Showing posts with label Psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Psychology. Show all posts

Saturday 10 December 2022

You Can Communicate Your Feelings Without Upsetting Others—Here’s How


Have you ever held back on saying something because you didn’t want to upset someone? There’s always a point where you internally debate whether or not to open up or say something, and it’s vital that you take that moment to decide to go forth and communicate. It’s not about avoiding upsetting people but rather about being confident in yourself and your feelings. You’re allowed to feel a certain way, and in order to communicate those feelings, start with these X tips. 

 

1. Understand Yourself Fully First

 

If you start a conversation off with anger or frustration or something else that fuels you to confront someone, chances are you will upset them. Instead, take some time to understand yourself first. Then, when you decide to communicate your feelings, you’ll have a clear headspace, and you’ll be ready to discuss maturely. 

 

2. Decide What to Communicate and What Not to Communicate

 

Some things are best kept to yourself. That doesn’t mean repressing them, but if you get annoyed at your friend for going shopping too often, that’s more of a personal problem than a problem you should voice. Before you jump into a conversation, delineate between the things you should discuss and the things you shouldn’t discuss. 

 

3. Think About Who You Trust

 

Opening up about emotions and vulnerability means you are ready to talk to someone about something serious. But that doesn’t mean you trust the person. You may feel vulnerable and just want a listening ear, but if you’re opening up to someone you don’t trust, you could get yourself into trouble. Make sure the person you’re speaking to is someone you trust – and someone who cares about you! 

 

4. Be Caring

 

There’s nothing good about a conversation that spirals into a heated discussion or anger-fueled debate. Be caring and empathetic with your words. Remember that at the end of the day, the person you’re communicating with is a human just like you. They deserve the respect you’d like to be treated with. The golden rule may seem outdated, but it should always be in the back of your mind – especially when you’re opening up in a feely discussion. 

 

5. Be Independent

 

It seems counterintuitive to think about being independent when you’re opening up to someone, but it’s a big component of a healthy discussion. Despite your relationship with this person, you are you. You need to be responsible for your feelings and actions, and you need to understand that no one is responsible for making you feel a certain way other than yourself. 



5 Steps to Effectively Communicate Your Feelings in Relationships


In relationships, there’s communication, and then there’s effective communication. Communication is something that takes a lot of work, and once you’ve successfully positioned yourself as a communicator, the next step is to crack the code at being an effective communicator. If you’re at that step, try these 5 mini steps to help you along with effectively communicating your feelings. 

 

1. Allow Yourself to Feel 

 

Going into a conversation with guilt or apprehension about your feelings? That won’t help you or your partner. You’re completely allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling, and you’re also allowed to talk about those feelings. 

 

2. Label your Feelings

 

You’re experiencing these feelings, but are you reading more into them? Are you labeling them and trying to put into context the essence of your emotions? It’s not easy to do, but it’s a really important exercise for you to do on your own before opening up and sharing with someone else. 

 

3. Start with Yourself

 

If you’re extroverted or you like talking about your feelings a lot, your first inclination may be to talk it out with your significant other. That’s a great thing to do, but it begins with you. You’ll have a hard time processing everything if you’re influenced by someone else’s insight or advice. Start with yourself, and then work your way up to a discussion with your partner. 

 

4. Remember How Much You Matter

 

You matter to your significant other; your feelings matter to your significant other. Keep this in mind and try to negate the potential fear or hesitation you may be experiencing. Swap those feelings for feelings of confidence and security in the strength of your relationship. 

 

5. Swap “You” for “I”

 

Whenever you get close to saying “You made me feel” or “You did this,” swap it for a personal statement. A conversation is helpful for you to share your perspective – not for you to point fingers at your loved one. Think about how you feel, why you feel that way, and what has happened to contribute to those feelings. 

 

Above all, when you’re entering into a conversation with your significant other, be happy that you’re taking this step. It’s excellent for you and even better for your relationship. Give yourself (and your partner) a pat on the back for working through something difficult, and keep yourself reminded of the light at the end of the communication tunnel – a happy, healthy dynamic between you and your partner. 

 


The 2/1 Communication Secret to Become More Charming


Charming is a word that has different meanings for different people. The word charisma is often brought to mind. When you think of someone as charming, you may feel that person is desirable and delightful, pleasant and appealing, maybe even magnetizing. 

 

Often times you won't be able to put your finger on exactly what draws you to that person. You just know you feel pleasant in their company and enjoy being around them.

 

Do you want to be more like that? Could you advance your career if you learned how to turn on the charm when dealing with others? It's an important skill that socially graceful people use to improve their relationships. Even when interacting with people they don't necessarily like or respect, a charming person can leave a good impression.

