How to Deal With a Difficult Emotion Using Mindfulness

Mindfulness has a great many uses and is often prescribed by self-help gurus, doctors, writers and others as a tool anyone can use to improve their mental health.

 

Often these focusses on the long-term benefits of being more present and aware. At the same time though, mindfulness can also be used like a scalpel to deal with more acute problems. Here we will look at how it can be leveraged for instance to tackle specific emotions as they arise.

 

Turning Towards Emotions

 

Normally when we experience negative emotions, we react either by trying to ‘fight them’ or by trying to suppress them. This can be described as almost ‘turning away’ from our emotions to try and deny them their power over us.

 

Unfortunately, this ultimately tends to result in our becoming more stressed or upset as the emotions bubble under the surface, or as we frustrate ourselves in trying to fight them.

 

Instead, though, mindfulness teaches us to turn towards our emotions. What this means, is that you are going to listen to the thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing and then simply acknowledge them. Now you say ‘I am stressed’, ‘I am embarrassed’ or ‘I am upset’. Don’t be ashamed or upset that emotion exists but simply recognize that you are currently in that state.

 

People get upset sometimes. People get angry sometimes. But if you’re simply aware of your condition, then you can be aware that perhaps the thoughts you’re thinking aren’t completely objective. What’s more, you should keep hold of the knowledge that emotions aren’t permanent. In other words, you’re feeling angry right now and as such your thoughts shouldn’t be taken too seriously. But in a few hours, you will likely feel better and then the world will seem like a brighter place again.

 

This creates a subtle but powerful shift. No longer is the world a terrible place and thus you are upset, now you are upset and thus the world seems like a terrible place. The difference is that you now know that belief is not true.

 

Debriefing

 

What’s more, being aware and accepting of your emotions in this way will allow you to assess them in a kind of ‘debriefing’ and to look at what triggered them, how you dealt with them and what they made you think and do. The more you break down and intellectualize your emotions, the more you will find you gain control over them.

How to Use “Morning Pages” Journaling as Part of Your Best Morning Routine

You’ve probably seen people post about their use of morning pages on Instagram or Pinterest, but have you tried it yourself? No? Why the heck not? Writing morning pages is a simple practice that can be an added benefit to not only your morning routine but your day as well.

 

Creating morning pages is the act of writing three pages of free-flowing thought by longhand. You are probably thinking, isn’t that journaling? Yes, yes, it is. However, mornings pages are done first thing in the morning, and without any premeditation as to what will be written.

 

The benefits of this practice are vast. The process will allow you to clear the revolving ideas from your mind, open up to new ways of thinking, and help lessen anxiety or negative thought patterns your mind naturally gravitates towards. The act of writing down in longhand what is floating in your mind allows you to engage with your own thoughts and surroundings in a way that typing does not allow. This is mostly because you are slowing down and can, therefore, take more notice of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings.

 

Now that you know about morning pages, how do you incorporate this into your morning routine? You will first need your preferred writing utensil. This can be a pen or pencil, as well as a notebook or blank, loose paper. The next and final step is placing yourself with those items as soon as possible after waking up in the morning. You can do your morning pages from your bed or kitchen counter, with tea or coffee, or a sports drink even. 

 

At first, it may seem challenging to sit and write three pages longhand. Your hand may cramp, you may not know what to write, and three pages could seem like an eternity. The point is to stick with the process. If day one, you only write half a page, be sure to not take a defeatist standpoint. Come back the next morning and try again. 

 

Remember that no one is going to read what you write. Your words do not need to be profound, thought-provoking, or even grammatically correct. You just have to write. Any thoughts, feelings, or dreams that come to mind go onto the paper. You can even throw away your pages every morning when you’re done.

 

Morning pages can seem incredibly daunting, but do not let that stop you from exploring the benefits for yourself.

 

12 Ways to Improve Your Mood in Less than a Minute

If you’re feeling a bit blue, you might be surprised to hear that are lots of ways to lift your mood in less than a minute. Skeptical? Try these and see!

