six meters isn’t enough. They have to imagine six and a half, maybe even seven. 

 

Instead of a new job, visualize a promotion, visualize being CEO. See yourself winning that prize. Visualize your personal best and see yourself smashing it. Think big and ask yourself, “What would my life look like when I achieve my goal?”

 

Feel Your Success

 

Once you have clarity on what you want, focus your attention on what success feels like. What emotions come up for you as you imagine yourself living that life of success?

 

Start Making Success Happen

 

Success doesn’t come overnight or all in a bunch. You can start making your successful life today by taking the baby steps you need to build your success on. Every day before you get out of bed, think of three things you can do that day to move you closer to achieving your dreams. 

 

Stick to it

 

Successful people are persistent people. They know that true, lasting success takes time and effort. There will be setbacks and missteps, and plenty of challenges on the way. But if you have a purpose and a clear vision, you’ll make it. Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t give up

 

You have the power to change your reality to manifest success and happiness. You just have to start believing in the best possible outcomes, not the worst. Rev up your visualizing engine and get started! You can do it!

 

5 Tips to Help You Have More Energy When Socializing

Introvert or extrovert? You wouldn't think it matters, but the truth is, some people thrive on social interaction. Others don't.

 

But even if you're not an introvert, social interactions can sometimes be draining. The problem is these interactions tend to be the ones where you do need to be at your best. Think about the last time you had a job interview or spent time in conversation with a mentor. Even the best conversations can leave you tired.

 

So, how do you turn this around and keep up your vitality for even the most draining social interactions?

 

Imagine Who You Want to Be

 

If you want to have high energy during social interaction, you first need to picture yourself as someone who has this kind of energy. What does it look like? What kind of gestures would you use when speaking? What tone of voice do you use? Do you laugh or smile often? If you can picture the person you want to become, it's much easier to become that person. This might seem like a form of acting, and at first, it might well be, but the more you do it, the more authentic this high-energy version of yourself will become. 

 

Try Being Someone Else

 

Who do you admire who has a lot of energy? This might be an actor or celebrity, or it might be your own best friend. When interacting socially, start asking yourself how this other individual would likely act in the same situation. Do what they do. Again, mimicking high energy has a funny way of becoming high energy.

 

Try Some Coffee

 

This one won't work for everyone, but coffee is a great stimulant. If you know you're going to be needing a lot of energy for an upcoming social situation, why not have a cup of coffee beforehand? You might need to experiment with this slightly to figure out how much coffee gives you an optimal amount of energy without leaving you jittery. 

 

Look Around

 

When attention lags, it's natural to come off as being more low energy. By remaining interested in your surroundings and especially in the people around you, you naturally maintain a higher level of energy. Start taking note of details. This has the added benefit of giving you things to talk about. 

 

Deal with Stress

 

if the energy drains right out of you in social situations, chances are it's because you're stressed. Any time you're experiencing anxiety, your body takes more energy to get through simple tasks. With this in mind, the best way to get more energy for social situations is the deal with the root of the anxiety you're feeling when being social. This might mean dealing with some baggage. It's worth it in the end, though. 

 

How to Make Networking Events Less Stressful

How many people do you know who actually enjoy networking? If you’re like most people, you find it awkward or uncomfortable, and if you’re an introvert, it might even feel excruciating. 

 

But you know that effective networking is crucial for your career, whether you’re looking for a new job, a promotion, or to build your business. Excellent networking skills are essential if you want to get ahead. So how can you make it less stressful? Try these tips to get more out of your network, and maybe you’ll even enjoy it!

 

Do your homework

 

You wouldn’t dream of going to a job interview or an important meeting without preparing, would you? Treat networking events the same. Find out as much as you can about the event, who’s organizing it, and who will be there. Study the sponsor’s website and arm yourself with knowledge, so you have two or three topics of conversation to help break the ice and start connecting with other participants. 

 

Find yourself a role

 

If it’s appropriate, see if there’s any way you can volunteer to help out. If you have some official position, you have a ready-made pretext to connect with people. Make sure to check in with the organizers first, but maybe they could do with some extra people to staff the registration desk or set out welcome packs. Perhaps you could offer to take event photos or live Tweet. At question time, you could help pass the microphone.

 

Take a friend

 

Who says you have to go to networking events alone? It will feel much better if you invite a friend or colleague to share the learnings. Not only will you feel braver about connecting, but you’ll also likely look more approachable than if you’re standing alone radiating anxiety.  

 

Find the key networker

 

You can take the stress off yourself by looking around to find the extrovert, the natural networker who knows everyone. In any big group, there will always be one or two people who are enjoying connecting with people. Find that person and benefit from their positive networking. Follow in their wake, and you will find it much easier to join in the conversation. 

 

Turn it into a game

 

Try taking the heat off yourself by turning networking into a game. Before you go, make yourself a list or even a bingo card of things you want to achieve. Your networking goals can include things like connecting with two people, handing your business card to five people, connecting on LinkedIn to three people.