 

If you'd like to communicate more effectively and have people refer to you as charming and likable, there's one very simple thing you need to start doing. By the way, this doesn't take much practice. You are already physically hardwired to give off a more friendly, charming, and engaging vibe.

 

You just have to do a little basic math.

 

How Many Ears Do You Have? How Many Mouths?

 

Don't worry. You don't have to break out the calculator here. Just perform a simple math-based assumption.

 

You have 2 ears that are always open.

You only have 1 mouth, and it can be closed.

 

That should tell you what you were created to do more often. You should be listening much more than talking. The charming person is an excellent listener. 

 

She doesn't do it falsely. She asks many questions and uses facial expressions to show she's interested in the person talking. She listens deeply and can repeat things that have been told to her. Those are charming qualities.

 

As writer Eugene O'Neill stated ...

 

"We were given mouths that close and ears that don't ... that should tell us something."

 

Ancient philosopher Epictetus gave us the same lesson for being more charming.

 

"We have two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak."

 

Being Charming Is All About Listening

 

Talking is an important part of being charming. You have to say the right things. You should also be genuine. People can tell when you're false and trying to manipulate them. So really care about the person you're talking to. Say pleasant things and think about the experience for the other person rather than yourself.

 

Then listen deeply. Get into the conversation, so when you decide to talk, you repeat things the person has said. You let them know you're truly listening and getting into the feelings and emotions being relayed. You were given two ears and only one mouth, and that mouth can close. So do at least two times more listening than talking if you want to be more charming and engaging.

 


Saturday 3 December 2022

Using Challenges to Develop More Discipline


One way you can develop more discipline is to use challenges. This makes it more like a game and less like a chore. Also, there can be the element of competition with others and having others help hold you accountable which improves your odds of success. 

 

Challenges are very popular and you can find them in many places. Or you can make up your own and share it with a group of people. You also can make your own challenge or use one from someone else to just challenge yourself. However, you end up doing it is up to you. 

 

When looking to see if a challenge will be useful to you, there are some factors to look for, so you can best benefit. Is the challenge realistic? You want to stretch yourself, but not to the point where you have no chance of success. For example, you could challenge yourself to lose 30 pounds in 30 days, but that is not very realistic. You also want the challenge to not be too easy. You need to see if you have the time to devote to it. Be sure to include time for learning new things, For example, if you challenge yourself to build a new blogging website in 30 days, remember that if you have never done one before, you will have to learn some things and that will be extra time above just writing the blog posts.

 

If the challenge is a large one over a longer period of time, are there clear-cut milestones along the way to help you have a sense of accomplishment? If your challenge, for example, is losing 60 pounds in a year, you need to set up smaller weight goals along the way so you can keep up the momentum. Milestones also help you see if you need to tweak the challenge, either lower or higher. If you lose 10 pounds in about 2 months, you are right on schedule, If you have only lost 5 pounds in that same time period, though, you may need to lower the amount you plan on losing in a year. Now if you lose 15 pounds in 2 months, you may want to raise the amount you plan on losing in a year, or cut the time down to say 10 months. 

 

When you do a group challenge, you have some added benefits. There is a sense of camaraderie when working together on a goal that you do not get just competing with yourself. Other people can give you ideas, too. For example if you are in a group losing weight, people can share healthy recipes and support. Just remember that the primary person you are in competition with is not the others, but yourself and you can really enjoy doing a group challenge. 

 


5 Steps to Challenging the Status Quo to Live a More Fulfilled Life


An article recently stated this: to feel fulfilled, you need to experience three things.


  • You must be doing something which challenges you.
  • You must feel interested in the things you do.
  • There needs to be some reward for doing these things.

 

The problem with most people is they don't experience all three of these at the same time. When you get stuck in the status quo, you frequently are no longer being challenged. Things might be somewhat interesting, but they're not exciting. Even if there is a reward in the form of a paycheck or a stable relationship, losing the other two items do not make up for this.

 

It's time to challenge the status quo. How? Follow these five steps.

 

Quit Doing What Everyone Else Is

 

Sure, everyone else might be happy and doing a certain thing, but this doesn't mean you are. People have all kinds of jobs. They're involved in all kinds of activities. Not all of these are right for you. By focusing less on what everyone does and more on what you want, you will feel much happier. 

 

Stand Out More

 

Seriously, are you happy playing it safe? Or would you instead take a chance on being seen for who you are, in all of your magnificent, eccentric glory? The beautiful thing about letting go of the idea of fitting in is you no longer are stuck as a follower. It's a lot more fun being the trendsetter anyway.