 

• Put some drops of lavender and orange essential oils in a diffuser. These oils have been shown to help with anxiety and to promote calmness and positivity.

• Have a snack. A handful of nuts or a square of dark chocolate will send endorphins flooding into your brain and lift your mood fast. 

• Get some sunshine. Go outside and get some fresh air and some sunshine, Studies have shown that people who have significant exposure to light have less depression, fewer sleep problems and are even more productive. If you can't make it outside, go and look out of a window.

• Go for a walk. Even walking around the block will help to lift your heart rate and energy levels. 

• Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe in and out deeply three times. Focused breathing lowers your blood pressure and calms the mind. 

• Lift your shoulders up to your ears and then let them drop. Do this three times and feel the tension ebb away. It’s easy to hold onto a lot of tension and stress without realizing it.

• If you’re feeling nervous before an interview or presentation, go into the stairwell or the restroom. Breathing in, open your arms wide, breathing out give yourself a big hug. It’s almost impossible to do this without smiling. 

• Smile! Smile and make eye contact with a colleague or the guy in the coffee shop or the person serving you at the deli. The physical act of using your smile-muscles can genuinely make you feel happy. And it's contagious. Chances are you'll make them smile too and improve their day.

• Stand up straight, lift your head and throw your shoulders back. Adopt a Wonder Woman or Superman pose and feel the change in your energy. 

• A cup of tea or coffee will instantly lift your mood. You probably know that caffeine is a stimulant, but even low or no caffeine hot drinks will give you a boost or calm you down whether it’s chamomile or green tea, a chai latte or hot water and lemon. 

• Listen to music that you love. You can choose custom mood music, or play your old favorites. Music has been shown to have a powerful effect on mood.

• Ask for a hug. Probably not from your boss, but a family member or friend would love to give you the instant comfort of an embrace.

 

10 Expert Tips for Negotiating in Today’s Business Environment

The heart of business lies in negotiation. Whether you’re trying to close on a sale or get yourself included on a plush project that could make your career, knowing how to get people to listen to you is crucial to your success. 

 

How do you go about getting what you want? Read on for some expert tips for negotiating in today’s business environment.

 

Challenge the Status Quo

 

You start by being assertive. Remember, everything is open to negotiation. You need to step out in confidence and be able to express your needs, while never losing sight of the fact that you have the right to ask for anything. 

 

Listen

 

You’d be amazed how much more people are willing to go to bat for you if you only do them the courtesy of listening to what they have to say. More important, by letting the other person do the talking, you’ll find out everything you need to know to handle the negotiation.

 

Research

 

Know what the other person needs before going in. Have settled in your own mind the value and worth of what you’re negotiating for. This information will help you to find the middle ground where agreement can be reached.

 

Walk Away

 

Be willing to end negotiations if things aren’t going well. Don’t be hammered into a deal you’re going to regret. Also, by terminating the negotiation, you show the other person what your values are worth.

 

Slow Down

 

There’s no need to rush. Take time to think through the options. 

 

Aim High

 

Oddly enough, you’ll have better success when you ask for something big. 

 

Know the Competition

 

Understanding what the other side needs will always work in your favor. Keep your focus there. How can you take advantage of their worries and frustrations?

 

Look for the Mutual Benefit

 

If you can find the solution that’s beneficial to the person you’re negotiating with, as well as yourself, you’re sure to have success. Find out how your resolution can best meet their needs, then be sure to point that out.

 

Remember the Give and Take

 

If you give up anything in the negotiation, make sure you’re getting something in return for it. The deal has to be fair on both sides, or it’s not worth taking.

 

Keep an Emotional Distance

 

Remember, success or failure is never about you. Nothing that happens in business should ever be personal.

 

By following these tips, you’re sure to experience success in whatever negotiation you face in the business world. 

 

Should Every Conflict Be Resolved?