 

Quit Thinking You Can Buy Your Way to Happiness

 

When we're not happy, we start burying ourselves in stuff, thinking this will somehow make up for it. The harsh truth? All the new TVs, fancy cars, and exotic vacations in the world are never going to make you feel any more fulfilled. Doing what you hate to get ahead is always going to be a soul-suck.

 

Start Trusting Yourself More

 

You don't need everyone else to tell you what to do. You already have pretty solid instincts. Do what feels right to you. Honor your moral code. You'll find you're a lot happier for it.

 

Take More Chances

 

Playing it safe is one of the most significant ways we lock ourselves into the status quo. Unfortunately, this is how you also ever keep from bettering yourself. If you want your life to change, you're going to have to take a chance on doing something different. 

 

Together these five items become a powerful force of change. Dedicate yourself to living life outside the lines. Explore your dreams and embrace the person you are inside. Find challenge and passion, and you've got a fulfilling life.

 

As for the rest? Remember the adage: Do what you love, and the money will follow. You've got this!



6 Strategies to Challenge Your Inner Critic’s Voice


It’s time you cultivated an attitude

 

Look, life can be hard sometimes. The last thing you need is your Inner Critic taking the wheel, getting on your case about every last little thing you’re trying to do. Why are you listening to someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart? No, it’s time to challenge your Inner Critic and silence their voice once and for all. 

 

How? Try these tried-and-true strategies:

 

Start Noticing

 

Inner Critics like to whisper, never to speak out loud. The last thing they want is to be noticed in their nefarious schemes. By paying attention to what’s going on in your head, you draw their lies out into the light where they cannot stand. 

 

Give it a Nickname

 

Whenever the Inner Critic speaks up, give it a silly name. Think to yourself things like “Hey, it’s Moldyvort, back again to cause trouble.” By making fun of this voice, it’s a whole lot harder to take seriously.

 

What about a Voice?

 

Do you hear some pretty negative things? Try saying them out loud. By giving voice to these thoughts, you’ll hear just how ridiculous they sound. 

 

Take a Negativity Break

 

Tell your Inner Critic they can only come out to play at a particular time each day. During that time, take a break and tell the Inner Critic to do their worst. Be sure to set a timer for the space allotted, so you don’t give more time to the negativity than necessary. Sit back and let it speak its piece. The funny thing? Most of the time, you won’t even remember what it was the Critic had to say by the time your negativity break rolls around. Even if you do, when the timer goes off, remind yourself you’re done and walk away. 

 

Question Everything

 

Is there any truth to what your Inner Critic is saying? Examine the statements. Feel free to argue back. Point out the flaws in the reasoning and back it up with examples of times when you’ve proven those things aren’t true.

 

Replace the Words

 

Finally, drop the negative words entirely and rewrite the script to turn each negative into a positive. For example, saying, “I’m terrible at writing reports” can become “I did a great job on the last report I wrote. I bet this one will be fine too.”

 

Remember, silencing an Inner Critic is going to take time and energy. This kind of voice doesn’t just shut up because you told them to go away once. No, you’re going to have to do the work, using these strategies until you’re finally free of the nasty little voice.

 

Once you’ve got it, though? Your world will change enormously in some pretty great ways. After all, without your critic to hold you back, you’re primed for success in a huge way.



Monday 14 November 2022

The Art Of Patience


The Dictionary defines patience as, “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. “

 

Patience is a skill that many of us could learn how to master better. We may get short with our kids, have some road rage, or struggle with other issues that make us stamp our feet or get frustrated over the little things. Learning the art of patience can facilitate more success, healthier relationships with others and yourself, improve wellbeing and much more. 

 

What is Patience?

 

"One minute of patience, ten years of peace" - Greek Proverb 

 

First, we need to take a closer look at patience and what it means. Patience is a state that occurs between an experience that you have and your reaction. Whether you want to be patient with yourself, with those around you, or with life, patience always seems to be how you deal with obstacles or delays in life. 

 

Those with patience will find that they can let go of some of the things that occur to them that are outside their control. This can be hard for some people to do. But when you are successful, it can help you to live a happier life because you have less frustration, anxiety, and stress. 

 

What are the Benefits of Patience?

 

Several benefits come with having more patience during our lives according to Medium.com. Some of these benefits include:

 

  • You avoid health issues: Having patience can put us at a lower risk of heart conditions, anxiety, and depression. The reason for this is that we feel less stressed when we are more patient. 
  • You make better decisions: You won’t rush into something because you are worried about it taking too long. You can slow down and make a smart decision. 
  • It is easier to be happy: Patience allows us to feel happier. When we have less stress and anxiety, we can feel more tranquil and better overall. 
  • You find life is easier: Your journey in life is easier if you can reduce the stress and just be patient in life. 