Did you know that there are people that specialize in resolving conflicts? Well, there are, that is just how common conflict issues arise today. But do you also know that not every conflict needs a resolution? Probably not and let's look at that issue today. 

 

Professional conflict coaches have one vital piece of information that they share with their clients. That is to simply learn that you don't always have to be right. 

Think about this for a minute. How many times have you found yourself arguing with someone and refusing to give up, because you want to be seen as the winner? 

 

There is an inbred need inside of people to what to be right or seen as the victor. This is the main reason why so many conflicts are never resolved, instead they boil and cause resentment and anger between family and friends for years. 

 

If you can learn that one simple thing, to give up needing to be right, you will find that you are not involved in as many conflicts. What is so wrong with letting someone else be right for a change? If it makes them happy and ends the conflict, you should be happy too. 

 

Of course, you may encounter a situation that is important and you definitely need to be right. This could be conflicts that deal with your children and their safety for example. 

 

Then there are those conflicts that end up being more silly and less meaningful because they drag on so long. The people involved don't even remember the true cause of the conflict in the first place. All they are left with is that feeling of 'I just have to be right!'

 

The conflicts that don't always need resolving are the ones where you want people to do as you wish. All you are looking for is someone to do as you say. This is very difficult to force onto someone and creates nothing but an angry air of conflict. These are the ones that you should learn to recognize and be strong enough to quit on. 

 

If you are attempting to resolve a conflict and there is just no end in sight, decide if the process is worth working on or not. It might be best to give up and walk away. You are not showing signs of weakness. Instead, you are displaying signs that you are mature enough to recognize that a resolution is not going to happen and walking away is the smartest thing to do. 

Communication Struggles That Only Introverts Have

Some of the issues that introverts have when communicating with others are due to the very definition of being an introvert. Extroverts may not understand these things about you because they don’t experience them. By understanding why you should struggle with these types of communication, you can better explain them to those extroverts in your life. 

 

Your conversation must be brilliant - Due to perfectionistic tendencies, introverts frequently don’t speak up, even when they have something to say because they fear it won’t be insightful enough or it will come out all wrong.

 

Neglect phone calls - You much prefer to text or email because you can skip the small talk and it’s socially acceptable with those forms of communication. But phone calls... shudder! You find yourself procrastinating making important phone calls or returning calls, even to those you love. You have to feel energized enough to be an enthusiastic participant in the conversation, which can cause you to put off making calls, even if they are vital.

 

Difficulty thinking in groups - Because you need to think before you speak and because you need to have silence while you ponder, you find it challenging to participate in the conversation when there are comments and ideas flying everywhere. You may feel like you can’t gather your thoughts well enough to contribute to the conversation.

 

Big groups exhaust you - When you have to be around a lot of people, especially if you don’t know them, you feel exhausted fast. One reason for this is because it involves a lot of small-talk, which doesn’t come naturally to introverts. Putting out that much effort wears you out. 

 

Dislike working in groups - Working in groups can be even worse for an introvert than small-talk. When you must rely on others to communicate in ways that aren’t comfortable or understandable to you, it’s a real challenge to complete the project. There’s also the issue of your perfectionism too. Because of your practice of thinking through every possible issue and solution, you are committed to only turning out perfection... but others in the group don’t often care as much about this as completion, or they have a very different perception of what “perfection” is.

 

Feel lonely surrounded by people - Introverts often feel left out of a rapid conversation, whether it’s at a party or a work conference. This often occurs because, by the time you determine what you want to say and the best way to say it, the group has moved onto a new topic. You can easily feel left out and lonely during these discussions - more so than if you were actually alone.

 

Will Your Startup Online Business Be Profitable? Here’s How to Know

You’ve come up with a winning business idea and you’re ready to get to work building your startup. But before you put in the work to make it a reality, there’s one crucial step that will save you a great deal of headache. You need to start with market validation.

 

What Is Market Validation?

 

Market validation means finding out whether there’s demand in the market for your business idea. It tells you how likely it is that your business will be profitable in a reasonable amount of time. If you find that it’s not a potentially profitable idea, you can abandon it or refine it so that it is.

 

Validation is important because you can’t tell all by yourself whether an idea is viable. You need objective data from your market, not just assumptions. This step in the process saves you time and trouble because it prevents you from launching a business that’s not going to take off.

 

Check out the Competition

 

A good way to get started is to see if your idea already exists and is out there making money. Get online and search. See if your competitor has an audience and if they’re selling. If so, this is a profitable idea. 

 

You just have to put your own spin on it. If you find that it’s taken, this doesn’t mean you can’t launch a similar business. In fact, it could tell you it’s a good idea.

 

If you find that many businesses are out there using your idea, you might want to refine it. This could mean the market is already saturated. You’ll face tough competition unless you can find a good way to differentiate yourself. 

 

Does Your Business Offering Solve a Problem?

 

Another way to assess your idea’s viability is to consider it in terms of problem and solution. The best business offerings solve a problem for their customers. What issues and challenges do your customers face? Does your product or service help to solve them?

 

Research your target audience. Follow them on social media, join groups where they’re members, and look for questions they’re asking. 

 

Use Web Analytics

 

You can gain a great deal of insight by looking at web analytics. Start by using a free keyword tool to investigate search terms. Enter terms related to your business idea and look at search volume. If people are looking for these keyword terms, it means they’re looking for what you’re offering.

 

This is also a great way to refine your idea. Keyword search tools will show you other high-volume words and phrases. You can discover what people are searching for.

 

There are programs that analyze social media behavior as well. Don’t forget also to look at Amazon and affiliate network programs and see what products are selling. 

 

Reach out to Your Audience

 

You can get great feedback on your idea by reaching out to your audience and asking them directly if they’re buying what you’re offering. You can start with friends, family members, colleagues, and employees. Reach out to social media followers, email list subscribers, members of your online groups, or any other access you have to your target audience.

 

Ask them whether they’re interested in your idea. While you’re talking to them, see what problems they’re facing. Find out what products they currently use and what faults they have. You can also ask how much they’d pay for a service like yours.

 

Validation Is Just the Beginning

 

Remember that market validation is no guarantee of success. It just tells you that there’s a market out there for what you’re offering. If you take the time to validate, your idea is more likely to earn in the short term. Now, your idea’s ready to launch.

6 Ways to Find Unique Ideas for Your Online Course

Ready to offer an online course? The first major challenge is to come up with a topic. It’s the most important decision you’ll make, so you really need something good. How do you come up with unique ideas for courses people will love to take? Here are 6 ideas for finding unique topics.

 

Frequently Asked Questions

 

What questions do people often ask you? What questions are people asking online? You can look at Q&A sites like Quora or social media and other online forums. 

 

Another idea is to check a similar company or site in your niche and see what questions are on their FAQ. If you can create a course that answers a question on everybody’s mind, you’ll have a great topic that people are interested in.

 

Identify Your Strengths

 

If you offer an online course in a topic where you’re truly an expert, it’s guaranteed to offer great value to your audience. Brainstorm a list of your greatest strengths. 

 

You can often say off the top of your head what you’re good at. You can also analyze your work history to see where you have the most experience. But the best way to find out is to reach out to people in your network and ask them. They know you well and can tell you objectively what you’re best at.

 

Channel Your Inner Nostradamus

 

Get clairvoyant and try to predict what’s coming in the future. It takes a few months to organize and promote an online course. If you can choose a topic that’s going to be trending in the coming months when you’re live, or in the months after that, you’ll really have a great topic on your hands.

 

The good news is that you don’t need to be psychic. You can find out about future trends through market research. Follow industry publications related to your niche. Use tools like Google Trends. Monitor the competition and see what they’re talking about. You can also hone your psychic abilities by knowing past trends and looking for patterns.