 

Everyone can work on their patience, bringing in more and helping them feel less stressed and happier. Finding the right tips to add to your life to have more patience is the key to making that happen. 

 

How to Become More Patient

 

Now it is time to look at some of the steps that you need to take to be more patient in your daily life. Some of the best steps to help with this include:

 

  • Be mindful of your thoughts: While a situation can make you frustrated, you get to determine how you react to it. You can secure your thought before it becomes an action and turn it into something more peaceful too. 
  • Figure out what makes you impatient: You need to learn more about your triggers and what makes you impatient overall. When you learn what these triggers are, you will be able to avoid them or find methods better deal with those things. 
  • Show gratitude: When you show more gratitude in your daily life, you will be happier and won’t have impatience take over your life any longer. 
  • Set short-term goals: Setting goals and celebrating your achievements will give you something amazing to look forward to and can help out. 
  • Make yourself wait: When you make yourself wait and think through something, you will find that it is easier for you to learn patience too. This can be hard but is still very good for helping you slow down. 

 

Being patient is a skill that takes time. While it would be nice to wake up one day and have a ton of patience, this is not always possible. By following some of the tips above, you can add more patience to your life, along with more happiness. 

 


Wednesday 9 November 2022

5 Powerhouse Tips for Using Positive Affirmations


You’ve probably heard that affirmations can help you be more motivated and successful in meeting your goals. But did you know that there are some ways you can supercharge your affirmations to make them even more powerful, even transformative? 

 

Say you want to lose weight and get fit. If your affirmation is “I will lose weight and go to the gym every day,” how does that make you feel? There’s a heaviness in the energy of that statement that’s not very motivating. It focuses on the negative aspects of your goal (the need to lose weight and the obligation to go to the gym) and pushes the goal out into an indefinite future. 

 

You can use these five steps to turn your affirmations around and make them high energy and motivating. 

 

1. Make your affirmations active

 

Using active verbs keeps the energy upbeat and your focus in the present moment. So now your affirmation starts “I am [positive verb] …”

 

2. Include Positive Emotions

 

Think of how you want to feel when you reach your goal. Are you happy? Proud of yourself? Relaxed? Grateful? Make sure your affirmation makes you feel good when you say it out loud. 

 

3. Keep it Short

 

Make your affirmations brief and memorable. Concise, focused statements are easier to remember. 

 

4. Stay in the Present

 

Your affirmation should always be in the present tense. Make sure you use “I am” rather than “I will” statements. 

 

5. Keep it Positive

 

Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Think of the positive result you want to achieve. 

 

6. Switch up Your Affirmations

 

Have a look at your current affirmations and see if they are working as well as they could be. In the example above, you could refurbish it into something genuinely motivational. 

 

Instead of “I will lose weight and go to the gym every day,” let’s make it something that will make you feel good. 

 

“I am enjoying getting slimmer and fitter every day.”

 

“I am feeling stronger and healthier by choosing a healthier lifestyle.” 

 

“I am joyfully and easily helping my body to get stronger and slimmer every day.”

 

Play around with the words until they feel right for you. Just keep your affirmation in the present, focused on what you want and what feels good. 

 

Repeat your affirmations at least three times a day and look forward to manifesting the life you want. 

 


What are Positive Affirmations?


You’ve probably seen positive affirmations across social media, posters, and cards. They’re all over Facebook and Instagram, and they can seem a little cheesy sometimes. But did you know that positive affirmations can actually be powerful tools for change? 


What are Affirmations? And How do They Work?

 

Simply put, affirmations are anything you say or think. They make up a large part of the mind-talk that everyone has running in their heads all the time. We all use affirmations, though we don’t do it consciously. This allows our default, negative thoughts to run our lives. 

 

Think about the messages that are part of your regular self-talk. Do you have kind, positive, encouraging self-talk, or does your Inner Critic dominate with harsh words of criticism? Many of your messages will have been seeded during your childhood. Were you encouraged and supported to give it your best shot, or were you told you were lazy, or no good? Those messages are still affecting your current mindset. 

 

Whether you have a positive or a negative script running through your mind, those thoughts and beliefs shape your reality. Negative thoughts feed self-doubt and discourage you from trying to reach your full potential. If you believe you’re no good at giving presentations, you’re not going to feel confident enough to give it your all. 


Change up Your Self-Talk

 

The good news is that you can change your self-talk by choosing to use positive affirmations to rewire your brain to have a positive mindset. 