 

Look in Unexpected Places

 

Sometimes a great idea comes from somewhere else, not related at all to your business or niche. For example, you might turn on the TV and get a great idea from a news story. Something that comes along your Facebook feed might offer inspiration. Think back on a conversation you recently had with a friend.

 

Get into the mode of always looking for ideas and take notes on your phone whenever something strikes you.

 

Find Gaps in the Market

 

For a unique idea, look for gaps in the market. Look at courses being offered in your niche. You’ll see a few topics being covered by many businesses. Try to find a sub-topic within your niche that’s not being covered and you can make this the topic for your online course.

 

The great advantage here is that you’ll be the only one offering this topic. It may not be a big seller, but if there’s interest, you’ll dominate.

 

Check Analytics

 

People often won’t tell you honestly what they’re interested in even if you conduct surveys and ask them directly. But their actions don’t lie. This is why it’s good to look at analytics. Analytics show you your audience’s behavior.

 

Look at website and blog analytics. Run a newsletter and see which links your subscribers click or messages they open and engage with. Analyze reactions to your social media posts. Look for patterns and you’ll discover your audience’s real interests. 

 

Once you find one of the above ideas that works well for you, document it and refer to it whenever you need new ideas. Also, start an ideas list that you can carry around with you on your phone or in your pocket. Any time inspiration strikes, write it down. You never know when you might hit upon a profitable idea for your online course.

 

The First Hour of Your Day - How to Start Each Day for More Productivity and Focus

What’s the first thing you do when you get started each morning? For many of us, it’s a rush to the PC to check email, which leads to immediately getting bogged down in routine and “have to do” tasks. 

 

The problem with this is that the next thing you know, it’s lunch time and you don’t feel like you’ve gotten anything done. Each of us has our own morning routine and you should take some time to create your own so that it benefits you.

 

The first hour of your day is important as it sets the tone for everything that comes after. It’s a good time to deal with matters that most require our focused thinking and problem solving. Here are tips on how to make the best use of your first hour of the day.

 

Eat First

 

Coffee is great for waking you up and helping you focus, but your brain needs food. Even if it’s just a cup of yogurt or a banana, eat something before you even start thinking about work. You’ve gone 8+ hours without food. You’ll be unable to focus and think clearly on an empty stomach.

 

Don’t Start with the Inbox

 

Far too many people start with their email inbox. Do you know how many messages you respond to per day? It could be well over a hundred. Your email inbox is a clutter of different conversations going on at the same time. Starting by tackling all this chatter is likely to make you feel drained by the time your first hour of work is over.

 

Of course, emails need your response. But rather than going through and splitting your focus and attention on whatever comes next, a better strategy is to glance at emails and decide what needs to be done fast. Then, tackle each issue by issue, when you’re dealing with that particular issue.

 

Look at the Big Picture

 

The first hour of your day is a good time for looking at the big picture before you get started on the fine details. Look at your calendar and think about what’s happening in the coming weeks or months. Review what’s most important and touch on your values and goals. 

 

With the big picture in mind, it’s much easier to decide what needs to be done today and what should be done first. 

 

Make a To Do List 

 

If you really want to control your time for the day, create a to-do list with a time set for each item. Use a timer to stick to the times you set. Another way to manage your to-do list is to decide on a milestone for each task. You may have several projects going at the same time. 

 

Choose a reasonable and productive stopping point for each so that you make sure you get the other things done. 

 

Do Something Fun

 

You may want to start your day with something not at all work-related. For example, set aside 20 minutes to indulge in a hobby. This allows you to wake up and start the day in a good, relaxed mood. You may feel less harried than you would starting to work directly.

 

For the same reason, some people choose to start the day with some light exercise or a walk. 

 

What Works for Your First Hour?

 

Try out a few different ideas for the first hour of your day and take notice of how it affects you. You might want to keep a journal or jot down some notes. Notice how your energy levels feel throughout the day and whether you have any stress. Once you find a morning routine that works to get you started and productive, put it into practice.