 

The process is pretty straightforward if you stick to some basic rules: 

 

  • Always use the present tense. Your brain reacts in the moment, so make that moment as positive as you can. 
  • Keep it positive and simple. Saying short, positive phrases like ‘I am calm’ is much more effective than telling yourself, “I mustn’t get upset.’
  • Use repetition. If you repeat your affirmations regularly and consistently, you will strengthen those neural pathways in the brain. Your habitual patterns of thought and belief will become more positive. Try to repeat your chosen affirmations three times a day for at least five minutes. 


Choose to Change your Life

 

You have the power to choose your life experience. Whatever you tell yourself affirms that you want to have more of it in your life. So, if you’re angry or resentful, you’re setting yourself up for more of that in your life. If you’re confident and hopeful, if you expect things to go well, then that’s precisely what will happen. 

 

You can choose to feel good and positive about your life. Using conscious affirmations is a great way to start making those positive changes today. 



Wednesday 2 November 2022

5 Ways To Endure Difficult Times


No one’s life is easy–no one! It’s true that some people seem to have it easier than others. Yet, you can bet they’re suffering from one thing or another.

 

That’s why we should all try to refrain from imposing our personal views or jumping to conclusions. Instead, why not try to be more civil towards one another and show some empathy?

 

We could all use a bit more positivity in our day, don’t you think? Even the simple act of smiling as you pass someone by can brighten up their day. That’s how closely we’re all connected!

 

While we’re at it, we should mention that smiling is one of the best ways to endure difficult times. So, if you’re interested in finding out more ways to help you get through the tough times in your life, you’ve come to the right place!

 

Let’s get started.

 

Be Patient

 

Our brains are hardwired to protect against all foreign and domestic threats. So, they tend to stretch out adverse events in our lives to make you think it’s been happening for a long time.

 

Yet, the worst part is that you start believing that the bad times will never go on forever. You feel like there’s no end in sight, and you’re doomed to lead a tragic life.

 

Don’t believe it.

 

One of the constants in life is change. So, whatever you’re going through—good or bad—will end eventually.

 

There will be situations that will call on you to act and help bring the problem to an end. With others, on the other hand, you simply need to wait out the storm and have faith in yourself

 

Embrace Your Weaknesses

 

Each of us has our own individualized set of strengths and weaknesses, attributes and flaws. The problem is that when things get tough, we only focus on how weak and helpless we feel.

 

We lose sight of our strengths and trick ourselves into highlighting our flaws. This makes us feel like losers incapable of rising above any challenging situations.

 

The key to avoiding this pit of self-doubt is to never compare yourself with anyone else. Then, remind yourself of all your strengths.

 

You can even make a list of all the good things you’re good at and hang it up. Make sure you place it somewhere you pass by frequently. It’s a great trick that will help shift your perception from feeling weak and vulnerable to feeling empowered and confident.

 

Be Proud of How Far You’ve Come

 

You can’t have made it this far in life without having been in one or two bad situations before. So, whenever you need a bit of a boost during tough times, just remind yourself of similar situations you’ve endured in the past.

 

You probably either overcame the situation or didn’t. Either way, you came out having learned something and gained life experience.

 

It’s a great confidence booster to remember how well you managed to navigate difficult times and handle challenges with ease. It’ll also help shift your attitude from a sense of helplessness to feeling motivated to take action and do what needs to get done.

 

Practice Gratitude

 

We started the article by saying that everyone goes through hard times in their life. That’s a given. But the difference between those who land on their feet and those who live a life of gloom is gratitude.

 

No matter how difficult things might be right now, there will always be a dozen other things going well in your life.

 

Is your relationship on the rocks? Be happy that you have a steady job, have a roof over your head, and can put food on the table.

 

Are you having problems at work? Be thankful for your health, family, and friends.

Then, there are all the little things we tend to take for granted, like beautiful sunsets, relaxing walks in the park, and delicious coffee. Change your perspective, and you’ll realize that things aren’t really that bad after all.

 

Learn from Your Experiences

 

Life coaches, psychologists, and therapists all agree that there's no failure when it comes to personal development. There’s only your interpretation of the events and how you react to them.

 

Sounds simple enough, right? Yes! But as soon as you’re faced with a problem, all that wisdom flies out of the window.

 

This comes from years of being programmed that failure is a big flashing bulb telling us we’re not doing something right, causing us to steer off course. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, everything we now do so well came from a trial-and-error process, like walking, typing, and driving.

 

What you should do is try to figure out why this is happening. Then, use this experience to learn more about likes and dislikes, weaknesses and strengths. Eventually, you’ll be able to turn things around.